Stupid Bowl
I know I’m getting old when the newspaper says the Philadelphia Eagles are going to the Superbowl for the first time in 24 years and I’m like “Nuh uh, they just played the Raiders a little while back and some kid brought the tape in and we watched it in Mrs. Springer’s class.”
It’s been that long since I’ve been in the 6th grade?
Maybe I don’t feel like it’s been that long since commenting with the people on this blog is like having rubber band fights. But time does fly and as evidence that we don’t always realize it I was singing “Oh Sheila” at Leroy’s for karaoke last night and these REALLY big chicks got up and started dancing to it. They must be from that era because they were really getting into it and they evidently knew how to dance but these sumo girls must not have known how they looked. Then it dawned on me: 20 years ago these chicks probably looked fine as HELL when they danced like this and I bet I would have gotten their phone numbers. What a jackass Father Time is.
But the point is since Pittsburgh decided it was more important to turn the ball over than to make it to the Superbowl, I just don’t care about football anymore. I’m going to spend the rest of the winter pontificating on who looks better, Serena Williams or Anna Kournikova. Because nobody wants to watch the stupid Patriots but watching womens tennis is almost like watching the chicks in the beer commercials.
As an aside, since womens tennis gets higher ratings than mens tennis the women players should get more money than the men. And that’s not feminism, that’s capitalism.
Serena Williams wins hands down. I watched her play the other day and she is wonderful. Except for that white scarf or something that was hanging in front of her uniform. It had to be one of her mothers inventions. She is a designer. That means her kids make enough money that now she is suppose to magically become talented in fashion. Just like beyounce Knowles mom. What type of crap is this.
Serena was mentioned in People magazine as one of the worst dressed. Hell, I don’t care what they think, she could make a polyester Burger King uniform look good!
Women make less than the men because they play best two out of 3 and the men play 3 out of 5…..Capitalism does work you win 3 sets you get more than when you win 2 sets
I don’t care if they play a hundred sets, it’s not the amount of sets that brings the $$$ in, it’s ratings. And more people would rather tune in to Kournikova and Williams than Macanroe and Conners.
(I know those guys don’t play any more but I don’t know who does and that sort of proves my point)
That just proves that you are a perv trying to look up the tennis girls skirts….
Guilty!!!
It’s also why I watch womens gymnstics!
You put Ana Kournakova’s head on Serena’s body and bamn! check this out
http://collegehumor.com/?image_id=104250
Holy crap! Put a warning on that shit! Some of us are at work.
my bad R
Wow. I feel good as an American. It is nice to know that, all across the country, from Detroit to Dallas to New York to San Fransisco, we are all united under one onmipresent conviction — we all hate the fucking Eagles. Battery throwing bastards.
I might have to break down and watch American Idol one day:
Hey who wins Serena or Anna?
I think off brains and ability Serena wins rackets down.
Haha! I see I’ve piqued our curiosity with the matchup of all time tennis hoochie-wise. Other tough matchups:
1. King Kong v Godzilla
2. Batman v Superman
3. Dracula v Frankenstein
4. Roe v Wade
5. Bruce Lee v The General Lee
6. Ghengis Khan v Ghandi
7. Qubilah Khan v Chaka Khan
8. Monique v Rachael
9. Aunt Jemimah v Mrs Butterworths
10. Mary Kate v Ashley
Fuck number 8 –I could take her.
haha! I knew that would make you post!
Godzilla: Have you seen what this gut does to Tokyo?
Superman: They don’t call him super for nothing
Dracula: Frankenstein doesn’t have any powers
Rowe vs Wade: Draw
General Lee: Have you ever seen an Asian that can drive?
Ghengis Khan: They didn’t use Ghandi’s DNA to make the ultimate Cobra comander because he is a pussy.
Chaka Khan: It doesn’t get any better than when she sings “I’m every woman”
Monique: She is banned at more drinking establishments than anybody I know
Aunt Jemimah: Just cause I gotta pick a winner
Ashley: Mary Kate is a anerxic coke head
Monique had an across the street neighbor who got banned from a furniture store.
Mexi, I am begining to think you are the problem. The only people that I know, Monique and Tyrone who are banned from anything were banned when they hung out with you….That makes you the head vampire!!
