Out of Town

Going to a meeting out of town today. Unable to hit the blog. Yesterday I called this chick who I shall leave unnamed since I just gave her the blog address. It was like the first time in a year I’ve called a new phone number. I wanted to be smoothe:

her: hello?

me: Hey, I’m calling for (so-and-so)

her: speaking.

me: (long pause) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ..
You’re a jive turkey

her: Oh hey Mike, what’s up?

me: How did you know it was me?

her: nobody else i know goes around calling people jive turkeys

me: I could have been George Jefferson

Her: That’s a valid point. Hey you know what? I need you to come over here and do me!

me: Ok

her: Wait, I didn’t say that at all. You’re just changing this conversation for the sake of the blog!

me: Damn straight!

Her: We know in reality I wouldn’t touch you with a ten foot pole!

me: Geez, if I had a nickel for every time I heard that! Oh, hold on, I have another call. click. Hello?

Lauri: I just called to tell you I wouldn’t touch you with a ten foot pole either

me: Dammit! Forget you! Oh wait, there’s the door. Oh shit. It’s Rae.

Rae: ME NEITHER!!!!!

me: You’re all jive turkeys. Screw you guys, I’m going home!

35 Responses to “Out of Town”

  1. Ghandi from the "D" says:

    Mike you are one of the funniest people I know! This is a classic blog.

  2. rae says:

    Hi-lar-ious!!

  3. Mexigogue says:

    Ok the first part of that story was true. I actually did call her a jive turkey. The rest of it I made up.

    Leaving for Brighton in 9 minutes. Meetings suck but I get to ride with Kelley. She’s the not-ugliest person here.

    (can’t get me for harassment on that one, she has the blog address too)

  4. guy in the UNLV Jacket says:

    Crack is wack!!!

  5. Phelps says:

    I know crack is wack! Carl Malone told me on a PSA. I figure if anyone knows, it is Carl.

  6. Ghandi from the "D" says:

    Phelps are you on XBOX Live?

    George Gervin told me that “Weed is Weird” that kept me away from the stuff my whole life.

  7. Karl Malone says:

    You always gotta do what Karl Malone say! Karl Malone say they ought to call Diabeties, Livabeties that way people won’t feel so bad about having it..

  8. Phelps says:

    I don’t have an Xbox. Never saw a set of games worthy buying it for. GTA3 +GTA3-VC is what got me to buy a PS2. My brother is thinking of getting an XBOX to play Fable on, thought, so if he does I’ll have one.

  9. rae says:

    Phelpsie- Halo 2 is the only reason you NEED to buy an x-box- seriously.

  10. Phelps says:

    I don’t care how good the game is — no single game is $180 good.

  11. guy in the UNLV jacket says:

    they got it for PS2?

  12. rae says:

    Sorry- was at lunch- no UNLV they don’t have it for PS2- its put out by Microsoft so there is a PC version of it and maybe a Mac version but definitely not a PS2 version.

  13. guy in the UNLV jacket says:

    My PC is for porn only!!!! No games!!

  14. rae says:

    Got any good vintage porns?

    Baw chicka baw baw

  15. Ghandi from the "D" says:

    Hey I am thinking about buying a computer through my special plan at Ford. Any ideas? I have to start my home office and I need the most current system possible without breaking the bank.

    Our deals are all through Dell so please let me know what the collective believes to be the best system for the “D”.

    Thanks and Goodnight!

  16. Karl Malone says:

    I went to Australia once, and it was a really nice place. I was even thinking of buying a condo there on the beach, but then I met this asshole who called himself Aidan, and ended up on the next plane to America.

    True story. I’m Karl Malone, and now you know.

  17. rae says:

    Listen “Karl” give me your address and I’ll mail u a plane ticket to Australia so you and the little bitch can be together” How’s that sound??

  18. Ghandi from the "D" says:

    The Official blog of the “D” is up and running. I will be posting whenever I am not at work. Mexi has it under Musty something or other!

  19. Ghandi from the "D" says:

    It Kinda sucks now but I will get better. I always do!

  20. Karl Malone says:

    >Listen “Karl” give me your address and I’ll mail
    >u a plane ticket to Australia so you and the
    >little bitch can be together” How’s that sound??

    nah, I have my eye on Phelpsie. I love those macho, conservative types. I’ve heard he has a big gun.

