Top 10 Reason Why the Mexigogue Should be the Next Pope

10. I’m not Catholic. Time to shake things up.
9. People would have to kneel down and kiss my ring when they approached me. I would like that.
8. Maybe some of those setup jokes would actually come to life, i.e., Mr. T, a blind midget, and the Pope walk into a bar. . .
7. I’m young enough to go backhand all the naughty priests.
6. I could ask the chicks if they wanted to touch my staff!!!
5. Pool tables in the Vatican!
4. I could throw my weight around with customer service reps. (who am I??? I’m just THE FREAKIN’ POPE!!)
3. I could throw the first pitch of the year.
2. I would let Burger King sponsor and put their emblem on the Pope hat. It would be like the biggest Burger King hat ever!
1. RESPECT MY AUTHORITII!!

8 Responses to “Top 10 Reason Why the Mexigogue Should be the Next Pope”

  1. Phelps says:

    I can’t vote for you — I’m voting for Russ Martin. He does the best Pope voice, and I think that switching out the Popemobile for the Batmobile would be the coolest thing the Catholic church has done since the Cruades.

  2. Russ for Pope

    Mexigogue gave his Top 10 Reason Why the Mexigogue Should be the Next Pope. I couldn’t disagree more. I think Russ Martin should be the next Pope. Here’s Ten Reasons why: 10. The Batmobile is cooler than the Popemobile. 9….

  3. Hanna says:

    To me, the picture means that the Pope is fighting Darth Vader … eh, evil perhaps. If you promise to fight evil I may give you my vote as the new Pope (though I would prefer him to be a woman, then she could wear a tiara instead of a mitre – I always confuse these two words anyway).

  4. Mexigogue says:

    I always confuse Sweden and Switzerland. My suggestion is that they merge and start speaking the same language to clear up any confusion on my part.

  5. Phelps says:

    I always confuse photographic and pornographic. It all ends up the same when I have a camera anyway. You would think I could use them correctly, since I have a pornographic memory, but apparently not.

  6. TB says:

    haha.. nothin was as cool as the crusades phelspie… we fucked shit up right there… it was the best game plan ever – you don’t believe what we do? ok cool, die bitch.

    I had no choice but to be catholic in lieu of their historic metallic presence.

  7. Phelps says:

    The funny thing is that the Crusades wasn’t even about who believed what. “Are you going to let us through to the zombie land? No? Now you are dead. Are you going to let us through now? Yes you are.

    And I’ll do some looting before I go, now. See what you caused?”

    And on the Muslim side, you had, “We conquered this land fair and square! No backsies! You can’t come conquer it back! We didn’t pummel every last pagan and Jew into submission just to let some idiots in soup cans start telling us what’s what! Die, bitches! Durka Durka!”

  8. Russ for Pope

    Mexigogue gave his Top 10 Reason Why the Mexigogue Should be the Next Pope. I couldn’t disagree more. I think Russ Martin should be the next Pope. Here’s Ten Reasons why: 10. The Batmobile is cooler than the Popemobile. 9….