Matchups of the Day

Who would win in a straight up fight? Why?

Joan of Arc v The Penguin
The Thing v Alan Alda
Gary Coleman v Webster
Razor v Detroit Hacksaw
God v Charles Darwin
Jane Fonda v Michael Moore
Jesse (The Body) Ventura v Terri (The Body) Shiavo
Judge Wopner v Judge Judy
Judge Joe Brown v Leroy Brown
Peter Pan v Michael Jackson
Helen of Troy v Helen the Babysitter who used to watch us and sneeze really loud
Syphilis v Bob
Godzilla v Halima (presuming they don’t team up)
Monique v Logic
PETA v a Lion

21 Responses to “Matchups of the Day”

  1. s says:

    c’mon dude, get real! Terri (The Body) Shiavo beats all comers _HANDS DOWN_. She’s already won the hearts and minds of Americans with her silly little smile and teasing eyes. That little dorothy-hammill-on-crack can do no wrong.

  2. Phelps says:

    Joan
    The Thing
    Webster (Everyone has kicked Gary’s ass.)
    DH
    G
    Jane
    Jesse (no pity from that SEAL)
    Judy
    Jackula
    Helen
    Syph
    Halima
    Logic
    Lion

    Here’s some that I’ve thought about:
    Clark Kent vs. Bruce Wayne
    Anthrax vs. The Cure
    Dennis Leary vs. Timothy Leary
    Mister Mister vs. Mr. Clean
    Lewis Black vs. Jack Black
    Afghan Wigs vs. The B-52s
    Ghandi vs. Mother Theresa
    Lloyds of London vs. Fredricks of Hollywood

    Oh, and when I read the Godzilla vs. Halima thing, I read it the first time as “presuming they break up”

  3. Mexigogue says:

    I just thought about this. Why in the hell would a snowman smoke a pipe??? That doesn’t make any sense!

  4. Mexigogue says:

    Mheh heh! Ghandi v Mother Theresa FIGHT TO THE DEATH!!!

  5. Phelps says:

    Snowmen don’t smoke pipes. They smoke cigarillos. Didn’t you see my graphic?

  6. Mexigogue says:

    Well Frosty supposedly smoked a corncob pipe. AND WHY DOES HE WEAR A SCARF????

  7. Phelps says:

    The same reason Aidan does.

  8. Mexigogue says:

    So he has something to use for cleanup???

  9. Phelps says:

    Nobody wants to talk to a guy with a messy chin.

  10. tubgirl says:

    Yeah. That’s just gross!

  11. TB says:

    The Penguin – Mario Lemiuex
    Alan Alda – What a career ressurgence!
    Gary Coleman – isn’t Webster dead?
    Razor – cuz a razor cuts like a knife!
    God – but only an evolved God
    Jane – at least she can see her genitalia
    hahahahahahahah to this one. and of course Jesse, you saw his gun in Predator.
    Judge Wopner – I once heard him say he’d like to tie someone’s balls up with razor wire and the other end to a truck
    Leroy Brown – Leroys!
    Gays would win this one
    Babysitter – was she hot?
    Bob – that’s me. I win.
    Halima – but only if they team up
    Monique – sass 100%
    Lion – because he doesn’t know what PETA is.

  12. Phelps says:

    Ooh! I thought of a better one. Forget Mr. Clean vs. Mister Mister. It’s two bouts now.

    Mr. Clean vs. Garbage
    Mister Mister vs. Sirhan Sirhan

  13. Mexigogue says:

    Matchup never get old, do they?

    Rodney King v Reginald Denny
    John F. Kennedy v Abe Lincoln

  14. Phelps says:

    Marilyn Manson vs. Al Bundy
    Meatloaf vs. Butterbean
    Wee Man vs. R. Kelly
    Robert Blake vs. William Shatner

  15. Phelps says:

    Crazy Eye Fred vs. Tiny Lister

  16. Mexigogue says:

    Christopher Reeve v Sonny Bono!

  17. guy in the UNLV Jacket says:

    Joan of Arc v The Penguin —> Who cares
    The Thing v Alan Alda > Thing all day
    Gary Coleman v Webster > Gary Coleman all day, he is a security guard and we all know those guys are tough
    Razor v Detroit Hacksaw —-> Razor just sounds cooler than hacksaw
    God v Charles Darwin —-> God in a 1st round tko
    Jane Fonda v Michael Moore —-> Michael Moore, Hanoi Jane seems almost repentant these days
    Jesse (The Body) Ventura v Terri (The Body) Shaivo —> No way jesse is go lose to a cripple
    Judge Wopner v Judge Judy —> 10 minutes til Wopner catches a beat down
    Judge Joe Brown v Leroy Brown —-> Leroy ain’t the baddest man in the whole damn town for a reason
    Peter Pan v Michael Jackson —-> Peter
    Helen of Troy v Helen the Babysitter who used to watch us and sneeze really loud —-> Who cares
    Syphilis v Bob —> Bob, His liberal ideals will cure any VD
    Godzilla v Halima (presuming they don’t team up)—> I thought they were one in the same
    Monique v Logic —> Monique hasn’t lost yet to logic and I don’t expect her to start losing anytime soon
    PETA v a Lion —-> Roar bitch!!

  18. Phelps says:

    J.D. vs. the Sucka Pump
    Eddie Munster vs. Eddie Haskel
    J.J. Walker vs. J. Jonah Jamison
    Phantasm vs. Harry Potter (think about it)
    Stroker Ace vs. Cole Trickle
    Drew Carey vs. Mary Carey

  19. Phelps says:

    James Bond vs. John Drake
    She’s the Sheriff vs. Reno 911!
    Vipers vs. X-Wings
    Darth Vader vs. Dark Helmut

  20. Mexigogue says:

    Yoda v The Shwartz!

  21. Phelps says:

    Pepridge Farm Goldfish vs. Cheese-Its.