Einstein the Pimp

I’ve been looking for this all morning. I read a long time ago about a letter from Einstein to his wife that tended to shock people’s sensibilities. I thought it was cool because it showed that even a genius can have a rough time figuring out personal relationships. I think he was at the end of his rope at the time he wrote this and probably logically thought “Here the only conditions on which this farce of a marriage can survive.” I found the text of the letter on this page.

A. You will see to it that:
1. My clothes and laundry are kept in good order;
2. I will be served three meals regularly in my room;
3. My bedroom and study are kept tidy, and especially that my desk is left for my use only.

B. You will relinquish all personal relations with me insofar as they are not completely necessary for social reasons. Particularly, you will forgo my:
1. Staying at home with you;
2. Going out and traveling with you.

C. You will obey the following points in your relations with me:
1. You will not expect any tenderness from me, nor will you offer any suggestions to me;
2. You will stop talking to me about something if I request it;
3. You will leave my bedroom or study without any back talk if I request it.

D. You will undertake not to belittle me in front of our children, either through words or behavior.


Mileva Maric left Berlin with the children at the end of July.

17 Responses to “Einstein the Pimp”

  1. guy in the UNLV Jacket says:

    I’ts a wonder that guy ever got laid

  2. Mexigogue says:

    I especially like the part about not expecting any tenderness. Take that! Take that woman! The Big Payback!

  3. HMT says:

    #666 – fuck me like the energizer bunny on a trampoline at least 8 times a dizzay.

  4. Come to think of it, I don’t think those kids are his

  5. Mexigogue says:

    I still wish I was Einstein. If nothing else than for the fact that your life could be filled with a bunch of self reference one-liners and gaffes. Kind of like what this guy said:

    Reporter: Doctor, your work as a rocket scientist is truly inspirational. How do you do it?
    Dr. Steinberg: I dunno, I just figure it out. I mean, it’s not rocket science.
    Reporter: Actually, it is.
    Dr. Steinberg: Oh. I mean, I guess it is rocket science, but it’s not…this is confusing.

  6. Adrian says:


    PROOF he was a genius!

    I wish I had the balls to have said that to the ex. I might have still had my two car tyres that were stabbed by her…

  7. Cosmic Siren says:

    Or she might have stabbed all four.

  8. Mexigogue says:

    My job just changed the company that does our benefits so now they have me designating beneficiaries in the event of my demise. Whenever I fill one of those out I always feel like I’m choosing somebody and daring them to murder me!

  9. Mexigogue says:

    Only if you get your wife to sign a waver so you can list me as YOUR beneficiary. Then when you get here for your visit we can keep trying to put each other in harm’s way. Hey, that could be fun!

  10. It would be like spy vs. spy, I get to be the black one

  11. Phelps says:

    Dude, that is totally racist. We don’t make racist jokes around here.

  12. Cosmic Siren says:

    We can make totally offensive national comments though. One of you can be French and the other Italian.

  13. Jenn says:

    Wow, Einstein was a tool. He’s still my hero! I still want to meet him and pull his hair.

  14. Phelps says:

    In Einsein’s defense, he was simply clarifying the relationship that a lot of people had at the time. At that time, rather than divorce, they just went to an “arrangment.” They would all live in the same house, the woman would keep the house, the man would pay the bills, and other than that, they would leave each other alone. They would only see each other at social events, and they were free to “have other relations” as long as they were discreet and didn’t embarass their spouse.

    So, look at it this way, Jenn. Divorce wasn’t friendly to women then like it is now. He was doing her a favor by letting her keep up appearances rather than simply kicking her out.

  15. Jenn says:

    I hear ya! But, he was still a n00b! Only ’cause I read that letter though.