Circuit Court

lady: Hi, I’m stupid! I’m going to act against my own interests and that of my children by applying for a divorce even though I’m not financially able to deal with the repercussions. This is clearly an irrational move that means I’m probably unfit to be a parent. One ticket to poverty please!

clerk: Not so fast! We, the government, have created a program for people like you that rewards irrationality and punishes ability. Say, you don’t happen to have any ability we can punish, do you?

lady: No. I made it through eleven years of public school and my only skills are my ability to apply for foodstamps and my uncanny government-program detector. But my husband has ability. He can even bring home checks that don’t come from the welfare office which I totally don’t understand.

clerk: Magnifico! You can deliver the death blow to your marriage right here and all under the pretense of ‘the best interests of the children’, even though you and I both know that children raised in single parent homes are statistically more likely to be fucked up in every category. I’m certain your husband wouldn’t agree to fund such a harebrained scheme but we’re the government so we’ll use force since might makes right. We’ll get his money by hook or by crook, more likely by crook if you believe in old fashioned concepts like property rights and the marriage contract!

lady: So I won’t have to be poor?

clerk: Oh, you’ll still raise your kids in technical poverty but this way you’ll have money for personal grooming.

lady: Nails?

clerk: Girl, getcher hur did! Just sign here!

lady: S – sign??

clerk: (sigh) Just make an ‘X’.

lady: HAHAHAHAHA! I’m make an ‘ex’ all right!

(later that month)

dude: Divorce papers? This is an outrage against our selves and most of all against our children. It’s clearly an irrational act, poorly thought out and it will never work. She can go ahead and leave but when she sees how hard it is she will come back on her own accord and I will deal kindly with her. This bad idea will die in the fires of practical application. Silly misguided whore!

government: That’s what you think. Stick ’em up!

24 Responses to “Circuit Court”

  1. TB says:

    silly misguided whore…

    dude: maybe I shouldn’t have married that dragon.

  2. Mexigogue says:

    I should lay off making blog entries in the wee hours of morning. They always come out mean spirited and angry.

    Actually that’s any hour of the day.

  3. The "D" says:

    Okay Buddy no more Morning Blogs for you. I think you take your anger at being up so early on the blog. Damn dude!!! It might be time to see the couch “MAN”!

  4. Mexigogue says:

    Nice to see you back. I was beginning to presume you had passed on.

  5. The "D" says:

    I have a pool story that must be told ASAP!!

    I played this guy yesterday that pissed me off so bad. We get ready to play and he is doing the regular (can’t play bluff stuff) — puffing cigarette fast, walking around the table fast, chalking the cue too much, talking too much, …….. you know the drill. So I sit in the cut and let the guy break. He miscues and proceeds to talk about how many years it has been since that happened. YADDA YADDA YADDA!!!

    Now the guy was mexican so I assumed he saw ramiro play once and thought some of his greatness may have rubbed off. Mike you know that every Mexican in Lansing that plays pool and knows Ramiro thinks they are him at some point and time. Just like I think I am Supa Fly when I go to the Silver Dollar. But I don’t want to talk about that!!

    I break and proceed to runout! I miss the 8 Ball and the guy wins and struts,,,,, STRUTSSSSSS around the table. Did I say that this stick Strutted around the table?

    So we get to the next game and I am so pissed I have a woody. I make several GREAT shoots and get the jerk off the table. He then looks at his team and proceeds to apologize for losing. Now the fact that I out played the hell out of him had nothing to do with it!! YEAH RIGHT!

    Now I proceed to runout again the 3rd game after another miscue by this jerk. 2 Ramiro type banks and I win the game. My team looked at me like they could not believe it! I shake his hand without looking at him. In pool halls everywhere this is very bad. You should always look a loser….. I mean opponent in the face if you win….. I mean whoop his ass..

    Hey this is not my blog….. Sorry Mike. Time to cut and paste!!!

  6. guy in the UNLV jacket says:

    hell of a pool story. Mike you take a very over simplified view of divorice and social services……

  7. Mexigogue says:

    Dave what team was that? That sounds like the guy I played 2 weeks ago.

  8. Mexigogue says:

    Last night I played just like in my dream on my last game! I was sinking shots left and right and getting the leaves I wanted. I kept hearing people remarking on how well I was shooting.

    I finally had a shot that was makeable but was gonna leave me nothing because the balls were clustered on the other side of the table so I called a safe. I made my shot and my opponent had to break the cluster. Then I sank the rest of my balls and ended up on the 8-ball! I smile and walk over and MISS THE SHOT!!! Then my opponent sinks all his and wins. The end.

  9. Mexigogue says:

    Mike you take a very over simplified view of divorice and social services……

    Gary, I know I told you about the time I went to court and Carol and I both got joint custody and then they crunched their numbers and said I still had to pay her child support. I asked why since we had them equal time. They said because she makes less than you. So I asked “So if I take a voluntary pay cut at my job, then she’ll have to pay me???” They looked really uncomfortable and said, “Well, yes.” I looked at Carol and damn near took a pay cut.

    Sometimes the truth is simple.

  10. guy in the UNLV jacket says:

    That’s your fault for not having her killed in late ’96. No Carol no child support!!!

  11. guy in the UNLV jacket says:

    Man you were hanging out at the Mosque by then I am sure you could have paid a guy 100 afterlife virgins to walk into her job wearing a vest full of dynamite….

  12. O.J. says:

    See? I ain’t crazy!

  13. Scott Peterson says:

    AND YOU KNOW THISSS! MANNNNN!!!!!!

  14. guy in the UNLV jacket says:

    Or men could just stop getting chicks with no earning potential pregnent. Man you gotta interview those bitches and find out their career plans…..

  15. Mexigogue says:

    Ok. You got me there.

  16. The "D" says:

    Mike we played a lame ass team from the “Colonial”. He kept talking to the balls “Get in the pocket Sir” — “Stop right there Sir”.

    I’m like shoot the damn balls moron!

    I heard weird approach to the 72 virgins. Mike no offense but the guy stated that you have to doubt a religion that promises Poonani for true believers.

    I didn’t say it he did!

  17. Mexigogue says:

    “D”, it’s actually pretty tough to offend me. I think the last time I was offended was when this white guy at Leroy’s referred to me as “bato.” The time before that it was a black guy who called me the same thing. But other than that, it’s tough to offend me.

    Hey, that reminds me: what did the Mexican chick say when the two houses fell on her?

    A: Get off me homes!

  18. Mexigogue says:

    And yeah that sounds like the same guy. He yelled at the 8 saying “GET IN THERE SON! GET IN THERE SON!”

  19. Robert Blake says:

    I want a redo. I didn’t have all the info. What’s the deal with letting OJ go and then royally fucking Peterson? I deserved some disclosure! Beretta deserves betta!

  20. Ike Turner says:

    I’m an underachiever.

  21. guy in the UNLV jacket says:

    what is bato?

  22. Phelps says:

    I think he — or they — mean “vato”. Next time, I would tell them that they are saying it wrong. It is pronounced “pedo”.

  23. guy in the UNLV jacket says:

    speaking of Pedos I read an article that they are active scooping up orphans in the wake of a Tsunami.
    Man those guys don’t miss a trick

  24. Mexigogue says:

    I read about someone who tried to sell a web site domain for tsunami relief. I was pissed that I didn’t think of that.