Uninvited to My Funeral
AND I MEAN IT!! The following people are NOT to let into my funeral (not that I think they would come anyway but they might show up just to be sarcastic) so, much like when Bernard, Eric, and UNLV Jacket banned Kim at the door from my party in 1988, THESE people will be bounced on out:
- Elton John:Â If you show up at my funeral and sing “Candle in the Wind” I will climb out of my coffin and kill you MYSELF! You’re not supposed to use the same funeral song over and over!!!!
In previous times I have said Monique should not be allowed but I have relented and she shall be invited in. This list will be updated as needed. Any update that posts from me after the date and time of my actual death should be VERY suspect.
Oh yes, I don’t want to be cremated because I find the viewing of the body right before burial to be frightfully romantic. And I want to be buried with a card on my chest that says “I’d still rather be here than at Leroy’s”.
Thank you for your time and attention to this matter.