Animal Protection Groups Hate Children

From this abcnews article

On the other side of the country, Oregon lawmakers have been debating whether to rewrite an 11-year-old law that banned using dogs to hunt cougars, except in cases where a particular animal had been identified as a threat.

There have been increasingly frequent sightings reported in the Northwest, some by parents of small children who have seen cougars lurking in places where kids are around.

In Vancouver, Wash., across the Columbia River from Portland, two cougars roamed into a residential neighborhood recently, in yet another sign of how the lines are blurring between what might be considered humans’ turf and wilderness where animals rule.

“You can bury your head in the sand and lose a child, but do we want to err on the side of that policy? I don’t think so,” said Oregon State Rep. Jeff Kropf, a Republican from Albany, one of the lawmakers who want to reverse Measure 18, the voter-approved measure that outlawed the use of dogs, except when cougars are an identified threat.

Other predators that have been growing in numbers and threatening human settlements (after getting legislative protection) include black bears, mountain lions, gray wolves, and the north american angry midget. It’s time to take away these wrongheaded animal protections before somebody gets killed. What’s it gonna be you animal protection groups? The animals or the children? Which ones are you more eager to bury???
I don’t like wild animals encroaching on my territory. I once climbed a tree to chase a possum (and knocked it off of its perch with a 2 by four*). I hate nature! IT’S UNNATURAL! If I can’t even stand to have a possum in my community, I DAMN sure ain’t down with the bears and the cougars. I think it’s time to damn the legislation and take back the neighborhoods!

* I’m not trying to copy off Russ Martin’s possum hating, the above was a true story

32 Responses to “Animal Protection Groups Hate Children”

  1. Cosmic Siren says:

    More animal activists hate themselves and the rest of humanity. They don’t see humans as a part of nature, they see them as a blemish on the face of the Earth. So, of course, they don’t like children.

  2. MarcoAntonio says:

    Humanity does suck in general. But to risk the lives of children for a few animals? Never!

    Oh, and the only thing that sucks more is the Miami HEAT!

  3. mexigogue says:

    OH shit! I almost forgot! There’s a basketball game tonight!!!

  4. HMT says:

    Fuck that. Kill everything. Animals AND small children.

    This makes me want to take the Delorean back to the future to about 1730, when you could go on an organized hunt, hit up the whorehouse filled with French Prostitutes, and then get high on Opium all night.

    Perhaps that was also my dream last night.

  5. mexigogue says:

    Heh heh! French prostitutes. Don’t say it:

    Jack Nicolson: “Is there another kind???”

  6. guy in the UNLV jacket says:

    phelps send me that login info again

  7. mexigogue says:

    I had the info so I just sent it to you.

  8. guy in the UNLV jacket says:

    Nature is not something that should be messed with and all wild life should be left to flourish. Half of the problem with the United States is the factr that we have killed off so much wild life this place isn’t fun anymore. Case in point I was watching this show on the Discovery channel the other night and it was about the demise of the 2 species of Midgets native to our lands The North American Angry Midgets(NAM) and the Woodland Drunken Dwarfs(WDD).
    Before the white man came there were millions of these little guys roaming the lands they were so pleantiful that the Indians each had their own little Yes men. You could always tell an Indian’s wealth by the number of NAMs surrounding him.
    Then the white man came and they decimated the NAM population, with their dwarf tossing and county fair freak shows. But the WDDs continued to thrive with the white man until hollywood came calling. The WDDs left the woodlands in search of jobs as Munchkins and Ewoks. Then hollywood discovered better special effects and they no longer needed the WDDs to play Hobbits and jesters. This led many of the WDDs to commit suicide or start drinking since they could no longer find work. I am now forming People for the Ethical treatment of Midgets (PETM)….Long live the midgets

  9. mexigogue says:

    Pet’em??? Ewwww gross!!!!!!!

  10. mexigogue says:

    Lauri, I’m dying! Only you can help me! Uhhhhhh, getting weeeak! ohhh laaaaame!

  11. Nice Rack says:

    You are retarded, and no you can’t sniff it without the required doctor’s note.

  12. mexigogue says:

    HAHAHAHA!! You slay me!!! Give her a hand ladies and gentlemen, it’s Nice Rack!!

  13. Nice Rack says:

    Thank you very much

  14. Dr. Dre says:

    Mexi is really dying. Here is your note.

  15. Since Mexi is dying, please let him smell it.

    Signed,

    Mexi’s Mother

  16. Nice Rack says:

    That’s gross. I told you last night Dr. Dre is not a real doctor.

  17. Dr Seuss says:

    Dr Dre may not be a real Dr. but I am and he is dying. His only hope for life is aroma therapy.

  18. Nice Rack says:

    Hmm, you nasty, gross, despicable little man. What aroma would that be? I’ve heard cocoa butter has a pleasant zing to it.

  19. If you don’t let Mexi sniff it, the terrorists win.

    I’m George W. Bush, and I approved this message.

  20. guy in the UNLV jacket says:

    Go running in 90 degree weather, don’t wash it and then let Mexi sniff it

  21. Dr. Pepper says:

    In my medical opinion, Mexi should sniff it immediately. Just wear gloves.

  22. Let Mexi sniff it, Rack… It’s our only hope!

  23. R says:

    I just ran. I ran very slowly because it’s been like three weeks since I last ran. 🙁

  24. mexigogue says:

    Thanks for getting my back guys. I feel love for the support!

  25. Phelps says:

    I think that running very slowly is called “walking.”

  26. Al Qaeda says:

    Muhuhahahahaa!!! Don’t let him sniff it! Victory will be ours!! AAAAAH HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAA!!!!

  27. R says:

    I think you should shut the fuck up, Phelps. That’s what I think.

    Puto.

  28. Sally Struthers says:

    Oh look, I have a “walk” in my stockings!

  29. Sally Struthers says:

    WHY DOESN’T ANYONE WANT TO SNIFF ME?? I SMELL LIKE PORK-NOG!! YEAH!!!

  30. Nice Rack says:

    I’m glad the cosmic forces are forces are with you, too bad I’m not a republican, I’ve never seen Star Wars and I only drink Dr. Pepper with Captain Morgan’s. He’s obviously too drunk to be thinking straight. I like UNLV’s idea, I think I broached a similar subject with you already.

  31. mexigogue says:

    I’m really almost dead. . . MY GODDDDD why isn’t anyone helping me????

  32. Phelps says:

    You should let Mexi sniff it… For the Children.