No Internet/Good Day

I got home this weekend to find that I had no internet access. So that’s what all those bills were about. I called Ameritech and they said they would have it back on as soon as I made payment. I told them Monday. Then they said “Pay your bills foo!”

So this weekend my kids and I were stuck doing things the old fashioned way. Instead of drawing pictures with Paintshop Pro application I bought us drawing pads, charcoal pencils, a #2 pencil, colored pencils (they wouldn’t let us buy the ones for white people), an art eraser, and a pencil sharpener. I tried to show them a thing or two about smudging with charcoal for shading effect but they don’t draw stuff like that. They continued making multi panel comic rip offs of the Mario Brothers and Pokemon characters. I drew a picture of some boobs.

Yesterday I was still stuck with no internet access so I took my oldest son to Pockets to shoot pool. We played 9 ball on the big tables for six hours straight and my game was on! I was getting my stroke down for the long shots, getting good leaves, and really upping my confidence. Six hours at Pockets is as many games as month at Leroys so it was a helluva workout. I played so long I forgot to eat so when I got home I had to throw down some sammiches and get some Zs.

At Leroy’s that night I had the table for like 8 or 10 games straight. I finally got taken off the table by an older cat who haunts Pockets but by the time I was done I was like whoa, that was a bad five quarters! I told some jokes and nobody laughed. Then I sang karaoke and everybody laughed.

Just when I thought my day couldn’t get any better the most beautiful chick on the planet came over and gave me a hug. For one second my life was perfect. I said “I must really rock and that’s why you hugged me huh?” “No” says she, “It’s affirmative action for big losers so this act of charity was mandated by law.” “I’ll take what I can get” says I.

This is a terrible blog entry. It’s self serving and anybody who is still reading is like shut up and get to the point. There is no point. I had a good day. And the cat acts like she hates me but I think she secretly likes going airborne.

Kids say the most precious things! My daughter sent me this email:

Mom thought that I was drawing a “demon” just because I drew red eyes.
Did you talk to Hitler?

24 Responses to “No Internet/Good Day”

  1. R says:

    You’re right. This blog posts sucks the dog’s nuts. The email you added at the end only barely saved it.

  2. Cosmic Siren says:

    I want to know how you answered her.

    You know, your kids could probably write one hell of a book about their childhood when they get older.

  3. Cosmic Siren says:

    I need to move back to Texas. Everyone I hang with in Oklahoma is missing some dots off their dice.

  4. Mexigogue says:

    Missing dots! Hehe!

    I answered her by saying Hitler died way before I was born, but if by Hitler you mean Halima then no I have not talked to her.

    There is something about Hitler that makes everything funny. It’s like Russ Martin said if you read any news article out loud and replace the subject the article is about with “monkey” it becomes funny.

  5. Cosmic Siren says:

    lol.

    This is how screwed up one of my friends is. I can only give a quick summary here.

    This friend is currently upset at her exhockey player (ex?)boyfriend, who she wouldn’t marry, even though she wants to be married, because she couldn’t trust him to be faithful to her. Nevermind that she was just as unfaithful. He hurt first by letting a female fan hang all over him and flirt at a fan appreciation party.

    These two went back and forth being together and apart – and believe me, she wasn’t being Miss Faithful during the apart phases. For a while I thought he was pretty faithful, but found out from some of his friends that he slipped a few times during the together phases, though for most of the apart phases, he would mope about her.

    Then he moved to Canada to go to school and she won’t move up there because it’s too cold – so they decided they would just be friends and see what happens in four years – at least that was my understanding.

    Meanwhile, she’s slept with about a handful of his buddies. (She still thinks she better than that obsessed fan who tried to sleep with every member of that hockey team and tried attacking her.) And on New Year’s Eve, she had sex with a guy she had only just met, who can’t decide if he’s religious or not. He’ll come on to her and then the next morning frantically says that they’ve sinned and they should never do it again outside of marriage and should pray for God’s forgiveness – only to repeat the cycle a few days later. The guy’s a total screwball.

    Well, she’s now pregnant with his kid. And now he can’t decide if he wants to be a dad or not, even though when they first met, he kept saying that was what he really wanted. He is totally undependable. If he gives his word to help with something, it’s about a 75% chance that he won’t. And he tries to pick fights with her and then says she’s the one starting them. Got into a really physical one where he tried to punch her stomach. I think he was trying to cause a miscarriage.

    I’ve told her to get rid of this bastard. He’s a psychopath. But noooo. She won’t believe that as ling as he changes his tune within a week. It’s no wonder that his exfiance, who is due to have another child of his in a month or so, won’t let him anywhere near her anymore.

