When I was in the fourth grade at Post Oak Elementary my teacher, Mrs. Wilcox, had a setup where we students were awarded stars for things such as good attendance, grades, etc. and at periodic intervals we were allowed to cash these stars in at an in class “store” of prizes. The better prizes cost more stars so at the same time we had good behavior rewarded with positive reenforcement we were also learning the value of budgeting our stars. All the girls were cashing their stars in for girlie things but I didn’t see very much in the display that was geared towards dudes. It was at the end of the prescribed shopping period and with these stars that were burning a hole in my pocket that I finally settled on something that caught my interest: a lucky rabbit’s foot.

The rabbit’s foot was, as described, the actual foot of a rabbit which was preserved in some fashion so that it wouldn’t decompose. It was hooked up to a ring so that it could be used as a keychain. I was told by the teacher’s aid who sold it to me that this rabbit’s foot would bring me good luck, an idea which intrigued me. The other distinctive thing about this rabbit’s foot was that the fur was light blue.

Upon the purchase I examined this rabbit’s foot, trying to make heads or tails of the claim of its majestic powers. Was it indeed possible that an inanimate object of this sort could exert a mystical force that would bring me luck? The adult who sold it to me had said so but I had to weigh that against the fact that adults, from my experience, would often lie about things, claiming that Santa Clause and the Easter Bunny were real while also claiming that Captain Stabbin’ was not. It was in the name of these benevolent lies that they thought were bring children joy that I could not trust their words about this rabbit’s foot so figured I would have to decide for myself. Once again I looked at the foot.

It was a real fucking foot. Turning the thing over in my hand I felt vaguely guilty in that I had spent my stars to purchase a body part of an actual living creature. There was no way for me to know if it had been killed specifically for its feet or if there was some other cause and the foot harvesting was only a by-product (which would have mitigated my feelings of guilt). What kind of people would kill rabbits? Were there such things as light blue rabbits or had something else been used to make it this color? Were there people who actually eat rabbits? (the answer to the above questions are rednecks, blue dye, and rednecks).

In examing the question of the possible existence of mystical luck in the rabbit’s foot, one thing ultimately slammed the door on this for me. That fact was that the rabbit had four of those motherfuckers and his luck was still such that I ended up holding his amputated foot in my hand for the purposes of using it as a keyring. Call that what you will but I don’t call it lucky.

And that was the end of my fascination with that particular form of mysticism.

8 Responses to “Luck”

  1. Phelps says:

    When I first started reading your questions, I went “OOH! OHH! ME! ME!”

  2. mexi says:

    I’ve always wanted to try rabbit. There is some dude from Arkansas who goes to Leroy’s and he got a bunch of people to try squirrel. They really liked it.

  3. guy in the UNLV Jacket says:

    You should have saved up enought start for a lucky monkey’s paw

  4. Citizen Quasar says:

    It tastes like chicken. Everything that people don’t eat very often tastes like chicken.

  5. Phelps says:

    Rabbit is better than squirrel. And squirrel is better than possum. Rattlesnake is pretty good, but alligator is better. (Just like snake, only more meat and less bones.)

  6. L says:

    Wow, all that in the fourth grade. I guess maybe I should consider removing the strip of lucky pantleg that I superglued around my wrist back in October.
    I always thought that the rabbit had so much bad luck (getting caught for whatever, killed, and having its feet cut off etc.) that the rabbit was due a lot of good luck in the natural balance of things. Who ever had part of the rabbit might get the good luck by proxy. I checked it out though and the only lucky rabbits feet are those that are removed from shapeshifting witches while in rabbit form. Rabbit does taste better than squirrel.

  7. HMT says:

    I had the ol’ rabbit’s foot keychair too, except mine was green. I’ve never seen a green rabbit before, at least prior to beers getting in.

    it was some cool thing to me, so I see no problem with it.

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