Dead Precedents

An activist federal judge has ruled that American money violates the law in regard to disabled people and has ordered the United States government to change its paper currency so that blind people can tell different denominations of bills apart. Some suggestions for changing paper money include embossing different denominations, punching holes in them, and using different sized paper. The Bush administration is appealing the decision saying that changing the way bills are printed will be too expensive and also maintained that the blind are not denied “meaningful access” to money because they can use debit cards. My opinion on this matter is fuck blind people. Seriously.

The NBA has announced that it’s going back to the traditional leather ball! For those who are unaware of the controversy, NBA Commisioner David Stern introduced a new synthetic material ball at the beginning of this season. The new ball was supposed to bounce more uniformly and would not change weight during the game (the leather balls absorb moisture from sweat and get heavier as the game progresses). The new ball has been denounced by many of the league’s players, including some of its biggest names. The fatal blow was when it was determined that the ball is too abrasive which has resulted in cuts on players’ hands. Thank God they’re going back to the traditional ball. Stop tinkering with the game Commisioner!

In other basketball news it has been announced that Allen Iverson will be involved in a three team trade involving the Philadelphia 76ers, the Indiana Pacers, and Team Rocket. Details to follow as the situation develops.

8 Responses to “Dead Precedents”

  1. Phelps says:

    Prepare for trouble.

  2. mexi says:

    and make it double!

    That’s what I like about Team Rocket, they always rhyme.  If I ever turn into an evil villian that’s what I’m gonna do!

  3. R says:

    You will be the gayest evil villain ever.

  4. mexi says:

    Bringing ties that bind and a knife to sever!

  5. My opinion on this matter is fuck basketball. Seriously.

  6. PETA wrote a letter complaining about the switch back to the leather ball damn hipies

  7. mexi says:

    Haha! I’m always on the opposite side of PETA, even when I’m not trying to be!

  8. Mario says:

    We should make basketballs out of PETA protesters.

Leave a Response