  21. Phelps says:

    D, you need to put your blog URL in under “URL” when you comment. That is the best way to pimp your blog.

  22. guy in the UNLV jacket says:

    You are not Karl Malone. Karl Malone always says “Karl Malone say” before he says anything

  23. Phelps says:

    BTW, you guys do know that legally, I own every comment on here and can do what I want with them, right? Like, if I wanted to change a comment, I can?

    I’m just saying. Like, a hypothetical. Mexi can do the same thing here, BTW.

  24. Mexigogue says:

    Wow. . . . You all have had one helluva day!!! I hate meetings but y’all represented!

  25. Phelps says:

    Heh, Mexi gets all the stuff via email BEFORE I start policing, and then has to check the blog for the end result. I bet he was damned near having a panic attack trying to get the blog to load.

    D, if your employee program is the same as ours, I would get a Dimension 4700 with the XP Pro (unless you get a corp version since it is a home office), 160 gig HD, 1gig RAM (you don’t want to skimp on those), the single DVD+RW drive (for putting movies/pr0n you steal online onto disks to watch on your DVD player), and the Radeon card, since you are a gamer. On our program, that comes out to $1035.

    Of course, I would buy a Mac, but that’s me. Actually, I did buy a Mac, but they give me a laptop here at the shop so I didn’t need a WinTel at the house.

  26. Mexigogue says:

    Heh, Mexi gets all the stuff via email BEFORE I start policing, and then has to check the blog for the end result. I bet he was damned near having a panic attack trying to get the blog to load.

    I saw all the comments in my inbox and I was like mother of God! Paydirt!

  27. Ghandi from the "D" says:

    Thank you very much Phelps. I will do all my research now. I have a laptop for my job when I work at home. this computer is for all my personal stuff that I don’t want the company spying on. Thank you very much!!

  28. okay just input the url info. Thanks for that also Phelps!

  29. guy in the UNLV jacket says:

    “D” you might want to put the Video game away for a little while thoise things lead to tragedy especially for you Detroiters

    http://www.freep.com/news/locway/shooting30e_20041130.htm

  30. Phelps says:

    Man that story sucks. THEY DIDN’T TELL US WHICH GAME THEY WERE FIGHTING OVER!!!

    I bet it was some stupid game, like “The Guy Show” instead of something cool like HALO 2 or San Andreas.

  31. TB says:

    Halo 2 is a great game… had much fun watching terrorence blast fools in the head while turning on the “teamspeak” option and listening to 12 year olds say shit a lot..

  32. thuperman says:

    http://andrewsullivan.com/

    NOW, SOUTH AFRICA: Breaking news from South Africa: the Supreme Court of Appeal there has just ruled in favor of ending discrimination in marriage. The ruling was 4 – 1. Money quote:

    “In terms of sections 8(3), 39(2) and 173 of the Constitution, the common law concept of marriage is developed to embrace same-sex partners as follows: ‘Marriage is the union of two persons to the exclusion of all others for life.'”

    The decision could, in theory, be appealed to the Constitutional Court, which would have the final say, but they are considered likely to rule in favor of equality as well. The opinion, by the way, was written by the Honorable Edwin Cameron, an openly gay (and openly HIV-positive) judge on the court. I don’t have a link yet, but will post one as soon as I do. Canada, Belgium, Holland, South Africa are now lining up behind equality. Britain has just passed a bill guaranteeing all marital rights to gay couples under the rubric of “civil partnership.” Spain’s ruling in favor of full marriage rights is looming. In Massachusetts, it looks as if marriage equality is here to stay.

    ** I love the way you’ve left the comment about your big gun. DO you have a big gun, Phelpsie? I’d like to play with it someday. love, thuperman.

  33. thuperman says:

    >Heh, Mexi gets all the stuff via email BEFORE I start policing

    That’s good to know. I still get to have intimate, albeit now one-way, chats with Mexi, the reason I’m here afterall.

    >, and then has to check the blog for the end result.

    I don’t like the way you are emasculating Mexi. Let him be his own man!

  34. That was a messed up story UNLV. Now I am not that serious about video games. Well only on Madden 2005 when the computer cheats.