Fabulous Friday Pool Shooting

I was at the bar waiting for the pool shooting regulars when Mike Ryan showed up. Mike is one of the best players I know and he wanted to shoot a few games. I was like au-ight so I broke out the Lucasi I bought off of Kman when I lost my other stick. When I say I lost the other stick, I don’t mean in a bet, I mean I literally left it in a cab a couple months ago so I didn’t have it anymore. I didn’t even notice until I was going to shoot pool the next night and I called the cab company to no avail as they said nothing had been turned in. It was very disturbing because I had an emotional attachment to that stick (also a Lucasi) as it is the stick I bought on Camelback Road when I entered some pool tournaments last May.

But anyway here I was playing against Mike Ryan with this other Lucasi stick. It’s a better stick than the first one with a nice pro taper but the only thing is that I need to get the tip replaced. That and since I had the pokey thing in the other cue case that means I left that in the cab as well which means that I am now more apt to miscue. So I play Mike Ryan and I lose the first game. Then the second game I bear down and I run all seven of my balls then the 8 without missing once. It’s a table run and then I begin the next game with a successful break and I run six consecutive before I finally miss. Mike then follows up with his own table run and so I lose but in the grand scheme of things I didn’t do that bad as, counting those two games, I had a streak of 14 consecutive shots without a miss. Not bad for getting used to a new stick.

I end up getting all buzzed on beer and Tangueray and then, to cap off a perfect night, I get in the cab and the driver says “I’ve got something for you.” I’m really buzzed so I’m like “What?” and he says “I’ve got your pool stick.” This was so unreal I scarcely dared to believe this, lest I wake up to discover I’ve been dreaming. This guy had been driving around waiting to see me again so he could give me back my cue. He drives to the station and pops the trunk to his car and there is my magical Lucasi, safe and sound. He gives it to me and I open the side compartment and everything is there, the pokey thing, the scuffer, the 8-ball cloth, and my chalk. The best part of the deal is that that case has slots for two cue sticks so now I have both Lucasis in one case. I am great, pool is great, and the cab driver got a nice tip as I was very appreciative that he didn’t sell it. Oh yeah and Mike Ryan burst into tears* when I had that table run so that made my day as well. And THAT is the meaning of good Friday.

* lie

Beyond the Pale (More Al Sharpton)

This from Al Sharpton regarding Kelly Tilghman’s Tiger Woods remark:

But Sharpton insists it doesn’t matter how profusely someone apologizes, no more than it matters who forgives Tilghman for her remark.

“It’s not about Tiger Woods. It’s about the station. It’s about using public airwaves to offend people,” Sharpton said. “Some things are beyond the pale of discussion.”

“Beyond the pale of discussion” means that you’re such a gigantic pussy and you know you don’t have a valid point so you declare the subject to be off limits. It’s the same reason religious people declare certain speech to be “blasphemous”. Try discussing with a theologian the philosophical possibility that the Bible was inspired by an evil and lying God in which case we would be screwed whether we worship Him or not. It’s just as valid a possibility as the traditional Judeo-Christian concept of God and it’s not a problem that can be dismissed by referring to Biblical scripture so the only answer is to declare the question blasphemy and beyond the pale of discussion because it’s not a debate you can win. THAT is the strategy Al Sharpton is taking with the above “beyond the pale” comment because he’s a gigantic pussy.

As a curious aside, the very phrase “beyond the pale” stems from Russian Jewish history which brings to mind Al Sharpton’s stellar relations with the Jews. Beyond the pale indeed. . .

A Holocaust

Shame on the Golf Channel for suspending golf anchor Kelly Tilghman for a poor choice of words. In discussing Tiger Woods’ dominance in his sport and the incredible challenge of young golfers having to compete with him, another commentator said “maybe they should gang up on him for a while” to which she added “lynch him in a back alley.”

Ok, poor choice of words. She should have said “jump” or “murder” him and the comment would have passed without notice, but that’s easy enough for me to say because I have the benefit of hindsight. As far as Kelly and Tiger are concerned, they both have stated that the comment was not intended as a racial comment and Tiger says they have been friends for years and that the comment was a non-issue. The Golf Channel agreed that Kelly’s choice of words was inadvertent but they suspended her for two weeks anyway. I think that decision was based on moral cowardice and that, rather than do the right thing, they chose to offer an innocent person up as a Holocaust on the altar of political correctness.

