On the Front Lines

insurgent#1: I don’t have the heart for this anymore. This isn’t working, we’re spinning our wheels for no reason, all is lost. I’m going to quit.

insurgent#2: If you quit now you’ll dissapoint all your loyal fans.

insurgent#1: What fans? We’ve been killing our own civilians. The regular Iraqis hate us.

insurgent #2: I’m not talking about the Iraqis. I’m talking about the Americans.

insurgent #1: The Americans??

insurgent #2: We have many fans on the American left. Militarily we have had our asses handed to us. Our conventional war machine has been dismantled, our dictator has been taken down, and our government has been replaced all with a minimum of American losses. George Bush has proven to a be a formidible foe and the American military is mighty. But all the while our fans on the American left have championed our cause, they have disparaged every American victory and exaggerated every one of ours. They call their President a n00b and they tell their administration they are p@wn3d. All because the candidate they preferred was not elected President. They would rather lose the war than to see George Bush succeed.

insurgent #1: (stunned silence) . . . . . .They want to lose?? Are they fucking RETARDS??

insurgent #2: Yes (nodding solemnly), they are.

insurgent #1: How do you know these things?

insurgent #2: I’ve seen their websites.

insurgent #1: This is inexplicable

insurgent #2: Not quite. Remember how the Qur’an says that in the battle of Badr Allah sent down angels to assist the Muslims and they were victorious over an overwhelming force? Well it seems this time that Allah has sent down not Angels but Shayateen (Devils). Only He’s sent them to the other side.

insurgent #1: OMFG! Unbelievable

insurgent #2: Yes, the greatest military machine the world has ever known is going to fail and it’s going to be because of our cheerleaders. A nagging wife can destroy even the will of a champion.

insurgent #1: This news gladdens my heart and strengthens my resolve. Give my regards to our American fans. I’m going to kill some Americans!

38 Responses to “On the Front Lines”

  1. Cosmic Siren says:

    ROTFL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Very eloquent and funny. (And yet, scarily true.)

  2. MarcoAntonio says:

    Dude, I think Rush Limbaugh has breached the security of your blog.

    It’s not cheerleading it’s called the need for truth and accountability.

    This war was waged on lies told and retold by this administration. Lies repeated so often that half of the citizens of this country still believe them even though they’ve already been discredited.

    Our glorious leader has put our men and women in harms way when it was absolutely unneccesary.

    I am surprised that you aren’t outraged over that alone.

  3. HMT says:

    hahahaha.. way to throw a cock in the pussy party Marco..

    mexi, that was a wonderful post that sums up the shit about perfectly. I honestly have no fucken idea how we’re gonna get out, but to say it’s all lies and oil and blah blah blah blah GET THE BEERS IN!

  4. Mexigogue says:

    Opposition to the war is one thing. I was opposed to the invasion of Iraq before it happened and I’m not ashamed to say it. But once the fighting begins it’s not good to put up pictures glorifying the accomplishments of the other side. That is helping their morale and hurting ours. I want this thing won as quickly as possible. Creating dissension while we’re still in the fight is not helping.

    Like a bar fight. I might not want my people involved in a brawl and I’ll do everything to prevent it but once it begins it’s us against them until it’s over. Then we can argue amongst oursevels when it is finished.

  5. Mexigogue says:

    And I’ve never listened to Rush Limbaugh, I’m perfectly capable of coming up with my own ideas.

  6. MarcoAntonio says:

    Sorry ’bout that. I should have said Rush Limbaugh light.

    HMT I am appalled by your nonchalance regarding this fucking quagmire that our boy George the Lessor has gotten us into. No exit plan and your laughing about it like it’s a fucking game.

    Have you ever served in uniform? Just curious.

  7. Mexigogue says:

    Quagmire? To defeat a major nation and suffer only 1,700 deaths? That’s about the best any country has done since Germany walked into Czechloslovakia and said MINE! In fact about the only thing that has not gone well in this war is the morale at home.

