Lists

I went to the printer to see why my document wasn’t printing. It said “error, unexpected paper size”. I said “unexpect MY NUTS” and hit the printer on the side like the Fonz. My print job came through.*

I hate lists. My office is in the process of moving from Okemos to downtown Lansing. Since we’re gubmint that means bureaucracy and redundancy. In preparation for the move we have went cubicle to cubicle and inventoried how many cabinets, drawers, and desktop surfaces each person has. The purpose was to estimate how much space each person would need at the new site. My idea: Just make a bunch of cubicles, have the office manager appoint people to their places, and let everyone be surprised.

What’s even worse in preparation for the walkthrough we were all told to tidy our offices and get rid of stuff we dont’ need. I said “Won’t that look like we all need less space then? Instead shouldn’t we all be bringing stuff in to make it look like we need more space?” My airtight reasoning was disregarded.

We’ve also already counted all the computer hard drives, monitors, fax machines, printers, and scanners. But that’s not enough. Now we have to go back through each cubicle and get serial numbers for the computers and monitors. Never mind that the computer techs already have that information down because they’re the ones who put the bar code state of michigan tags on each computer. Never mind that we’ve never had a list with this information in our office and the world has hitherto not exploded. Also never mind that if all our equipment disappears enroute to the new place the serial numbers won’t do us a bit of good. And as far as identifying equipment for the gorillas who move our stuff all we need to do is assign cubicle numbers (I’m 10-12) and put a sticker with that number on all our stuff.

What an incredible waste of time. This is gonna suck. And I’d be 5% of the way done with this by now if I hadn’t been sitting here blogging. Bah!
* lie

18 Responses to “Lists”

  1. Phelps says:

    You forgot the asterisk on the last paragraph, too. If you hadn’t been writing this, you would have been balancing a pencil on your upper lip or wandering around with a coffee cup in your hand. (I’m about to go see if my buddy is busy or wants to go with me to Starbucks. Then I’m going to wander around the floor with a coffee cup in my hand annoying people who have real work to do. It’s the Tao of Wally.)

  2. Mexigogue says:

    You’re right. 30 minutes has gone by and I’ve only filled in one blank.

  3. Just make up stuff that way you get more space at the new place….Sasy you have 2 computers, 3 phones, a fax machine, color laser printer, 6′ filing cabinet, mini fridge and a neon Budweiser sign in your cubicle. See what happens

  4. Mexigogue says:

    Just got back. A co-worker and I had to go pick up the new floor plans from another building. Being that she’s nosy she opened them up and started looking at them. She was telling me about her office. Then she started to tell me about mine and I said “Stop! Don’t spoil the surprise, I like to think maybe there will be a great big pool table in my cubicle. She said “News, your cubicle isn’t big enough for a pool table.”

    I hate when people spoil the surprise.

  5. Adrian says:

    She’s just psyching you out dude.

    Im SURE theres a pool table in that new office.
    THATS why they are moving!

  6. rae says:

    Boring…..give me some good Bloggin like about hookers or drugs or shady neighbors.

    I’m disappointed in you!!

  7. Mexigogue says:

    I think Jesus would beat the dog SHIT out of these people. Now they want serial numbers of all the mouses and keyboards. WHY????

  8. rae says:

    Cause they have a bunch of theiving Mexicans working for them.

  9. Mexigogue says:

    Oh that’s right. I just insulted you on your blog. I don’t understand it Rae. I genuinely you like you but for some reason I can’t stop insulting you. It makes me laugh so much! Please don’t stab me, it’s out of my hands!

  10. Citizen Quasar says:

    It’s all just gubmint make-work. The gorillas from the rent-a-drunk service that come in and do the actual move will put stickers on everything anyway. Probably they will be color coded moving stickers. That’s the way that industry does it.

  11. Mexigogue says:

    Box moving gorillas, helpdesk monkeys. It’s the freaking planet of the apes!

  12. Jenn says:

    I don’t like this moving business. You’re one of few people that blogs religiously and it’s like ghost town up in here. Hurry up and tag that shit.

  13. Mexigogue says:

    I didn’t miss a blogging day because of moving. I missed it because I sent HMT a list of interview questions yesterday and I was going to blog his response but he never responded and he disappeared from his own blog as well. Either he’s busy or he put on a disguise and went to a goth concert. There can be no other explanation.

  14. Jenn says:

    I say he’s at the goth concert. Damnit, HMT! Wipe off that make-up and answer those questions. I’m jonesin’ for a post de Mexi.

  15. Mexigogue says:

    Sometimes it’s good to have some build up to the moment.

  16. Phelps says:

    Dude, he’s at ComiCon. He should be back next week.