Sonya Blair

Today’s post was inspired by a post from the “D” where he writes about his reservations about his high school son’s dating. Reflecting back on my high school years I really knew nothing at all when it came to relationships which made me pretty much the same as I am now except for the fact that I’ve gained a few experience points.

The chick I really thought was fine at Lansing Eastern was Sonya Blair. She was this black chick from a middle class family, tall, beautiful, intelligent, and all that. She sat right behind me in Mrs. Sage’s English class but I was too scared to talk to her even though she smiled at me from time to time. On sweetest day I sent her a rose but I only signed it anonymous and like a dummy I never told her it was from me so I got to watch her walk around the school carrying the rose but other than that it was just a waste of money. My five year plan to eventually strike up a conversation with her never panned out so that went nowhere.

About five years later I got the phone number from this other chick I went to high school with. Her name was LaSonya Ware (I swear before God and Mr. T I’m not making that up.) She also was a tall black chick but she was from the ‘hood and had some rather ghetto mannerisms. She’s no Sonya Blair, I thought, but the her name kind of rhymes so I guess this is the no-frills version, maybe it’s almost as good. I called her up and gave it a shot.

Not similar. . . Not even close.

LaSonya Ware invited me over to her house and neglected to tell me (as I’m sitting there making myself comfortable with a 40 oz. Colt 45) that she had a boyfriend living with her!!! How do I know this? Because as I’m sitting there just chillin’ like the proverbial villian, this dude uses a key and just walks in the house! He sees me and his first question is who the fuck is this?? (a question which I was glad she answered because I was actually stumped my damn self.) Not a class act this chick, I ended up excusing myself when they started arguing and what I learned from the deal is don’t try to get with some chick because her name rhymes with that of some other chick who you really liked.

The real deal (Sonya Blair) ended up getting married and I’ve only seen her once since. The Janky Meal ended up having kids by this dude who got a 40 day sentence for beating her up (if I remember the story correctly). I’m getting way past the original point of the story which is yes relationships are fraught with peril and high school is where it tends to starts in earnest. If you need to give you son some advice “D” let him know not to settle for a chick with a rhyming name because that’s just asking for trouble.

14 Responses to “Sonya Blair”

  1. Phelps says:

    Man. If that happened to me, I don’t know who it would be, but someone would have a Glock screwed in thier ear.

  2. Mexigogue says:

    I didn’t have a glock. I think I had brought a Reach toothbrush in case I ended up spending the night. Maybe I could have brushed somebody’s teeth really hard and made their gums bleed but that’s about it.

  3. guy in the UNLV jacket says:

    You should have excused yourself and went into the bathroom and filed your toothbrush down to a point, came out screaming and shanked the dude right there in his own living room. Then sit b ack down and finish your Colt .45

  4. Mexigogue says:

    Damn. You guys always have better ideas than me.

  5. guy in the UNLV jacket says:

    That is what mobile phones are for, next time you find your self at a chick’s house and her man comes home, go in the bathroor and call “D”, Phelps or myself and we will givew you some good bloggable ideas to get out of your situation

  6. Phelps says:

    “LANSING – A local Lansing man was rushed to the hospital today in a bizare twist of events. Police are still unsure of the course of events, but it ended with one Hispanic man having a sharpened toothbrush sticking out of his ear and a cell phone inserted in his rectum. Another man was treated for scratches to his face at the scene, and a third suspect was charged with robbery of controlled substances from an Emergency Vehicle.”

  7. Phelps says:

    And the best part is that Russ could do a 911 call for that.

  8. Mexigogue says:

    Tyrone is the one who scratches! HAHAHA!

  9. The "D" says:

    I will remember those words Mexi!!!! This little skank is scaring the hell out of me.

  10. Mexigogue says:

    Oh yes, a 911 call! An old lady talking about the Dan Lewis special and the Trey special! HAHAHAHHAHAHA!!!

  11. guy in the UNLV jacket says:

    Better yet just stay awayfrom chicks who have live in lovers, unless they are swingers

  12. Say, dude. You must have really been wankled over that one. You stuttered (typos) all through it. I went to three different high schools in three different states. This did not help MY five year plan AT ALL.

  13. guy in the UNLV jacket says:

    Good for you Citizen……

  14. guy in the UNLV jacket says:

    Come to think of it change that good for you to a fuck you….. Ass Monkey!!! What the hell does Wankled even mean?