Political Ads

I’m voting against every candidate who called me with a recorded message. Seriously, that is fucked up. You want to waste my time with some canned platitudes and you don’t even have the common decency to have a real live person on the other end for me to cuss out for interrupting my evening meal? That’s just shabby.

A few weeks ago I was approached downtown by a manequin-looking woman with a microphone. It was a news-woman from channel six complete with her cameraman in tow. She asked if she could talk to me for a minute. I said “About what?” She said “We’d like to know what you think about all the campaign ads on television.” I said “I don’t watch television” and hurried away. I absolutely did NOT want to be on TV. It’s not that I’m scared of the exposure (I am exposing myself even as we speak). It’s just that I think that she probably saw me and said “Here comes Joe Six pack, let’s get his opinion for the evening news.” I will not be your slack-jawed man in the street for all the bufoons in TV-land.

Debbie Stabenow has an ad that says she’s going to fight for economic fairness by preventing outsourcing. Fighting for fairness sounds great, until you realize that this is supposed to be accomplished by using the big stick of government to further restrict free trade (they hate your freedom). One billion screaming Chinese are making inroads to capitalism while we rush headlong into Maoism. Let’s see how this plays out.

Oh yeah, the conference went great. Except the girl I lost my cue stick to in a bet at the last conference showed up again this year and she brought my old cue stick! THAT was really odd, kind of like when you abandon a newborn in a dumpster and you think it’s long gone but a year later it shows up on your front doorstep and just looks at you. I know you all can relate.

That’s pretty much it. I’m going to the polls tomorrow to vote against whichever candidates are more governmenty and especially against the ones who harassed me with phone call recordings. If I was running for office my entire campaign would be based on the fact that I wouldn’t bother people on their phones. I would win by a landslide. Then I would thank all my constituents via phone call recordings.

25 Responses to “Political Ads”

  1. Jenn says:

    You’re a politic whore.

  2. Citizen Quasar says:

    I wish they did on-the-street interviews in Oklahoma City. Here, the TV media takes great care NOT to ask Joe Sixpack anything.

    I am on the state’s no-call list, filed with the attorney general’s office. Politician’s are exempt from this so long as they identify themselves and provide a contact phone number. I have received something like a million and a half automated political messages on my answering machine.

    I called each one. My message was simple: “Do you get annoyed by spam in your email box?” Every time the answer was “Yes.” I would then proceed to say how I am on the no call list. I would continue explaining that politicians are inconsiderate of my wishes by NOT cross-indexing their call lists with the no-call list.

    Continuing: Any politician that does not take into consideration that I have taken every step that I can so that they won’t call me, and yet calls me to blah-blah and ask me for their vote, cares NOT what my opinions are, considers me too stupid to find the facts and make up my own mind, and certainly will not give a fuck about me after the election.

    I then point out that there messages are nothing more than phone spam from some fucktarded “political” telemarketer and please DO NOT CALL ME AGAIN. “You lost my vote by calling me.” Everyone then told me not to call them again.

    Besides, both political parties are controlled by the same high-finance crooks and use their elected offices to further enslave us.

    Also, with electronic voting, the results are tampered with to bring about the establishment’s desired outcome. Mexico recently found this out, went to open rebellion, and had thousands of its citizens gunned down by the military. I predict that will eventually happen here.

    And…The SlaveMart camps in China do NOT constitute capitalistic institutions. A bullet in the back of the head for refusing to work so cheaply is NOT a free market mechanism.

  3. Phelps says:

    I just realized that this clip would be the best way to make up with Rack, by showing her how the other treehouse makes up after that have a spat.

    So come over here and let me give you a hug, Rack.

  4. mexi says:

    Nice Rack just got out of the hospital (I hope she doesn’t mind my saying that). She’s going to be ok but she’s been on down time for that reason as she normally accesses the blog from work. Hopefully she’ll be back up and running again!

  5. Pentagod says:

    I can’t seem to get to the makeup clip…

  6. Nice Rack says:

    Mexi was afraid that I might die, I just spent 4 days in the hospital last week. I’m sure no one but Phelps missed me anyway. Noted for life, the difference between nasty and NAAASSSTY (or however you emphasized), I was really worried about you until you clarified. Thanks for that.

  7. Mexigogue says:

    I advised Nice Rack that if she dies I will dig her up and make out with her corpse. So she got better.

  8. Phelps says:

    She really ought to let you at least feel her up after she’s dead. It’s not like it is going to keep her out of heaven or something.

  9. mexi says:

    Hey Phelpsinator, that link doesn’t work for me either. How can it be gotten to work? I got that clip from the .info site and I tried to load it onto an angelfire site but it kept timing out. If nothing else it will probably work if I convert it to an mp3 and try to put it there.

  10. Nice Rack says:

    He felt my ass a few weeks ago, I let him touch me to make an old pervert go away.

  11. mexi says:

    Sweeeeet! And I avoided liquor that night so I wouldn’t drink that memory away! 😀

  12. Nice Rack says:

    Well, I’m glad you still have that memory.

  13. Phelps says:

    Fixed it. wma, not wmv.

  14. Jenn says:

    Nice Rack, you’re my hero.

  15. Nice Rack says:

    Jenn, what did I ever do to be your hero? I’m just a normal, sometimes bitchy female.

  16. mexi says:

    Any white girl who can do karaoke in a predominantly black bar and change the opening lyrics of “Baby Got Back” to “I got no butt and I cannot lie” has got to be SOMEBODY’S hero.

  17. You is that John Mangopalis guy still around

  18. mexi says:

    I hope so. I voted for him last time just to be funny.

  19. Nice Rack says:

    That is true, I always have that to go on my headstone when I die.

  20. Phelps says:

    Dude, I just caught this — how can you NOT vote for a chick with Stab and NOW in her name? It’s like she was made for your vote.

  21. Nice Rack says:

    Mexi, where are you?

  22. mexi says:

    I’m at home. The Governor gave the state workers the day off so we could all vote.

  23. Nice Rack says:

    So do something interesting for us peons who still have to work today

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