Hit Me!

So I’m at Leroy’s and this ghetto peasant n00b is being annoying telling people what shot he would have took like he’s all sagacious and shit. The fucking retard is telling Ken how to shoot. Ken’s picture is on the wall for being on the team that took first place in the city of Lansing in 2004. The jackass who’s criticizing his game does not have his picture anywhere because he’s a n00b. Finally he does it again and I approach him.

“You play pool?”

“Yeah.”

“You play for money?”

“How much?”

“Play for $20.”

“I don’t wanna play for $20.”

“Well what you wanna play for?” I ask, reaching into my pocket. “I play you for however much you want.”

Then his retard spidey sense kicks in because even he can tell I’m calling him out, putting him in the untenable position of having to back up his words instead of just sitting there talking shit. He gets up and says “Why the fuck you over here talkin’ to me?” He gets dead in my face nose about an inch away from mine and tries to punk me “WHY THE FUCK YOU COME OVER HERE ASK ME SOME SHIT LIKE THAT!?! WHY THE-”

It sounded just like “Hit me.”

When he got in my face I raised my hands and said “It was just a question.” When I saw it wasn’t going to end up good I planted my rear foot and drove my palm into his face. His head snapped back as far as it could go, his face pointed to the sky. Direct hit! It was on!”

Here’s the part where you can tell I haven’t been in many fights. I watched and was like wow, what’s going to happen next? He lunged forward and grappled me. We crash to the floor and he’s on me trying to hit me in the head. How come nobody ever wants to box me? It’s always this grapple shit! I’m on the floor and I started to manuever my hands up for the old thumbs in the eye while moving my head to try to avoid getting punched. He got a couple of hits to the side and top of the head but nothing direct. Somebody pulled him off and it was over.

I was going to lose unless I had managed to get the thumbs in the eye (I did that to a dude back in ’91 and he jumped up or I’d have taken his eyeball out.) Oh fucking well I can’t have somebody trying to punk me and get off scott free. What the fuck is wrong with people, the correct answer if you don’t want to bet is “I don’t bet.” Now he messed around and got hit and plus put out of the bar. I have a little owie in my temple but that’s about it. No big thing.

What sucks is that I have to talk to Paul sometime today. I hope I’m not barred. From my point of view he was all in my grill and I wasn’t going to wait to get hit first. People suck. There should be some kind of rule that you have to box in a fight. I hate grappling. Now if I get barred I have to stay home and do something positive.

20 Responses to “Hit Me!”

  1. HMT says:

    You better not get barred from Leroys.. that would make me sad.

    in other news, always pull him close when grappling…although I’m sure it seemed like 1/2 a sec. at the time..

    you’re metal

  2. Jenn says:

    Mexilicious! I like a man who can handle his. Even though you kinda didn’t.

    Girls never wanna box either. Bitches always wanna go for the hair.

    You can’t get barred from Leroy’s. That is your home. If they try to, we’ll boycott it for you!

  3. Jenn says:

    Oh yeah, people DO suck.

  4. Mexi why don’t you tell the truth? We all know that you like to get drunked up and go to dwarf conventions and engage in a little midget bashing. Just be honest and admit that your antagonist was really an uppity midget who was sick of taking your shit and fought back. Keep it real and admit the owie on your temple is actually a series of bite marks and bruises on your shins…..

  5. R says:

    I’ll totally boycott Leroy’s, too, dude, if they throw you out.

  6. Mexigogue says:

    It was entertaining. And that’s the important thing. I hate taking the high road.

  7. HMT says:

    UNLV, your response reminds me of Family Guy last night. f’n hilarious.

    mexi, we’re STARS!

  8. Nice Rack says:

    Ok, what night did this happen? I was there Saturday and Sunday and you didn’t fight. You went somewhere else on Friday and you of course mentioned nothing to me. True story?

  9. Mexigogue says:

    Yay Lauri hit the blog! If I knew all I had to do was punch somebody I’da done it long ago!

    Yes true story. It was last night right before closing.

  10. Phelps says:

    Given that you are a regular, this guy was a Leroys n00b and that you have never caused any other problems, I doubt you will be banned. I bet you are on some sort of double-secret probation or something for the next while, though.

  11. Mexigogue says:

    Haha, double secret probation. Where have I heard that before? Was it Southpark?

    Oh yeah and just got done visiting Willie. He called me Joe Louis. He said “They told me Mike hit that boy HARD! Say he drove his fist right into his head! hehe! I’m the man!

  12. I think your impending suspension is a fake. You just don’t want to face me on the pool table come Aug 5th…..

  13. Nice Rack says:

    I think he just doesn’t want to face me on the pool table ever again. I leave as soon as I can and Mexi goes off and pummels some random. I miss all the good stuff.

  14. Mexigogue says:

    Willie and Ken both said if they ban me they will boycott because us regulars gotta stick together. I guess I’m with the “in” crowd!

  15. WHere else are they going to go?

  16. Mexigogue says:

    Auggies.

  17. Phelps says:

    Animal House

  18. Jenn says:

    Come to think of it, you should have hit him and ran!

  19. Moses from Detroit says:

    I always miss all the good stuff!