I remember the commercials they used to have on TV when I was a kid. When I was about nine I started watching NFL games religiously and during football season every day that wasn’t football day was a pure torture of waiting. Then on Sunday I’d sit transfixed before our black and white television to watch the games and during the breaks I would be inundated with commercials about beer. Budweiser, Michelob, Heineken all in my face all day week in and week out. Yeah right, like that’s gonna have any effect on me.

Our family never owned a dog but I saw all the dog food commercials too. This was right about the time that some scandal broke nationally in the news about old people on tight social security budgets supplementing their diets with dog food. The Gainsburgers dog food commercials made the stuff look so good I would get hungry just watching it. I was convinced then as I am now that they were intentionally marketing their product to old people. Hell, at the time the TV had damn near convinced me it was time for me to go out and buy Grecian Formula.

All in all it’s clear that the quality and impact of television commercials has increased dramatically since I was a kid. Some of the old ones still stand out though. I’ve made it one of my life goals and I’m still waiting to find myself in some situation that is appopriate for me to use my favourite TV commercial quote of all time (ancient Chinese secret huh?). That one’s gonna be kind of complicated though. I’ll have to do something like get ‘surprised’ by an old Asian pre-op trannie. How often does that kind of thing happen? Seldom, that’s what.

Historically I thought the Wendy’s “Where’s the Beef” campaign was severely over-rated and the Tide commercials were terrible and made me want to go out and buy the leading brand. But I think the best commercial of all time was Alabama Man. That is one childhood memory I will never forget.

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8 Responses to “Marketing”

  1. Nice Rack says:

    I think I dated Alabama Man once.

  2. mexi says:

    I’m hungry. Do you have any food I can scam off you?

  3. Phelps says:

    I think I am Alabama Man.

  4. Nice Rack says:

    No food here. I just had a salad for lunch, so that I can get skinny again.

  5. mexi says:

    I got invited to join a bowling team but I’m completely incapable of bowling. The last time I tried was one day when I went to the bowling alley with Monique. Her ex-husband just happened to be there and just to make an awkward situation worse he decided to bowl with us. He was throwing strike after strike while Monique and I could barely manage to get one or two pins at a time. Then I went home and hanged myself.

  6. Nice Rack says:

    The last time I bowled was back in the day with Shawn. I bowled a 253 and I hadn’t bowled in over 3 years. If I hadn’t given it up at the age of 12 I think I could be a professional bowler (not that I would want to be). My mom used to bowl on a league, and they played cards with naked men on them. I bet you could get cards with naked women.

  7. mexi says:

    I would settle for cards with pictures of food on them.

  8. Phelps says:

    I have extra cards with naked women left over from when I was bowling. Seriously.

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