Historic Exile

My being temporarily banned from Leroy’s is like when Martin Luther King was incarcerated and wrote his famous Letter from a Birmingham Jail. It’s like Moses wandering around the desert for forty years. It’s like the British Empire sending Ghandi to band camp against his will. Future generations will look back and see this as an historic turning point until the world is once again set aright. I am the secular world’s Mahdi.

Perhaps I exaggerate a touch but while UNLV practices for our billiard showdown I am like Gary Kasparov tucked away in exile, my mind turning with the game in theory while my opponents get practical application. If I don’t get some real game time soon I’m going to imagine that my reality is, well, my imagination. Perhaps my existence is only idle thought with no connection to the physical world. Could it be that these are just delusional musings of the spirit and that my existence is actually of the non-corporeal? Now I’m creeping myself out. HEY!!!

Damn Descartes, I hate therefore I am. I hate that dude I had to punch, I hope his ears are still ringing. I’ve given up checking the obituaries for his picture but I was hoping he would have died by a delayed blood clot caused by the fight. Then his picture could have been in the paper with a quote from his mother saying nobody should have punched her boy because he was just a n00b. And under his picture would have been the caption “Teh pwn3d!!!” But each day that passes makes that scenario more unlikely.

So tonight I will once again go to sleep early, with nothing to do but await Sunday when I might get back in the joint. I’ve tried other places but it’s just not the same. I was thinking about calling Leroy’s, effecting a West Texas accent, and saying I’m President George Dubya and the Mexigogue has hereby been granted a full pardon. Paulie might buy it as it’s within the realm of possibility. If I was the President I would pardon me. It might work!

Yeah. And maybe that guy will die from a delayed blood clot.


15 Responses to “Historic Exile”

  1. HMT says:

    “I’ve given up checking the obituaries for his picture but I was hoping he would have died by a delayed blood clot caused by the fight”


    that’s why I love you.

  2. R says:

    Why don’t you play Yahoo Pool? It seems pretty realistic to me.

  3. Mexigogue says:

    I DID play HMT in Yahoo! pool. And he chose a black guy icon and we were laughing so hard it was hard to concentrate on the game because we both knew in real life he was a white guy!

  4. guy in the UNLV jacket says:

    You sirs are racists. You all are a bunch of bigotted racists. To show my disgust I’m going to boycott both of your blogs until I get to work. That will teach you Mexicans not to laugh at white guys pretending to be black and also serv as a lesson to all whites pretending to be black and laughing about it with Mexicans!!!

  5. Mexigogue says:

    Uh oh HMT, I guess that means ixnay on the oepolish-shay!!!

  6. Phelps says:

    What about Mexican guys who pretend to be white? Or black guys who pretend to be scary when they live in the suburbs?

  7. Mexigogue says:

    teh worst is white girls who put their hair in cornrows then roll their heads and destroy the English language in their attempt to be black. Or Vietnamese guys who pretend to be Thai. Fuckers!

  8. Those black guys really are scary in the ‘burbs. They don’t have to pretend. I cringe everytime I see one of those guys with their fancy cars and baggy jeans

  9. Mexigogue says:

    Not to mention their UNLV jackets!

  10. Adrian says:

    Holding thumbs for you dude.

    I am CONVINCED you are good enough to kick some ass at pool even after a two week ban. And if you don’t, poke the guys eye out.

    Thatll teach him…

  11. HMT says:

    fuck, just when I thought I was in good with UNLV, he pulls the race card on me..


  12. He’s gonna get his Ass kicked come Aug 5th…..I’ve changed the lyrics of “America Fuck yeah” to “UNLV Fuck yeah”

  13. lre says:

    i hate therefore i am. LOL!

  14. Citizen Quasar says:

    “Let me tell ya’ll something about fighting: YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO WIN!”

    —Sgt. Oliphaunt, United States Army

  15. Jenn says:

    HAHAHA! You kill me.

    How cute are you going through withdrawls?!