Enter Al Sharpton and he says that this is not about Tiger Woods and that the comment was an insult to all African-Americans. The implication is that, since Tiger Woods is part black, the insult to him is not his to forgive since he’s not an individual, he’s a part of the steaming monolith that is known as All Black People, who (as we all know) are collectively represented by Al Sharpton. I would beg to differ as I do not think Al Sharpton represents all or even most black people. It is my assertion that he only represents the whiny pussies and the black racists.

Sharpton’s entire case is predicated on two false presumptions here, and the are:

1) Lynching is only possible in a racial context (false)
2) That any reference to Tiger Woods can only be a black reference (false, he’s like three different races not to mention that some of us think of him only as the most dominant golfer of our time)
3) That Kelly Tilghman referenced a sometimes racial action to a partially black golf legend in a split second off the cuff remark and the she intentionally was connecting all those dots with malice aforethought in order to slam All Black People (“Here’s my chance to let all the coloreds know how I really feel!”) Shut the fuck up, I don’t believe that for one second and if you have any common sense then neither do you.

That is not the reason I linked to this story today however. Look at the shit that excreted out of his mouth in this story:

“This is about saying this woman’s language violated the civil rights that you have been entrusted with an FCC license not to do.”

Language violates civil rights??? Free speech and thought are the enemy now? Fuck you Al Sharpton, I would rather live in a world with racism and lynchings then I would want to live in a world without free speech. And as a matter of fact, I would rather live in a world without Al Sharpton. You are fat and cruel and the world would be better off without you. Speaking of, if Sharpton reads that and pulls a Megan Meier, will the press refer to that as a self lynching instead of hanging based on the racial context?

Malicious and Selective Prosecution

Oh, so Myspace is the victim now? It’s not enough that they want to pass Fat Megan’s Law but now they want to selectively prosecute Lori Drew for misrepresenting herself on Myspace, something that nobody else in history ever gets prosecuted for. This is total 100% bullshit.

People misrepresent on Myspace all the time as well as on dating sites, gaming servers, and everywhere else in the world including pick up bars. Why is a grand jury looking into prosecuting Lori Drew this? Because they’re frustrated because it’s not a crime to recommend suicide so they couldn’t get her for that. Get over it people, it’s not a crime to give people advice or to make a statement of opinion (the world would be a better place without you) and if it’s a crime to misrepresent then grand juries should be convening everywhere to charge size 10 women who try their best to squeeze into a size 6 and white people who murder the English language in a pathetic attempt to come across as black. This isn’t about justice, it’s about selectively punishing someone for something relatively benign because the thing we hate them for was not against the law at the time they did it. Hate Lori Drew if you want but in this case the ends do not justify the means.

Oh, and let’s put this to a vote to see if she was right: is the world actually a better place without Megan Meier? For my part I find every day since she committed suicide just a little more sun shiny 🙂

Hillary Clinton Runs Your Life

The beast’s fangs show through its smile:

“I care about what is going on in peoples lives. That’s how I got involved in this kind of work. That’s what I think a president should be concerned about. And there’s a lot of concern and worry and just people hoping and praying that their problems are gonna be solved.”

No. The duty of the President is not to solve people’s problems, it is to protect their freedom. I’m not “hoping and praying” for you to step in and run my life. I don’t want someone commanding me to get health care, raising “sin taxes” on cigarettes and liquor, awarding my hard earned cash to people who choose not to work, dictating where strip clubs can or cannot be zoned, or even even threatening me when you think it’s time for me to cut my grass. You stupid fuck, may your campaign go down in flames, if I thought giving away my freedoms was the best thing for me I would move to Cuba or Venezuela. Go solve your own goddamned problems and leave me the hell alone you elitist thug.

Presumptions

It amuses me how, as a general rule, people tend to presume that when they die they are going to end up in heaven and that they will reside therein, enjoying all the amenities there. They tend to ignore the possibility that they might not go anywhere other than the ground or that they could even end up burning forevermore within the bowels of hell (or even Cleveland). Obituaries bear this out, often sickeningly gummed up with such floral language such as “Old Ma Kettle was too beautiful for this earth so Gawd called her up so that He could enjoy her presence for the rest of Eternity.” Besides the terrible imagery of this kind of thing, I find the “I’m going to heaven” presumption to be a bit overblown and I usually indicate to people as such.

