Phenomenon

The eighth of a mile strip ranging from Walnut to Princeton on West Saginaw in Lansing has more stranded people per capita than any other place in the industrialized world. This guy stopped me the other day. “Hey man, can you help me out, I’m from Detroit and I’m stranded. Anything, a dollar or two?” Two women stopped me Saturday morning when I was was walking with my 11 year old son: “Sir? Sir? We’re stranded, can we get just a couple dollars?” I hate to see people in need so I started walking faster. It isn’t just this past week, this happens in that area all the time.

What are the chances, what is the likelihood of such a conglomeration of stranded people regularly coming together in one spot? Being as I’m a natural skeptic, I couldn’t chalk it up entirely to chance. That’s when I began noticing a pattern: the liquor stores.

The corner of Pine and Saginaw is a hubbub of activity for beer runs, Quality Dairy on one corner, the ghetto chicken Citgo diagonally across also sells beer. Princeton and Saginaw is home to Toolins, where you can get not only liquor, cigarettes, and lottery tickets, but you can also get pork in a can caked in gellatin just like The Man intended. But who is this Man, and why are these areas frequented by stranded people in search for that ever-elusive tree fiddy? Then the answer hit me: it’s the Masons!

It is my theory that the reason cars keep breaking down over here (and they must be hella broke down because I always see stranded people but never their cars that time and reality have abandoned) is because these areas are home to some disruptive magnetic fields. Back in the days before LBJ’s Great Society cars used to run with only basic automotive technology so magnetic fields wouldn’t be an issue. But now when cars are largely computerized these magnetic fields will cause cars to suddenly break down. And who but a secret fraternal order such as the Masons would be smart enough to know both where the magnetic fields are and that it would be advantageous to build liquor stores there? Because when people get stranded they lose the ability to get anywhere. And then they get depressed so they naturally will turn to liquor.

At this point this is just a theory but my trip down that way last night seems to have confirmed my suspicions. Last night same area, same lady, still looking for that same dollar. If she’s still there a whole day later then she really is stranded. A captive audience has been created, The Man strikes again!

11 Responses to “Phenomenon”

  1. guy in the UNLV Jacket says:

    I like your ideas. You know the masons are involved because Quality Dairy and Toolins are both made of brick

  2. Phelps says:

    Dude, it’s not masons, is the Reptilian Zionists who want you to think it is masons. Ask CQ, he can explain it.

  3. guy in the UNLV Jacket says:

    False flag operation. Perfect!

  4. mexi says:

    Whoever he is The Man is turning west siders into hoboes. And they don’t even have the common courtesy to carry their belongings in a knapsack tried to the end of a stick.

  5. Citizen Quasar says:

    Phelps:

    It is NOT the Reptilian Zionists. I have told you before that it is the Bilderbergers, the Council on Foreign Relations (an adjunct of the Royal Institute of International Affairs), and the Trilateral Commission.

    YOU get the Trans-Texas Corridor out of the deal. (At least that is what was on Alex Jones today in Austin.) Enjoy!

    Mexi:

    “Teh Man� is that guy on The X-Files that smoked the cigarettes.

    UNLV:

    They’re coming for your money. Watch out.

  6. Phelps says:

    I am aware of the planned boondoggle. I am also aware that they haven’t done anything but horde money and make fancy interactive websites.

  7. R says:

    It’s the fuckin’ Greys, man. Alien motherfuckers who have a deal with the Illuminati. They own the magnetic field controller devices.

  8. Citizen Quasar says:

    Yes, R, I agree. The magnetic devices are located on poles disguised as power and light utilities.

    Mexigogue appears to have stumbled upon some near a liquor store. Perhaps there are crack houses in that neighborhood too. What was he doing there?

    It must all be part of the master plan.

  9. mexi says:

    I went there to ask for directions for how get AWAY from there!

  10. Hill-Air-E-US…

    Hmmm…you know…that would be probably why “Dontho {sp}” is constantly stopping people and asking them for rides. Would this mean that the first sighting of this character was in that area during our childhood…could his moving above me have set off the natrual and untimely balance in the universe…who knows…but if he asked me for a ride one more time…

    “Crazy main slain by fat man….film at elven!”

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