News

In the news this week former President Gerald Ford had died. This is quite embarassing for me because until this story broke I had not been aware that he was still alive. I really need to brush up on current events.

In other news the Godfather of Soul, James Brown, is also dead. I could never understand what the fuck he was saying but he had some great music. I fondly remember him scaring the shit out of Ivan Drago when he sang “Livin’ in America” before Apollo Creed’s last fight. I lost $20 betting on that match. That’s the last time I bet against someone who’s already seen the movie before me.

Also, Allen Iverson scored 28 points and dished out 13 assists in a win for the Denver Nuggets. Damn the naysaying of the critics who say he can’t play team basketball, how can you know that since he’s never really had a team before now? Watching Iverson succed is almost as entertaining as watching Kobe Bryant fail for the third straight Christmas against the Miami Heat. I hate that guy!

This is my concluding sentence!

4 Responses to “News”

  1. Phelps says:

    You think you hate Kobe now? Try showing him to his hotel room!!!

  2. Mexigogue says:

    Haha! I wasn’t mad about that incident in Colorado. When an NBA player sexually assaults you you’re supposed to just walk it off. I just don’t like how he did Shaq. But the upside of that is that it motivated the Miami Heat to finally win a title.

  3. Phelps says:

    You aren’t mad because your sphincter is still water-tight. See how you feel after you show him how to work that little coffee-maker in the bathroom. Right next to the bidet.

  4. Mexigogue says:

    If Dirk Novitski rapes you you can always rattle him by chanting “David Hasselhoff!”

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