A Case of the Mondays

Is it too soon to start referring to that big Asian storm as “the Poo Nonny”?

I finally had that dream. This pool player told me yesterday that she had a dream that she got so good at pool that Ramiro called her up wanting to play for money. They agreed to ten games, a hundred dollars a game. I said “I’ve never had that pool players dream, but I know Dave has. He said he dreamed he was so good that people were coming in from everywhere to try and beat him.” I felt strange that among people who play pool frequently everyone seems to have had that dream except me.

Then last night I dreamed I was running the table, rack after rack, set upon set. Dave and Lauri were alternating against me and neither one of them could get me off the table. Every shot was easier than crack whore; it was just a matter of where I wanted the cue placement. One of them said “Dammit Mike, we can’t beat you. Your stroke is down.” I laughed and said “I play this game all the time, it had to pay off sooner or later.”

Then I woke up.

Is Vernors national yet? Or is it still just in this part of the country? If so, y’all are missing out. No, that’s not a paid plug. The stuff is just good.

Finally, Russ Martin says that since Jesus died for our sins then we might as well take advantage and that if we were to not sin it would be considered rude.

21 Responses to “A Case of the Mondays”

  1. guy in the UNLV jacket says:

    I have a fucked up pool story for you! This weekend I was in Las Vegas staurday afternoon/evening we were in a sports bar watching the bowl games. I saw a pool table and decided to play. I was playing pretty good and won a couple of games. It came time to play the first dude I played again. I was kicking his ass feeling good about myself then his wife decides she needs to help him out and on my next 3 shots she puts her bare titties directly above the holes I was shooting at. I missed 2 and made one. Finally after the laughter dies down. I get to the 8 ball. I have an easy shot at it. The guys wife gets up and moves in front of the hole, pulls up her dress and starts fingering herself right fucking there. Needless to say I missed the shot and lost the game. True story boys and girls.

  2. Mexigogue says:

    That. . . .. is worth the price of admission. Didn’t anybody tell that guy that’s not the kind of girl you marry?

    “Hey cool! I asked this slut to marry me and she said yes!”

  3. guy in the UNLV jacket says:

    No Vernors out west

  4. Mexigogue says:

    I got down to the 8 ball against Brainard yesterday, I’m glad he didn’t start fingering himself.

  5. guy in the UNLV jacket says:

    or put his balls on the table

  6. Mexigogue says:

    Hey, I have league tonight. I’m gonna try that!

  7. Phelps says:

    Do the old hillbilly trick, say, “oh no, I sat in some gum” and then wait for him to look.

    And what kind of bar can some ho walk into and keep her titties out for three shots? I mean, flashing you once I get, but just letting them swing?

    And if she lets them touch the table, is that a foul?

  8. Phelps says:

    And I’m going to pass on the Fagyo soda.

  9. guy in the UNLV jacket says:

    Pehlps asked “And what kind of bar can some ho walk into and keep her titties out for three shots?”
    Answer: the best damn bar ever!! and Leroy’s.

    She didn’t just let them swing, she put them away when they wern’t needed.

  10. Mexigogue says:

    Paul (the bartender) actually kicked this one chick out once who flipped up her t-shirt and started walking around bare breasted. I complained that he shouldn’t have kicked her out.

  11. guy in the UNLV jacket says:

    I can’t get away from titties. I just got back from lunch. I had to go get some stuff and there right in the middle of the mall was some lady breast feeding a baby. It’s raining titties

  12. Mexigogue says:

    Now there’s a visual!

    Hey we should market a Michael Jackson Potato-head. It can come with various noses and hair attachments (including a flaming one for the Pepsi commercial). We can also have his daddy, Papa Joe, with a pissed off looking face and a swtich. We might even throw in some baby redskins for Michael to molest!

  13. Mexigogue says:

    Hey, I just thought of a great marketing slogan for Viagra:

    The Oldies but Woody!

  14. guy in the UNLV jacket says:

    Dude I used to have a Michael jackson Potato head. I quit playing with it because the nose kept falling off

  15. guy in the UNLV jacket says:

    I have a question for the Muslim extremists out there! If the “Western Infidel” nations hate Muslims so much why are they the only ones helping the Tsunami victims in Indonesia? I don’t see any Al-Qaida, Saudi Arabian, Taliban, Muslim Brotherhood or Hama relief ships or Aid workers helping out their Islamic brothers and sisters

  16. Mexigogue says:

    The West doesn’t hate Muslims, it just hates Islam. Like hte Christians loving the sinner but hating the sin I suppose.

  17. Phelps says:

    Actually, there are a lot of Muslim extremists helping out; the difference is they won’t help you if you don’t say you are Muslim. There was actually a question about whether or not your zakat could go to helping tsunami victims in general in one of those “Ask A Mullah” things, and the answer was no, it would only count if you knew that it was only going to Muslims.

    Real genial guys, those mullahs.

  18. Phelps says:

    That and the Muslim extremists are really geared more towards killing giant groups of people, and are kind of lost when it comes to keeping giant groups of people from being killed. They really haven’t put much thought into it.

  19. Mexigogue says:

    Every time I read “mullah”, I think of a walking, breathing dollar sign. I don’t think that’s what it means though.

  20. Phelps says:

    Actually, I think you have it exactly.

  21. The "D" says:

    Why did I have to miss this blog???????????????????

    Damn I have no comment at all now! It’s too late!