Jesus vs. Santa
Noam Chompsky vs a Brick Wall
George W. Bush vs. Frank J’s “In My World” GWB
Mexi vs. Phelps
Michael Moore vs. Fat Man
John Kerry vs. Martin Sheen
Alex Trebeck vs. Pat Sajak
Donald Rumsfield vs. the Sampsonite Gorilla
Samantha Carter vs. the New Starbuck
Bob the Tomato vs. Spongebob Squarepants
Teletubby vs. Teletubby
Guy vs. the Fembots
Charleton Heston vs. Moses
Sparticus vs. Maximus
Cliff Claven vs. Ken Jennings
Oliver Stone vs. Lee Harvey Oswald
Amy Lee vs. Shirley Manson
Blondie vs. Pat Bennatar
(Gotta stop thinking up girl fights — getting horny)
Bill Gates vs. Steve Balmer
Barbara Bush vs. George Washington
Russel Johnson vs. Al Lewis
Alice vs. Maude (Chainsaw Deathmatch)
The Monkeys vs the Crickets
Dick Trickle vs. ee cummings
Samus vs. the Master Chief
Ford Prefect vs. a Ford Prefect
Ford Prefect vs. Mos Def
Ice Cube vs. Mr Freeze
Bill and Ted vs. Neil and the Sicilian
That’s all I can come up with right now.
Daaaaamn… I am the thread killa!
MEXI V PHELPS???????? I JUST NOTICED THAT!!!!!
Oh yeah. I’m calling you out, biatch. You and me, high noon, Chinese checkers.
How about a crocheting contest? That way if I lose I’ll already have something sharp!
Hey, I thought of some more:
Ted Koppel vs. Howdy Doody
Kevin Smith vs. Robert Smith
Dennis Leary vs. Throat cancer
Drew Carey vs. Drew Barrymore
Captain America vs. Captain Lou Albano
Batman vs. the Weekly World News Batboy
Russ Martin vs. Adam West
Biggie vs. Tupac
The White Iron Man vs. the Black Iron Man
These deserve to be made into a psychological profile test like the MBTI. We can assign values for each answer you would pick for the winner and it would cast you in one of 16 quardants to find your personality type.
Eric Cartman v Stewie!!!
Cotton Hill vs. Donald Rumsfield
Wesley Snipes vs. Will Smith
Cuba Gooding Jr. vs. Wayne Brady (THAT would be a hell of a fight.)
Band of Brothers vs. Saving Private Ryan
Care Bears vs. My Little Pony
Rocky II vs Rocky IV
Alex from A Clockwork Orange vs. Tyler from Fight Club
Ed Asner vs. Charlton Heston
Magnum PI vs. Rockford
Bryant Gumbell v Greg Gumbell
the Gumbell Brothers v Gumby
the gay Japanese guy in Return of the Dragon v the gay black guy in Low Down Dirty Shame
Gary Coleman v Tatoo
Rosie O’donnel v Dr. Atkins
Captain Kirk v Captain Kangaroo
Kenny v Milhouse
Musashi Miyamoto vs. Beatrice Kido
Hell, Sanjuro vs. The Bride would be good enough.
Damn, that last one actually got me serious. Here’s some more:
Sir Frances Drake vs. Lord Nelson
Napoleon vs. Lee
The Rough Riders vs. Ghengis Khan’s Mongols
Julius Caesar vs. Saladin
Grimace v Barney
Don King v Al Sharpton
Oats v Sonny Bono
Darryl Hall v Johnny Bravo
Joan of Arc v Joan Rivers
Winnie the Poo v Grizzly Adams
Mr. Whipple v Arnold Shwarzenegar
We ought to set it up in the same format as the NCAA bracket and have people vote and we can determin e the winner…
Florida v Weezie
Pancho Villa v Bob Vila
Bob Dylan v a hairbrush
Kevin McHale v Frankenstein
Hell yeah, Florida vs. Weezie. And Edith Bunker vs. Gracie Allen.
KITT vs. Blue Thunder
Matt Damon vs. a bowl of mashed potatoes
The Wired Science kids vs. the Revenge of the Nerds kids
Morris Day and the Time vs. George Clinton and the Funkadelics
George Clinton vs. Bill Clinton
Milli Vanili vs. Ashlee Simpson
Pam Anderson vs. the SAT test
O.J. Simpson vs. Jessica Simpson
Dr. J vs Dr. Dre
Ice-T vs. New Coke
Stone Temple Pilots vs. the Blue Angels
Predator vs. a Predator drone with Hellfire missiles
Arnold vs. Hey Arnold
Stewie Griffin vs. Hey Arnold
Peter Griffen vs. Peter Arnette
Tricia Takanawa vs. Connie Chung