On The Front Lines

insurgent#1: I don’t have the heart for this anymore. This isn’t working, we’re spinning our wheels for no reason, all is lost. I’m going to quit.

insurgent#2: If you quit now you’ll dissapoint all your loyal fans.

insurgent#1: What fans? We’ve been killing our own civilians. The regular Iraqis hate us.

insurgent #2: I’m not talking about the Iraqis. I’m talking about the Americans.

insurgent #1: The Americans??

insurgent #2: We have many fans on the American left. Militarily we have had our asses handed to us. Our conventional war machine has been dismantled, our dictator has been taken down, and our government has been replaced all with a minimum of American losses. George Bush has proven to a be a formidible foe and the American military is mighty. But all the while our fans on the American left have championed our cause, they have disparaged every American victory and exaggerated every one of ours. They call their President a n00b and they tell their administration they are p@wn3d. All because the candidate they preferred was not elected President. They would rather lose the war than to see George Bush succeed.

insurgent #1: (stunned silence) . . . . . .They want to lose?? Are they fucking RETARDS??

insurgent #2: Yes (nodding solemnly), they are.

insurgent #1: How do you know these things?

insurgent #2: I’ve seen their websites.

insurgent #1: This is inexplicable

insurgent #2: Not quite. Remember how the Qur’an says that in the battle of Badr Allah sent down angels to assist the Muslims and they were victorious over an overwhelming force? Well it seems this time that Allah has sent down not Angels but Shayateen (Devils). Only He’s sent them to the other side.

insurgent #1: OMFG! Unbelievable

insurgent #2: Yes, the greatest military machine the world has ever known is going to fail and it’s going to be because of our cheerleaders. A nagging wife can destroy even the will of a champion.

insurgent #1: This news gladdens my heart and strengthens my resolve. Give my regards to our American fans. I’m going to kill some Americans!

5 Responses to “On The Front Lines”

  1. HMT says:

    I bet those guys are just insurgents cuz they think it’s cool to be called an “insurgent”

    they should start a punk band called the insurgents.. and promptly pull a Cobain.

  2. Citizen Quasar says:

    An interesting video is HERE

  3. Mexigogue says:

    “Best of” rocks! All the same kind of stuff, none of the hassle!

    Hey I went to the microfilm and found that article I had printed in the San Angelo Standard Times on May 14 1987. Printed it. By my present writing standards I hate it but I will post it at some point. The quality (or lack thereof) makes me laugh!

  4. HMT says:

    you gotta post that thing mexi