Ayn Rand in the Hood

I’m at the bar with this girl the other night and having a good conversation. She’s getting ready to leave because she’s out of beer and money. I offer to buy a pitcher and split it with her. She says thanks but no, she’s an independent woman and doesn’t accept charity. Stealing from Hank Reardon in Ayn Rand’s novel “Atlas Shrugged”, I say this isn’t charity. I’m doing this of my own self interest. I’m having a good time with you and I give you the beer for my own sake, to keep me entertained.” She accepts and everyone ends up happy.

Another evening we’re ready to call an end to the night. We’re both starving and I invite her to my house for enchiladas I cooked earlier in that day. She says “No, then I”m going to ‘owe’ you and you’re gonna use that against me to try to get me into bed.” I say “Listen, I don’t play the blackmail game. Anything people do in this world should be done of their own free will and for mutual benefit. I’m hungry, you’re hungry. I have food. I like your company. Let’s go.”

Yesterday I go to her place to help hook up her computer. When we’re at the computer place I tell her I have lots of software I can give her as soon as I get my CD drive fixed (my kids broke it somehow or another a while back.) Money’s kind of tight so I tell her I can’t get the drive today. She finds out the price of the drive, gets it, pays for it, and gives it to me. Later that night she tells her daughter that she just bought this for my computer. Her daughter looks confused for a moment, then says “Why?” She says because Mike’s gonna hook us up with all sorts of software and a bunch of games from his computer as soon as his drive is fixed!” The daughter brightens up and says “Ohhhhhhh!” I get this warm feeling and smile at the benefit of free trade, capitalism, and Ayn Rand in the hood.

One Response to “Ayn Rand in the Hood”

  1. Phelps says:

    You should submit this for the Carnival of the Capitalists.