She-Humans

Friday night I didn’t go out and shoot pool. I stayed home and this chick I went to high school with came over. I didn’t know what exactly the deal was because she e-mailed me and said it would be good to hang out and talk for a while. This led me to believe that maybe she had some huge overriding issue that she wanted to get off her breasts because, as you know, sometimes people just need to talk. I was like cool. This person has always been one of my favourite people so I was like yeah come over.

She this chick comes over and I tell my daughter to show off some of her pictures. She showed off the best of a bag full of drawings and she also showed off many of her pictures she’s done on the computer. She was very glad to do so because her mother doesn’t approve of her art so she very rarely gets the attention that I think her art deserves. After that my daughter started playing episodes of Drawn Together on the computer and we all sat here and watched cartoons for like three hours. Apparently there was no overriding issue with the chick who came over so that was pretty much it, we sat there watching cartoons and laughing about all the funny stuff that happened in the 1980s.

Then yesterday I got a phone call from this OTHER chick I’ve known for a long time. This one called and was talking about how she went to some sort of relationship counseling with her dude and the therapist flat out told her that she was a co-dependant and that as such the type of person she is most attracted to is a sociopath. She said “Then I was like no shit, every man I’ve ever been with is a sociopath!” I was like “Sweeeeet! I’m a sociopath!” Then she says “Dude, you’re a CLASSIC sociopath!”

I don’t really think I’m a sociopath, but it was kind of nice to be referred to as “classic” (kind of like that time I was all proud to have an OUTSTANDING warrant). I usually like to be by myself but it was kind of nice hanging out with that chick on Friday. It kind of reminded me of being married except she didn’t take the cat and the bread-maker when she left. Maybe we will hang out again except I think we watched like every episode of Drawn Together. Next I’ll have to resurrect the old Southparks.

p.s. I spent about $30 buying a bunch of weird spices I never heard of before so I could make this recipe. INDIAN food goddammit, and it came out very good. The sauce that is produced from the chicken drippings and spices gets throwed on the rice which gives it that bizzare flourescent yellow color. I’m going to make this again and again. I bet Apu eats this all the time!

6 Responses to “She-Humans”

  1. Phelps says:

    My friend Jason (I don’t remember if you met him, the huge guy) makes curry all the time. He eats it over rice and fritos.

  2. HMT says:

    When the word “Classic” is thrown in there then you have nothing to do but sit back and adjust your crown so that the minions can see your eyes as you rule upon them.

    Kinda like people have lazily given Trivium the tag “Classic Metal,” although they’re just rehashed poop.

    be careful about what “classic” you are.

  3. Phelps says:

    I had to work today because Mexicans don’t know from MLK. I think Mexicans should be segregated out of our country until they start to appreciate MLK. We should acomplish this by putting pirhannas in the Rio Grande.

  4. mexi says:

    In an unprecedented display of self restraint, today I refrained from photoshopping a picture of MLK in bed with a white woman.

  5. faye says:

    1980’s….funny just saying that

  6. L says:

    ahhh.. but what happens when you know that you are a sociopath and then you figure out that other sociopaths are attracted to you? I know, don’t invite them in! make them sit on the porch in the hot sun! Then make them get you really drunk and then don’t score with them!… no matter how big their boobs are! apparently some sociopaths think they’re too good for the rest of us.

Leave a Response