  8. guy in the UNLV jacket says:

    I think there were a few mistakes in the planning and execution of this war

    1 They wanted a lightning quick war with minimal casualties and that’s what they got. It took what 3 weeks to reach Baghdad and out Sadaam. Where as they should have just obliterated the place like they did to Germany and left the Iraqis with no more will to fight.
    2. They have never had enough troops on the ground. There were aout 1.5 million allied troops in West Germany following WW2, for a population of 50 million, while we have about 150,000 on the ground for 26 million in Iraq. They need more troops to secure the border and patrol around.
    3. Everybody is an Arm Chair General, and most lack actual military knowledge. This goes for those for and agianst the war. To manny Talking heads on CNN, FOX news, MSNBC, blogs etc…
    4. We have a segment of our society who are activly rooting for the other side and intentionally undermining U.S. Morale.
    5. Very few Americans actually know hardship and sacrafice, for us hardship is when we didn’t get that Schwin for our b-day when we were 5 years old and sacrafice is giving up ice cream for lent. When they see soldiers dying in the field Americans can’t comprehend how somebody would give his/her life for something they believe in.

  9. Citizen Quasar says:

    MarcoAntonio and HMT are p@wned noobs who have never heard of the word W-I-N!!

    “Exit strategy…” Give me a fucking break! I can just see these two morons on a basketball court talking about an “exit strategy.”

    Perhaps if they went to a bar (Leroy’s?), threw down some money on the pool table, and then began mouthing off like that…THEN maybe the term “exit strategy” would be valid…ESPECIALLY if they were playing ME.

  10. Mexigogue says:

    Quasar if you call my brother a noob again I’m going to punch you!

  11. MarcoAntonio says:

    What constitutes a win in regards to the war?

    Do you support this war Citizen Q?? I challenge everyone reading this thread who does support this war to join the ranks of our combat troops. As long as you are physically and mentally able to of course.

    And if you become one of THEM (a troop) then maybe Citizen Q, just maybe you’ll see that your fucking weak ass pool analogy (if you can even call it that) isn’t as funny as you thought it was.

    You folks can attack me all you want but I strongly feel that the people that support this war should be doing thier parts by putting there own boots on the ground over there, period. If you disagree with me then I’d like to hear your logic behind it.

  12. MarcoAntonio says:

    Not a quagmire? What do you call a war with no end in sight? A fucking extended vacation??

  13. Mexigogue says:

    Are we to presume that you must be on the side of housefires if you don’t join the fire department???

  14. Marco you always get so personal. I’ve been on the ground driving a tank and kicking ass in Iraq, not this war but I was there for the last one, and I know you have floated around the Gulf and dodged missles. So kudos for the both of us. A W-I-N for the U.S is no more Sadaam, a US base on both sides of Iran, the Iranian revolution being over thrown and keeping all the fighting and bombing shit over there on their soil and not here in the USA. I figure Al-Qaida will peter out somewhere in the future most likely not in the next 10 years but sometime after that. If they ever do get Iraq up, running and stable then I feel that most of the other gumments in that region are pretty much through…

  15. Mexigogue says:

    “R” called me a hawk once. I’m not a hawk because I was opposed to the invasion before it happened but once you start a fight I believe you should try to win.

  16. rae says:

    War is bad.

  17. rae says:

    I need a beer.

  18. Mexigogue says:

    Peace at the price of liberty is worse.

  19. Mexigogue says:

    Sorry about that overly simpistic comment I made. It was in response to Rae’s overly simplistic comment.

  20. rae says:

    Well excuse me for trying to dumb down this nonsense!! I’ll stop commenting then Mexi-you evil genius!!

    Where’s my beer?

  21. Mexigogue says:

    I didn’t say stop commenting foo!

    My whole point of today’s post was to argue with “R”. Where the hell is he?

  22. rae says:

    He probably took my beer. Bastard.

  23. R says:

    Argh! I’m here, I’m here. I’ve been on the arsenal testing a missile designed to blow legs off of people –

    …oh, shit.

    Anywho, I agree that the insurgents are killing more Iraqi civilians than they are U.S. troops. The reason I post those pictures is not to say “Huzzah for the insurgents!” I post them because I don’t think our war in Iraq is as simple as the sound bytes coming from Bush or Cheney’s mouths.

    Like I’ve said before, for fucks’s sake don’t tell me the insurgency is in its last throes. It’s simplistic. It’s an insult to the intelligence of the American people. Tell us the straight up truth and don’t try to paint your war as a day at the beach.

    “Yeah, those fuckers are over there blowing Iraqi civilians up, but we’re doing our goddamn best to blow that insurgency to hell. I don’t know when it will end, but we’ll stay there kicking ass and supporting the Iraqis as long as we can.”

