German Beer and Old People

german beer

Sunday got the Bitburger in. Good stuff. I’m gonna have to keep going back to the international market until I’ve sampled all their German beers. Wouldn’t want to miss out on the right one.

I was just at the pharmacy to pick up an after-lunch energy drink. There was only one person ahead of me in line, an old lady. Do you think things went fast because it was only one person? NO! Things went really SLOW because the witch was OLD which equals out to she’s either unaware or doesn’t CARE that there is another human being in line there who actually knows what he wants, she’s gonna take ALL FUCKING DAY! As if at seventy she has all kinds of time to kill:

lady: Do you have anything for a headache? I have a headache and I need to get rid of it.

cashier: We have Allieve. Have you tried that, it’s pretty good and you should just have to take one all day.

lady: Oh I know but do you know what that stuff does to all your other organs? It’s exchanging one problem for another.

me: (thinking) Then just keep the fucking headache lady, Jesus Christ.

lady: I already stopped taking my blood pressure medication. They said if I don’t take it I’ll die but it was making my sight blurry.

me: (thinking) then fucking die already lady, I need to buy a beverage.

More blah blah blah blah blah. I have never wanted to body check a geriatric right into the trial size displays so much in my LIFE! Old people piss me off. And they should piss YOU off too. Because that would make me feel better. If they keep it up I’m going to circulate a petition to raise the price of dog food. THEN we’ll see those old people losing their nice shiny coats, HAHA!!

9 Responses to “German Beer and Old People”

  1. Citizen Quasar says:

    When I head for a cashier with ANYBODY in line I say, “And NOW for the dreaded checkout.” and everyone looks at me funny.

    Did the bitch fumble in her purse for her coin bag and count out the exact amount? I HATE it when they do that. Just give the cashier a bill and throw the change in you pocket and then GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE WAY!

  2. mexi says:

    She didn’t think to even get her purse off her shoulder until she had been told how much the total amount was. What, was she unaware that there was going to be a point where the cashier asked for MONEY??? I mean COME ON! I mean there’s slow and there’s slow but at that point I think she was just showboating.

  3. Nice Rack says:

    Some day your mother will be one of those old people, and then next thing you know, you will be too. Respect your elders Mexi! I respect you.

  4. mexi says:

    Yeah. You SAY you respect me but then you totally don’t let me sniff your fingers after you sing “I Touch Myelf”. What’s up wit dat???

  5. Nice Rack says:

    I got my mortgage approval!!!!! I’m putting an offer in on the house I showed you. I’m finally a grown up.

  6. mexi says:

    SWEEEEEET! HERE COMES THE NEIGHBORHOOD!!!!!

  7. Phelps says:

    Hey, old lady, the medication isn’t making your vision blurry. Being old is making your vision blurry. Take your meds, old woman.

    (Which is almost exactly what I told my grandmother. Then she knocked one of my molars out. ‘I just don’t know what’s wrong with me.’ You’re SEVENTY TWO. That’s what’s wrong. I got the last laugh. I outlived her.)

  8. Mexigogue says:

    Hey that’s an inspiring idea. I’m going to overturn my self-imposed ban on going to family funerals. Now I’m going to go while holding a sign that says OMG LMFAO!!!

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