Heavenly Creatures

Ok. This weekend I saw this movie call Heavenly Creatures. I had never heard of it before but I read the info on it as I was scrolling through the guide info for the cable channels. It’s a movie based on a true story about two teenage girls, Pauline Parker and Juliet Hulme, who develop an intense attachment to each other and when their parents seek to keep them apart they concoct a plot to murder the ugly girl’s mother. I thought this is the movie for me, as it has everything I value in life, specifically lesbianism and murder.

I watched it and I discovered it was even better than I expected. These chicks had developed their own fantasy world where Orson Wells was supposed to be some sort of magical archangel. They regarded themselves as “heavenly creatures” who were not bound by the normal constraints of law and they professed the belief that when they died they would gain entrance to “The Fourth World” which Juliet described as “better than heaven because it doesn’t have any Christians.” I’m intrigued by this idea and wish to subscribe to their newsletter.

The online articles about the real life case say that the parents suspected that the girls were involved with each other sexually but Juliet (who has since become a published novelist) has disclaimed any sexual activity though acknowleges that their relationship was obsessive. The movie hinted at a physical relationship between the two, showing them kiss on the lips seven times, showed them bathing together in at least two scenes and showed them sleeping in each others arms in another.

The best part of the movie was the murder itself which was accomplished with a brick tied into a stocking being used as a cudgel. I don’t normally advocate murder but if you absolutely gotta do it then a brick tied into a stocking is the way to go. It took more than 40 blows with that weapon to kill the old bitch off and then the girls ran screaming back home and tried to represent that the woman died as the result of a fall. Yeah, she fell 47 times into a stocking with a brick tied into it. The police found the girls’ letters to each other and a diary describing the plot and after that the conviction was merely academic.

The saddest parts of the movie were when the girls were trying to prevent their impending separation (Juliet was being moved to Africa to help her tuberculosis) and they screamed, professed their love for each other, and stopped speaking to their parents entirely. After they were convicted they each spent five years in prison and were ultimately released on the condition that they never contact each other again. What a gyp, they never got to the carpet munching which means the old hag died for nothing. I recommend the movie though if you like stories about psycho bitches (which I do). The end!

20 Responses to “Heavenly Creatures”

  1. Nice Rack says:

    That does sound like the perfect movie for you

  2. No carpet munching? Did you get your money back

  3. Nice Rack says:

    My dog licks the carpet on occasion, would you pay money to see that Mexi?

  4. mexi says:

    Are you talking about the literal carpet or is it some trick involving peanut butter?

  5. Nice Rack says:

    The literal carpet, without peanut butter. Sometimes she just starts licking, and we haven’t figured out why yet.

  6. mexi says:

    Oh. I don’t need to see that.

  7. mexi says:

    brb. I’m finna go vote!

  8. Phelps says:

    Are you voting Democrat? If you are, I’m supposed to intimidate you into not voting.

    So if you are, GRRRRRRRRR! If not, carry on.

  9. mexi says:

    Haha. I voted for Dick Devos, FOR proposal 2 which would ban affirmative action, and FOR the proposal that would prevent the gumint from eminenting your domain willy nilly. Oh and I voted against Debbie Stab-us-all. Weeeee!

  10. Nice Rack says:

    I don’t like DeVos. He wants to completely integrate special needs children into regular classrooms, which would cut all jobs with RESD, and not help with students who are already falling behind because classrooms are overloaded as it is. Plus, he’s anti-abortion, and I don’t believe that any man has a right to tell me what I can and can’t do with my body. Do we really want to go back to the days where women abort themselves with wire coathangers?

  11. mexi says:

    Even if Roe v Wade was overturned that would leave the abortion issue up to the individual states. And since the governor does not make legislation it really wouldn’t matter if Michigan’s governor was against abortion or not, it would be up to the state legislators. So as far as that goes his position is a non-issue. But to answer your question directly, yes I like wirehanger abortions. They’re funny to me!

  12. Nice Rack says:

    I believe in Pro-Life for myself, but I am Pro-Choice for everyone else. Does that make any sense at all?

  13. mexi says:

    It absolutely does. You can hold one standard yourself while acknowledging that you don’t have to impose that standard on everybody else. And I’m exactly the same on that issue.

  14. Nice Rack says:

    But I also believe that all politicians are idiots, so I have a hard time deciding who to vote for, because no one follows through with what they say anyway.

  15. Phelps says:

    You seem to hold the same view on it I do. I think it is an abomination, an evil act, and mortal sin. I still don’t want to see anyone thrown in jail for it.

    Countermanding Roe v Wade would be the best thing. Individual states might ban abortion, but you would never be more than a short road trip from a clinic.

  16. Phelps says:

    And I think wirehanger abortions are terrible. Why waste a hanger when you can use stairs over and over?

  17. Nice Rack says:

    I think in this day and age, with the amount of drugs that are available, making abortion illegal would lead to a lot of chemical overdoses as women try to abort that way. I don’t think they should overturn Roe v Wade, having a government mandate gives state goverment more control over the abortion issue. If that ruling is ever overturned, I think state governments are going to waiver, and riots will definitely break out.

  18. Nice Rack says:

    And my God, Phelps and I agree on something!

  19. Phelps says:

    I don’t see any reason why riots would break out over abortion when other issues (like communism) are handled without them. The gun control issue is even more heated, but no one has gone shooting up state legislatures yet.

    Roe v Wade makes things worse, in that it disenfranchises the moral absolutists who campaign against it. It is one thing to lose an election; it is another to simply have someone proclaim something a certain way. The fact that there is no talk of a constitutional amendment means that prohibition doesn’t really have legs. Some places may ban it, but most places won’t. A lot of places will place restrictions on it (methods and timing) but I don’t see a blanket prohibition happening in even 20 states, much less all 50.

Leave a Response