    Anyway, ny friend is upset that her exboyfriend visited all the way from Canada to see his former teammates and didn’t see her. I certainly can’t understand why – she’s only carrying the baby of another guy, who she is sticking with, even though he’s totally. Hey. Wouldn’t you want to see with an ex who’s having a baby with someone else and be all sweet and supportive to them?

    I love her as a friend, but the woman is a succubus.

  6. Mexigogue says:

    Did she ask for tree-fiddy?

  7. Cosmic Siren says:

    No, because she’s “not a whore”. That’s why she turned down her long-time millionaire suger-daddy horse breeder, when he told her she just had to move in with him and he would take care of her every need – except marriage. He still doesn’t understand why. Used to talk to me about it to figure it out. Of course, if all the stuff he swore he felt for her was true, I couldn’t figure out why marrying her was such a big deal.

    But looking over her relationships during this past year, I don’t think I understand it either anymore. It’s okay to be a slut and expect guys to pay for things for you, but it’s bad to be up front about having a relationship where she gets financial support and he gets regular sex.

  8. Mexigogue says:

    The prevailing morality is screwed. You know what sucks? To have a chick pregnant and you’re living with her but suddenly she gets back in the church and now you can’t score anymore because Jesus is bogarting the p***y. What’s up wit dat???

  9. Cosmic Siren says:

    It’s called shutting the stable door after the horses have left.

  10. guy in the UNLV jacket says:

    Cosmic your friend is one crazy messed up chick. Like Mexi says you gotta watch out for that Jebus guy he will mess up the Pu$$y faster than you can say “Save me Jebus”. Funny how much guilt the Christians put people put on the whole adultery commandment as oppoesd to the other nine.

  11. Mexigogue says:

    That reminds me I drew a picture of a dude kung fu kicking the shit out of another dude. An arrow pointed to the kicker that said “me” and an arrow pointed to the guy getting kicked and it said “pastor.” Then I made a word bubble for the pastor that said “JEBUS, WHERE ARE YOU???” and in the background I had Jebus on the cross yelling “OVER HERE!” Kind of reminiscient of Scooby Doo.

  12. R says:

    AHAHAHAHAH!!! OMG!!! AHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

  13. Nice Rack says:

    Didn’t I hug you last night?

  14. Mexigogue says:

    !! YES!!!! That makes TWICE in my life that I was perfectly happy. (the other time was when I heard John Denver’s plane had crashed)

  15. Nice Rack says:

    I highly doubt I am the most beautiful chick on the planet, since Angelina Jolie exists

  16. Phelps says:

    The dots on dice are called “pips”.

    That’s the only contribution I have for today.

  17. Hitler says:

    What’s up Mexi? Long time no hollar. Well I just wanted to check in and make sure everything is cool in your hood. Tell the kids I said hi….

  18. Mexigogue says:

    Fie on Angelina Jolie! She lost me when she started doing volunteer work so she can bang on her chest like a gorilla showing everybody what a great humanitarian she is. You want to help people in third world countries? Don’t build a well, build a factory that makes fly swatters! Starving is one thing but having to put up with those fucking flies would really piss me off. A flyswatter factory would be sure to succeed. That way people will get value for their buck and the factory will make more and more money which means jobs.

    God I’m smart!

  19. TB says:

    Was her volunteer work banging gorillas?

    that would mean LESS jobs.

  20. Phelps says:

    Speaking of beautiful chicks, check out pic 6 on this series:

    http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/in_pictures/4304639.stm

    Now my pants don’t fit right. All she needs is a pistol in her hand and I’d need a new chair.

  21. Phelps says:

    And you don’t give third world countries fly swatters — you spray DDT all over them. Malaria is killing them by the metric fuckload, all because the eco-nuts decided that condors eggs are more important than black babies.

  22. Mexigogue says:

    I like pic 9 better. Nice segue into today’s post too!

  23. Phelps says:

    Check out #1 on this site:

    http://aolsvc.news.aol.com/news/article.adp?id=20050228090009990003

    I need to find out where the Lebanese chicks hang out in Dallas.

  24. more deeply than any plain-spoken confessional johnny depp monolog, dramatizing inner and outer conflict with christian dating service a precise, knowing wit. The husband holds “Yes jessica simpson online and No together with one hand/ while parrying the online college degree words of wife.” The wife marvels “at her husband’s buy portable dvd player online ability to place the world within brackets.” Sensibilities online banking unravel and reassemble as contradictions beget online photo sharing tautologies: “If I could kill you I would then online photo sharing have to make another exactly like you./ Why./ To cellular phone service online