In the Spirit of Angry Times

Today I’m in California. I’m sitting in Northe‘s office when Female Boss comes in and just looks at me. Clearly she was expecting to see Northe and she stares as if expecting that her locked eyeballs are going to produce a spontaneous explanation. Sensing her discomfort I decide to help her along so I begin: “Northe is ill so he won’t be in today. The agency has sent me to replace him.”

“What agency?” Female Boss responds evenly. It seems her antennae are acutely alert today, moreso than usual, and she will not be satisfied with such a vague explanation. I try again.

“Northe is doing a spin off. He has his own show now. I’m the new character here to fill in.”

“Well why didn’t you just say so?” she responds, and is evidently satisfied with this. “I have a lot of work to do today so I’d like not to be bothered. Anyway nice to meet you. May I call you Northe?”

“I’d prefer not” I reply.

“Ok, well just make yourself busy North.” She opens up Solitaire and proceeds to play for the next half hour. I busy myself pretending to work on a spreadsheet while I’m actually checking the box scores from last night’s NBA games. This is supposed to be a change of pace for me but so far it seems eerily reminiscent of working for the government.

At some point later Male Boss blusters in with a shit-eating grin on his face. He’s a little more animated than usual and clearly in a good mood. This seems to set female boss’s temperment to ‘ticked off’ as her jaw tightens. You can clearly see this as there’s a little line where her jaw muscles are clenched. She sits awaiting whatever it is that male boss has to say.

“I just accomplish the wonderful” he begins by way of explanation. “This is better than anything you have done in a year” he says directly to female boss. Clearly he is gloating in his cunningness. “I have bought a new property dirt cheap.”

“What property? What cheap?” female boss asks, visibly irritated, not by the purchase itself, but by the effect it’s had on male boss. His happiness vis-a-vis hers appears to be a zero sum game.

That area we were talking of last summer. I bought it after we talk about it and they been working on it all this months. The house is finish today” he said with pride.

“WHAT?? You built a house on that ancient Indian burial ground??? I warned you AGAINST that place! How much did it even cost to exhume and rebury the bodies??”

“No exhume, no move bodies” he says with a dismissive wave of the hand. “We just move the headstones. Why you always snapping your face like that? What?”

Female Boss just stands there glaring, her pupils narrowing down to tiny dots as her upper cheek begins to involuntarily twitch. Quietly I scoot back my chair and climb under my desk. Lucky for me I brought a snickers. More to report as the situation develops.

4 Responses to “In the Spirit of Angry Times”

  1. One of the funniest posts ever way to go Southe

  2. Mexigogue says:

    I just had to try this. With the Angry Time characters, the stories practically write themselves!

  3. Thanks. Now I have another blog to clutter up my brain with.

    PS.
    Dealey Plaza is located on top an old Indian burial ground. This gives new flare to the term “dead President.”

  4. HMt says:

    fuck Mexi, what an honor to Northe.. you should try talkin to the dude on a rather regular basis – his angry times is not limited to work… ask him about Fabian nunez and churros…