When I was in kindergarten our class got a visit one day from a nature lover. This woman brought with her a gardner snake which she assured us was not poisonous. In order to get us over our fear of snakes she took this creature out its box and started playing with it. Eventually I got over my trepidation and I too began playing with the snake. I even let it wrap itself around my arm and everyone was amazed. Its skin was cold and slithery, a sensation I would not feel again until I was married.

A few months later my family was visiting our second cousins on their farm outside of Leslie. They took us around to where they were walking the family’s horses when one of my cousins shouted “SNAKE!” I saw a snake slithering on the ground and everybody jumped away except me. “Don’t be afraid” I said. “It’s just a gardner snake.” I picked it up and started playing with it. It slithered around my arm a couple of times and then reared its head back with an evil hiss. Before anyone could do anything the snake sprang it’s head foward, sinking its venomous fangs right into my jugular. The damage was instant and irreversable. I died before the ambulance even arrived.

Just kidding. The above story was entirely true except it happened to actually be a gardner snake so nothing bad happened, lucky for me. Moral of the story: small children are retards and tend to over generalize so watch out what you teach them. The end.

16 Responses to “Snakes”

  1. Nice Rack says:

    It would have been a better story with a rattlesnake.

  2. mexi says:

    Yes, but then the name of this site would be called Corpsigogue

  3. mexi says:

    Who knows? You’re asking me to remember something from 1976. It may have been just a piece of green hose.

  4. Nice Rack says:

    That could be cool. You should write your blog from the vantage point of a dead person, since you already recreate the past by killing yourself off.

  5. Nice Rack says:

    Lol, 1976? I wasn’t even born yet.

  6. mexi says:

    I know, I was all mad waiting impatiently for you to be born.

  7. Nice Rack says:

    Since you didn’t meet me for like 30 years after your birth, I don’t think you were missing me too much. Now of course, you get separation anxiety from too many Fridays apart.

  8. mexi says:

    At least I don’t jump on the ground and grab your ankle when you’re walking out of the bar anymore!

  9. Nice Rack says:

    That’s true, though you do sometimes grip my wrist a little hard. Did I tell you the pool team on Monday’s is in 1st? We took all 4 again last night, so we just need to keep it up and hold it down for another 18 weeks or so.

  10. mexi says:

    That’s great. Do you still play on Tuesdays too?

  11. Nice Rack says:

    Yep, we are upper middle of the pack at the moment.

  12. mexi says:

    Rats. I was hoping to make you play me in pool today. Oh well…

  13. Nice Rack says:

    Sorry, I will be battling it out at the DD tonight. I hung out there last night for a bit, because I’m trying to convince a certain pool god to be my scotch doubles partner this year at state’s. We played a couple of matches and shoot well together. Fingers crossed I can get him to be my partner.

  14. mexi says:

    I had a bad feeling the very first time I ever went to that bar. It may have been the rubber bands I had accidently tied around my nuts but just to be on the safe side I don’t go there no more.

  15. Nice Rack says:

    I don’t mind it there, everyone is always really nice to me. They respect pool players up there, and a lot of guys compliment me on my game. Plus, it’s right around the corner from my house, so it’s convenient to drop off the pool money.

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