People rip on the quality of public education all the time.  I say it’s like shooting pool with a bar stick:  the opportunity is there, if you work with what you got you will see there’s a lot to be gained from it.  With that, kudos to:

My 8th grade English teacher (Pattengill Junior High School) Mrs. Padden.  She ran her class with all the decorum of a gulag (I suspect her hair bun was wound about five twists too tight) but the fear she instilled in us students produced total silence, an ideal environment to learn the art of diagramming sentences.  Also props to:

My ninth grade American History teacher Mr. Puma (Lansing Eastern High School).  This Vietnam vet also tooks discipline to the extreme (on the first day of class he told us he would kick us out for any breach of anything, wasn’t afraid to confront us or our parents, and he challenged us to kill him and said even if we succeeded he would still win because we would do prison time). 

Mr. Puma’s faithful rendering of American history left the whitewash at the door.  He described in detail how the settlers hoodwinked the Indians, how when the Marines sing about battling at the halls of Montezuma they were in fact fighting children in a Mexican military academy, and that at the very moment Thomas Jefferson penned the phrase “all men are created equal” he in fact owned slaves and was getting all up in Sally Hemings, a slave at Monticello.  Thus we learned that American history is more than just about old white guys in wigs and tights, it was about the fact that the Founding Fathers not only birthed the first manifestations of human rights amid the squalor of oppression, they were also at the selfsame moment probably humming the melody to Destiny’s Child’s Bootylicious song during the nightly excursions to slave row.  Also,:

Two thumbs up to my 9th grade English Lit teacher Mr. Edwards for bringing Edgar Allen Poe back from the dead and hipping us to the fact that:

a) the work that Poe is most famous for, The Raven, is widely regarded as literary tripe, and;

b) Poe’s genius was due in part to the fact that he lived a tortured existence which gave him a lot of great material for which to blog. . .  I mean write, and that he died penniless in the street, hooked on heroin, and his last words were “Dear God have mercy on my soul!” Always the melodramatic! and;

c) Although Mr. Edwards was an avowed atheist, he also said that the book of Ecclesiastes (in the Old Testement) was a kick ass read and he advised us all to read it if we wanted to experience good literature.

Also a shout out to Mrs. Monk (San Angelo Central High School) who first had the temerity to accuse me of plagiarism on one of my essays (claiming I had copied directly from my source as the writing was too good) and then having the integrity to apologize after I stayed after class and (challenging her to give me any subject off the top of her head) sat down and wrote another essay before her in exactly the same style.  She was also good.  Not to mention pretty hot for a forty year old chick.  I would have done her but on second thought the math would dictate that she would be about 60 now and that ooks me so never mind.  Delete!

I don’t remember who taught me geometry.  I think it was Rever on the pool table at Leroy’s.  Technically he’s not a teacher so that doesn’t count.  Never mind.  Somebody else taught me geometry in high school and those proofs taught me how to devise an argument (and attack argument) in debate so whoever taught me math kicks ass as well.

Oh yeah and at Lansing Community College (laugh and I’ll fucking kill you) Bezhad Ghassemi (and others) taught me a lot of shit about law that comes in handy.  And while most of the learning I have I got from books on my own, I credit these aforementioned motherfuckers for helping to equip me with the tools I would use to begin learning on my own.  An apple to each of them!!!

19 Responses to “Teachers”

  1. guy in the UNLV Jacket says:

    Gotta respect any man who challenges a classroom full of 9th graders to kill him…..

  2. R says:

    Poe was the first emo.

  3. L says:

    Id like to thank Cosgrove for giving me coping skillz (picking me up and launching me into the pool- “look, see you’re swimming”)

    Collins for the art (never saying anything when id show up toaked after lunch to draw nekkid people having sex)

    And both Mr. Hunter and Coach Merley for being interested enough in me to remember who I was after graduation so they could ask me out on dates.

