You can tell a lot about a person from what kind of things they write about. I used to keep notebooks around the house so I could start writing when I needed to work out thought processes. The end product is some scary stuff if it ever got into the hands of a psychologist. You could tell that my worldview was all smoke, fire, treachery, and emotional evasion. That’s the stuff I write for me. What I write for an audience is politics, law, history, and current events.

Rachael writes about interpersonal issues. She has more in common with the general public than I do because that’s difficult ground for me to comprehend. Social clues mostly blow right by me and I don’t feel qualified to enter into a discussion about peoples feelings, motivations, and interpersonal dealings.

Not only can I not write about things like that, I can’t even comment intelligently unless I think of the issue at hand as a sports analogy. Like when I beat that 1100 average league player two out of three games yesterday. Yeah I had to slip that in there. I was all like making shots, odd angle banks, tough safes, drawback shots, 8-ball cuts. I kept hearing “good shot!” in the background, both from my team and from the opponents. I know that according to the averages this guy must have thought he was supposed to smoke me but I wasn’t playing like what he expected and he was like. . . mad.

At one point I made my two ball in the side off the five. He looked at me as if to say yeah right you meant to carom off that other ball. I gave him that look like damn right! Then he made a face like how did you plan to hit that. Then I gave him that look like high right English mothafucka! Then made that expression with his eyes like why not middle English? And then I flicked my ashes in the motion to imply that the angle was too acute.

I’m sorry. I was saying: you can see from the differences in blogs that while we all exist on the same earth people often exist in greatly different realities. Is this existence even remotely similar for Ghengis Khan and for Richard Simmons? I doubt it, yet they were born on the same planet. The ditsy chick at work (no I won’t narrow it down) will never experience my world and I will never experience hers. Neither one of us can comprehend the other except in a cursory acknowledgment of the other’s existence while at the same time regarding the other person’s life as unspeakably and horribly unliveable. But what suits me is that mine suits me.

I had a dream once that my ex wife had linked her blog to mine and when I read hers it was flowery and deep yet incomprehensible to me. I don’t think I understood a thing because the font was all pretty and the background color was a soft. . . what’s that purplish color? Hold on, let me go ask a girl.


I only know like five colors.

11 Responses to “Reality”

  1. R says:

    Sometimes I look at people who are less attractive than I am (because I’m motherfucking smokin’) and I wonder, as I pass them by, what if God, in an effort to humble me and teach me a lesson about my overwhelming narcissism, vanity, and ego, exchanged my consciousness with the consciousness of said ugly guy.

    Not only would I not learn my lesson, but I would be so pissed with God.

    I’d be all, “WTF, G?!?”

    And then God would be like, “LOL!”

  2. Phelps says:

    And I know lots of colors, but it’s OK for me because I’m a graphic artist. It’s like how it’s OK for a carpet installer to know about all the different kinds of rugs and piles and shit, but not for a guy that works at a bank.

  3. rae says:

    I’m so glad you said “Rachael writes about interpersonal issues” on the day I write about bongs. LMAO

  4. Mexigogue says:

    Hey look, I’m a freed hostage! Look at the 5th paragraph.

  5. guy in the UNLV jacket says:

    Once they freed you did you say “I’m free at last” like MLK or did you yell “FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEDOM!!!” like bravehart?

  6. Mexigogue says:

    I was saying GIVE US FREE!!! like the guys in Amistad!

  7. Mexigogue says:

    The Stupid Bowl comments have turned up some intriguing one-on-one matchups!

  8. Phelps says:

    I was actually thinking about a similar topic a couple of days ago when I realized that my writing had gotten really angry and violent over the last few weeks. I have decided that it indeed pent-up aggression because I’ve been here at work without a good trial for four months, I haven’t played paintball in a year, and all the hippies have gone into complete batshit mode and aren’t any fun to argue with anymore. I need a good fight. Maybe we should start that thing that we don’t talk about.

  9. Mexigogue says:

    Yeah, that kicks ass!

    Are the rest of you all in?

  10. Phelps says:

    BTW, does the banner mean that you finally say A Clockwork Orange, me fine drougie?

  11. mexigogue says:

    No, not yet. I just felt like changing banners.