Tiny House, Itty-Bitty Restaurant

At the request of Linny here is a religious post:

Goddamit, I accidently wore my shirt on inside out to work today. That makes twice in the past six months.

In the news some Katrina refugee won $25,000 on an Oklahoma scratch off ticket. That’s not the good part though. The good part is the guy says he wants to use the money to buy a restaurant. His wife says no, they can buy a house first and get a restaurant later. On $25,000??? Yeah, IN 1920 MAYBE!!! If they really want to dream big I say they use that money to buy the world’s most giant hat so they can pass it around and ask for handouts because they are a LONG way from restaurant and house money. But seriously. Those silly refugees and their meager understanding!

I had this hellafied dream last night about Sonya Blair who I knew in high school. Good God Almighty (see, it’s a religious post)! That is one fine chick if I’m still dreaming about her 21 years after freshman year Mrs. Sage’s class first hour 3rd floor right side of the classroom. I still remember that rose I sent her anonymously for sweetest day. I am reminded of the scene in Napoleon Dynamite where Pedro builds a cake for Summer Wheatly, leaves it on her porch, rings the doorbell and takes off running. I am fucking smoothe!

One thing I don’t miss about high school was all the stupid acronyms. Mystifying stuff written at the bottom of letters like TTYL (talk to you later), SSS (sorry so sloppy), WBS (write back soon), and XOXOXOXOX (apparantly some weird football play). Good thing I don’t have to deal with stupid code like some stupid n00b anymore because OMFG that is the LOL pwn3d!!!

I also remember the end of freshman year when I was trying to work up the nerve to get Sonya to sign my yearbook. It took like all fucking day of talking myself into it and finally I just walked up to her and shoved the yearbook and pen in her face and asked for her autograph. She laughed like some famous supermodel and took a long time writing something in there. This was unexpected, I only was hoping for her name. When she finally gave it back I threw the book open and it said:

Hey Michael nice being classmates with you class of ’88 stay sweet!

Oh great, I thought. She thinks I’m a fruit.

Ahh the ninth grade. Those were the best two years of my life! I can say with pride that I never once went to any stupid proms or school dances or anything like that. That’s too conformist for me which you might think would mean that I’m supposed to be a goth but they conform too much in their own non conformist way. No, I was not a jock, a preppy, a goth, a burnout, a geek, or even the class clown. I was the person who didn’t go along with the crowd. Fast forward 21 years and I’m the guy showing up to work with his shirt on inside-out.

Goddamit.

26 Responses to “Tiny House, Itty-Bitty Restaurant”

  1. HMT says:

    fuck that, the katrina victim should buy the world’s largest guitar and work the boardwalk at venice! Millions in no time!

    Oh Sonya Blair… I’m sure you’ve googled her by now, any luck on her whereabouts?

    Around Christmas time we should all find a way to be at the same place… and then repeat that each year. Detroit, Texas, Phoenix, San Diego, Omaha (come on Rae, fuck that place), and the like.

    It can be done with gumption

  2. Linny says:

    that was soooo not religious!!!

    funny thing is… I was also a “non-conformist” didn’t really fit any particular mold as I was a burnout, dated (and eventually married) homecoming king – jock, best friends with a cheerleader and had one of the highest gpa’s in school… and… 3 days ago… I wore my shirt inside out to work!!! (not lying… I actually did)

    I think you are me with a penis!!!

    as for religion… I guess I’ll save it for a rant on my own blog.

  3. Mexigogue says:

    That was so religious. I said both Goddammit and good God amighty.

    No luck googling. Sonya’s last name is something else now. Oh well.

  4. guy in the UNLV jacket says:

    If I ever win $25,000 I’m going to quit my job, buy a mansion and blow the money on drugs and hookers

  5. Mexigogue says:

    That’s more like it.

    Hey y’all, The “D” finally posted. It’s a ridiculous read!

  6. HMT says:

    If I ever win $25,000, I’m investing in Reality Television. That genre’s going straight to the top!

  7. HMT says:

    If I ever win $25,000, I’m investing in Reality Television. That genre’s going straight to the top!

  8. Citizen Quasar says:

    Speaking of religion, it is the religious kooks in Oklahoma who loathe the lottery. The main state legislator who was against it got on TV the other night and said that Oklahomans will eventually see the sinfulness and corruption in it and repeal their own popular vote.

    I bought a Lucky 7 lotto scratch-off for a dollar yesterday and won 2$. The TV news said that the winning ticket for the $340,000,000 powerball was sold in Oregon. That’s what I want to win.

    With that much money, I would go down to the homeless shelter and give every man-jack one of them $1,000 just before chapel and watch them all scatter and head for the crack house. Then my helicopter would land in the parking lot, pick me up, and fly me out of Oklahoma.

  9. guy in the UNLV jacket says:

    Top of the trash heap

  10. Linny says:

    If I won $25,000.00 I would donate it all to the helpless little doggies and kitty cats that are homeless in the world and with the money left over, I’d donate it to all the orphanages so that all the little children could have a christmas and with the remaining amount I’d give to our war veterans…

    listening God?

  11. god says:

    Yes Linny, Listening I am and do what you say, you better do

  12. Satan says:

    Linny, I’m listening too, and your plan sounds gay.

  13. Mexigogue says:

    God sound like Yoda.

  14. god says:

    sounds like god, yoda does, not the otherway around bitch

  15. Linny says:

    wow… I need to go out and rent Star Wars AND The Passion of Christ just to understand all ya’ll

  16. Cosmic Siren says:

    I have several religious friends who don’t have a problem with lotteries. I honestly don’t care what other people do with their money. I don’t play because I know the odds and I would rather get a KFC snacker for my buck.

  17. Mexigogue says:

    I really liked The Passion of Christ the first time I watched it but it wasn’t nearly as funny the second time around. I did like hearing Aramaic spoken as it was cool that I could pick up some of the words from my small knowledge of Arabic.

  18. guy in the UNLV jacket says:

    I didn’t know you were black Cosmic

  19. Phelps says:

    I had a hard time explaining to my mother why the prettiest girl in junior high wrote “If you ever grab my ass again I will kill you” in my JH yearbook.

    I don’t think I convinced her it was a joke.

  20. Phelps says:

    Dave Chappell has it right on that one. “Where are these people who don’t like fried chicken and watermelon? If you don’t like fried chicken and watermelon, there’s something wrong with YOU, not me!”

    I love fried chicken. And watermelon.

    And what about people who aren’t black that drink malt liquor?

  21. Mexigogue says:

    I can explain that: it was, ummmm.. . the days of gangsta rap. Or something.

  22. guy in the UNLV jacket says:

    I used to have a Mexican roomate that used to drink alot of Malt Liquor. His old lady asked him bout all of the empty Colt .45 bottles. He said those are UNLV’s not mine. I wonder who he blamed for the empty Budweiser bottles.

  23. Mexigogue says:

    That UNLV sure must have been one hard drinker. While the Mexigogue just sat there. . . reading books? HAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!!

  24. Peggy says:

    Hey, you going to start a request line now? Like the fifth or seventh person to comment gets to request a post on a subject of their choice?

  25. Mexigogue says:

    Do I look like a disc jockey???

  26. Phelps says:

    Actually, yeah.