  4. L says:

    Not to mention that in some respects public schools are safer. If some reject kid came in and started shooting people at JW when I went there, he may have gotten of 4 or 5 rounds before someone else realized what was going on and just capped his ass and been a hero.

  5. Mexigogue says:

    Oh yeah, you went to Sexton. I almost kicked it with Dr. Carnegie’s daughter Sheridan. But then Kim found out and she stole the phone number from me. And she was all like “And I don’t know why you want it, Sheraton is a hoe!” And I’m like haha, it’s Sheridan, she’s not a hotel you n00b!”

  6. L says:

    “And I don’t know why you want it, Sheraton is a hoe!�

    Does she always answer her own questions?

  7. Mexigogue says:

    You know that’s a damn good point. If chicks would switch up and say “I heard that she is very religious which makes her sexually repressed and plagued with guilt and she thinks oral sex is a direct ticket to hell” that might have a little more bang for the buck.

  8. L says:

    thats what i would have said. chicks need to quit being dumb and get the upper hand and learn strategic manipulation.

  9. guy in the UNLV Jacket says:

    Carnige’s daughter was Ramada not Sheraton or was that Super8. Aw hell I can’t remember…. Her name was Allison and she was a ho fo sho

  10. Mexigogue says:

    I think he had more than one daughter. The one I speak of was a year or two younger than me I think.

  11. guy in the UNLV Jacket says:

    You are thinking of motel6

  12. HMT says:

    There once was a prized scholar, knower of all worldly arts and knowledge. One day he commissioned a trip across a wide lake to make a presentation of his most new ideas to royalty.

    During the entire trip over the scholar spoke tirelessly of his vast knowledge to the boat operator. Then the boat operator asked him, “During your gathering of such worldly knowledge, did you learn how to swim?”

    “why no, I did not”

    “Then I am afraid all of your knowledge is to waste. There is a hole in the boat and we are sinking”

    they both died.

  13. Mexigogue says:

    HAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA!!! YES!! I know that story wasn’t really meant to be funny, there is a hidden message of wisdom in there and I’ll figure that out later but for right now HAHAHHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAAAA!! OMG!!!

  14. Phelps says:

    I think the moral of the story is don’t fuck with a boat operator until you are ready to get off the boat. Just like how you don’t give a waiter shit until you have already paid the bill and eaten all your food.

  15. Vee says:

    I’m getting a lot of shit right now for taking my son out of parochial school. He’ll be attending the new magnet school this fall and I couldn’t be happier. Code had a problem with religion and I respected his views on the subject and didn’t want to send him to a parochial school if it wasn’t what he really wanted.

    I couldn’t believe the comments I got from other parents. I think they have their kids there to keep them away from minorities and that’s not what I’m about. I put him in a private school because the public schools around here suck. The local public school system finally got a clue and opened an advanced learning school that required kids to test into it. I couldn’t sign Code up fast enough.

    I also was told I’m doing my son a “disservice” by telling him the TRUE version of history and not the white washed one.

  16. Vee says:

    In addition to my previous comment. I love when people make racial comments to me because they think I’m “just like them”. I love to mention that I’m mexican after one of their comments. Do you know someone actually responded with “Oh, that’s alright though”. Um, that’s alright? Thanks for validating my heritage that way jackass!

  17. mexi says:

    Unfortunately attitudes like that are way too common. That’s mostly the reason my name on the blog begins with “mexi”. I didn’t want to have it be something nebulous and have some people presume I was a WASP and start tossing around racial slurs thinking I would be down with it. So to speak.

  18. Faye says:

    catching up and late…but Mrs Padden was very scary, when my friend died (during school) and they announced it on the intercom, she did not allow any crying or outbursts in her class!…Mr Puma (had a crush on him) he softened up by the time I got to him, and Mr Edwards is still my favorite pervert in town!

  19. Shelia says:

    I had the same teachers that you had in Eastern and feel the same way. I was just thinking about Me Puma. He forced me to get my act together. He made me bring him my report card because he knew I could do better. And I did. 🙂

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