    The media will, of course, give the comments negative spin, but I’d be giving mad props for the administration having the balls to give a gritty picture of reality – fuck the post-media spin.

  24. Mexigogue says:

    Ok. I agree that the administration should tell it like it is because when the higher ups paint a rosy picture and then bad stuff continues to happen then that hurts morale. We should say “We’re in a helluva fight but we will not back down no matter how much casualties we take. Those guys stole our french fries.”

    Right now the world still has the perception that America is good offensively but has a glass chin and will run scared with a certain number of casualties, like when we bugged out after the Marine barracks was bombed back in the 80s and pulled out of Somalia in the Clinton years. I think that’s why the administration doesn’t want to pull out while the insurgency is still blowing stuff up. If we run scared the world will take note that we don’t have any resolve.

  25. Phelps says:

    I am constantly amazed at this, “if you support the war then join the military” shit. If you think that war is so bad, why don’t you join the military so we have another 20MM troops to send over there and end it even quicker?

    Except for the fact that generals aren’t asking for and have indeed refused more troops.

  26. Peggy says:

    I’m beginning to think my comment about this blog being in an alternative universe may be truer than I supposed. I’ve read all the comments and I was just wondering-Did anyone but me read a post about Islamic terrorists gaining encouragement from certain people in America who are so intent on tearing down the administration that they don’t see how damaging it is to the military and the country as a whole. This Administration will be gone in less than four years. It’s not like you’re stuck with it forever. And by the way, I served four years in the USAF, so nyah, nyah, nyah. (I am such a grown-up.)

  27. I don’t wanna sound like a queer or nothin’, but I think leg-seeking missiles are kick ass!

  28. Peggy says:

    “leg-seeking missles”

    Another definition for male Chihuahuas.

  29. Jeremy says:

    But once the fighting begins it’s not good to put up pictures glorifying the accomplishments of the other side.

    Too bad – that’s what free societies do.

  30. Jeremy says:

    If you think that war is so bad, why don’t you join the military so we have another 20MM troops to send over there and end it even quicker?

    Because I don’t think it helps America, even if we win (whatever that means, anyway).

    This war does nothing to advance authentic American interests one way or another. It is a compelete and utter exercise in futility. Winning or losing only has meaning when there’s something actually at stake, like our security or something. There is no element of threat here, since Iraq never threatened us. So… why should I care if we fail? It’s not like America is gonna blow up if we lose.

  31. Jeremy says:

    Peace at the price of liberty is worse.

    Right – because over the course of the war in Iraq, we’ve seen dramatic increases in liberty.

    Give me a break.

  32. Mexigogue says:

    That’s right. You prefer Sadaam. You love him and want to make out with him. Since he was a Bath SOCIALIST, you think he had to be some good.

  33. Jeremy says:

    That’s right. You prefer Sadaam. You love him and want to make out with him. Since he was a Bath SOCIALIST, you think he had to be some good.

    Saddam = GREAT!!!

  34. Mexigogue says:

    HAHAHA! Too funny!

    Just dont’ start posting the underwear pics!

  35. Jeremy says:

    Not even the ones with me in my underwear standing behind him photoshopped in?

  36. Citizen Quasar says:

    Well said Marco.
    I have three, count’em THREE, honorable discharges and one decoration. If I were younger, I would be there.

    We, as a nation, were right to eliminate Saddam just like any civilization is right to eliminate criminals.

    Quagmire? No. A duly elected government is drafting a constitution and it will be affected faster than any in recorded history. The Iraqi Army and Police grow larger and stronger everyday.

    The battle is being taken to the suburbs and boonies where people are assisting to liberate their country. Millions…MILLIONS…of people in the Middle East are ready for democracy.

    Get a life dude. Or is the fact that you don’t have one also Bush’s fault?

  37. Phelps says:

    Because I don’t think it helps America, even if we win (whatever that means, anyway).

    Wow. You’re the first person who I’ve actually seen put it in writing that he hopes America loses the war.

  38. Jeremy says:

    You’re the first person who I’ve actually seen put it in writing that he hopes America loses the war.

    I didn’t say that. But if it makes you feel better, argue with me like I did.

    What I’m saying is that even if Bush had everything go 100% according to plan, full success, I wouldn’t support him because I reject the legitimacy of the objectives he is pursuing. “Democracy in Iraq” is about as low on my list of priorities as you can get.