One day as my mom was pontificating about her mother who died in 1980 (or thereabouts), she sighed and said she wished she could talk to her mother again. Then she said “But I know I will talk to her again one day. I will see her again when I die.”

I shot back with “YOU THINK GRAMMA WENT TO HELL?!??”

noob

Not that I’m elite or anything, I know I’m not. But at level 37 (or something) I’m higher than this 14 who keeps messaging asking if we can group so he can level up quicker. He’s in my guild so it wouldn’t be a big issue if I wasn’t ON ANOTHER CONTINENT when he messages me but whatever. My brother set the guild message of the day as “Help a noob, remember you were once one too” and that makes sense so I keep that in mind.

Later on when we’re on the same continent I tell the guy to meet me in Southshore. I invite him to group and he immediately places a big fat star right above my character. Still annoyed with him from the billions of messages earlier I message to him “Get this star off me or I’ll murder you!” He responds with “Why? You don’t like the star?” He changes it to a skull. I leave the group and set him on ignore. I’m not wasting time on this idiot.

Later still we both happen to be in the Wetlands at the same time. He’s been asking other guild members why I’m mad at him. I decide to give him another chance. I take him off ignore, invite him to group, and meet up with him in the middle of the Wetlands. It takes me like five minutes to get to him. When I get there I ask him what quest I can help him with. He tells me he doesn’t have any quests in the Wetlands. No quests, he’s just standing smack dab in the middle of Wetlands for nothing.

I tell him to follow me and we go back to where you pick up all the quests. I tell him to find a quest. He’s all like stumped. I tell him to go to where the exclamation points are and pick up a quest. He says “I see one!” and heads directly to the spot that changes your appearance to that of a Christmas gnome. Poof! He comes out. I say “GET A QUEST!” He shouts “WEEEEE!” and starts jumping around in celebration of his Christmasyness. This goes on for a couple of minutes. I sigh, remove him from the group, and set him to ignore. When he’s not looking I stealth over to wait for a ship to take me to another continent. He spots me and the next thing I know he’s right next to me and he can see me in my stealth mode. I activate my 10 second vanish and I drop off the dock right into the ocean. Later he’s messaging my son asking why I’m mad at him. My son says “Cuz you’re a noob and you’re annoying.”

See, my son and I are noobs to Phelps (who is a level 70) so when he was ready to mash the Scarlet Monastery for us we made our way directly there as fast as we could although for me it was long trek as I was on the other continent and was still 20 minutes away from having the ability to hearthstone again. If you’re gonna be a noob in need of help the least you can do is to be a considerate one. I should invite that other guy to group up next time I’m on and then hearthstone out as soon as he shows up.

If you don’t have any idea of what I’m talking about then go out and buy World of Warcraft, install it on your computer, and join the online sensation before we murder you!

Thick as Thieves

Not only do police lie, they also create crime in order to justify their own existence in order to (what else?) fight the crime they created. Apparently all the pre-existing crimes have already been solved so they need to create situations to tempt otherwise law-abiding citizens in order to drum up some business. Amazing. Those stories warm my heart. Or is that a red laser dot?

(note: the above is not representative of all police departments. At least I really really hope it isn’t)

Dead Pool List Prediction

My Benazir Bhutto prediction was right on the money. I predicted this last month in comments on R’s blog. Oh by the way R, you were wondering why Musharraf appears to appease the extremists while only going through the motions of cracking down on them, THAT is why. Like I said he’s gone about as pro-American as you can get away with as a leader in Pakistan. It’s a balancing act with no net.

New Holiday

Fuck Kwanzaa. If it’s two things I hate, it’s racism and traditions. So I’m definitely hating Kwaanza since it’s an new tradition invented to give a racist alternative to Christmas. In protest I think I’m going to invent a new Mexican-American alternative to Christmas. Every member of a subsection of American society should do the same. Kwaanza will be drowned out as one in a sea of many stupid new ideas.

What should I call the new Chicano Holiday? Chimi-Changanzaa? What traditions should it entail?