Homeless Hero

In the news a homeless New Mexico man saved a little girl’s life by helping to lift a Cadillac off of her after she was run over. This man was drinking in an alley along with a bunch of other transients when the accident happened and the bums immediately moved in to help. The news report says the man does not want to be referred to as a hero. What a heartwarming story. I bet they’re leaving out the part where after the girl was saved the transients immediately asked the little girl for spare change.

I heard the best line on “Mysteries of the Bible” yesterday. A bunch of Biblical scholars and scientists were discussing whether or not the Jewish Exodus was a historical fact or not. The scholars maintained that it was and some of the scientists said it wasn’t. The scholars were trying to interpret the scriptures every which-away in order to try and back up their point. One scientist responded by saying “The Bible is just like a person. If you torture it long enough you can get it to say anything you want.”

My daughter was looking up information on Attention Deficit Disorder, which she suspects she has. While discussing it with me I said “I probably have it too. My co-workers tell me I show all the symptoms. There may be a genetic component.” She looked it up and found there was a greater likelihood among ADD people to have relatives with the same disorder. My daughter immediately says “If I have it I blame you.” I respond “Blame me? You wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for me. You ought to be glad I could pay attention long enough to help create you in the first place!” Ha ha ha! There’s nothing like putting spin on a story!

Oh yeah. I’ve decided to write a scary novel. I can create characters without a problem. What I need now is a plot.

8 Responses to “Homeless Hero”

  1. Donkey Kong says:

    Bums is there any part of our society that they don’t enrich

  2. Phelps says:

    How old is your daughter? I’m going to mark my calendar. The more of a Daddy Complex you give her, the better for me!

  3. Mexigogue says:

    You can’t be with my daughter. She’s so much like me it would be just like doing me. And that would bring weirdness.

  4. Phelps says:

    If you had a vagina I would be trying to drag UNLV off of you for my turn!

  5. I can speak positively about number one..since I have been homeless and done, if not “heroic” deeds, been similarly “helpful.”

    #2 is true.

    #3: What’s this about your daughter? Shouldn’t you leave her off the Internet? I mean like um…er…you never know when someone like Phelps might come around and try to satisfy his inmasturbatability.

    You know how he is. (You should by now anyway.)

    Love,

    Citizen Quasar

  6. mexi says:

    If you had a vagina I would be trying to drag UNLV off of you for my turn!

    I’ll cross that off my cosmetic surgery to-get list then. Thanks for the heads up.

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