Nasty Pastors

The mother of my two middle children and I have had countless religious debates regarding the things she says to our children. My theological knowledge base is more extensive than hers but she always falls back on the “The pastor says this” or “Are you a pastor?” I’ve always considered this a non point but given the amount of stress she has always put on the title of pastor, I’ve always made sure to explain to my children that religious figureheads are not infallible and that not everything said or done in the name of God is gold. I’ve made sure to show them the news reports on pastors being tried for manslaughter for inadvertently killing children in corporal punishments and in the laying on of hands rituals. I thought I had made my point quite well in showing them those cases. Now imagine how fast I called them to the computer when I read this case about a pastor who used the devil to help him sex women in his congregation. My daughter read the article then laughed and said “nasty pastors!”

The case in question is not an indictment of all religious persons. But it is a case against putting too much faith in people or titles. Not only in cases of the title of pastor, which to me is akin to saying voodoo guy, but even in the titles or persons of the sciences, like doctors or lawyers. I was debating with another person one time and she said “Well so and so said this and he’s a doctor. She said the word with such awe and reverence as if that was supposed to instantly end the discussion. I don’t buy it.

All you need to do is pick up a medical journal or look at some appellate briefs to see that there are doctors and lawyers on opposite sides of issues. Well our side is right because we have a doctor. Oh but wait. . . The other side has a doctor too. Oh jeez. Now I don’t know what to think.

I think you should think. A pastor’s opinion is only better than mine if his point is better. If a doctor tells you that 60% of kindergarteners ought to be on Ritalin, I say get a different doctor. If a lawyer tells you that McDonalds is responsible for making people fat, laugh his ass out the door and hit him in the back of the head with a double cheeseburger from the dollar menu. And if a pastor tells you that you have to have sex with him in order to protect yourself from demons. . . then ignore the title and do some thinking of your own. . . or you’re gonna get f*cked.

16 Responses to “Nasty Pastors”

  1. guy in the UNLV Jacket says:

    Pastors are out to protect their investment and make $ just like the next guy. He is going to tell you what he needs to tell you to keep you coming back and putting money into his church coffers. I look at pastors as the churche’s sales people…

  2. Mexigogue says:

    Well that pastor definitely got some bang for the buck!

  3. guy in the UNLV Jacket says:

    I just read your article and that chick deserves it. If she is stupid enough to fall for the old “Devils is you, let me fuck him out of you” game then that is on her. That would make a great Springer episode

  4. Mexigogue says:

    Oh I agree she deserves it. There was a great poker hustler who said it is immoral to let a sucker keep his money. Same applies here.

  5. guy in the UNLV Jacket says:

    we finally found a house yesterday, after months of looking and arguing. We went to a builder and are having one built. Now the only problem is I gotta wait until July until it is finished

  6. Mexigogue says:

    Are you gonna have a pool table and a dart board?

  7. guy in the UNLV Jacket says:

    No, the wife doesn’t like pool tables. That gives me the excuse to still go out drinking and playing pool

  8. TB says:

    My priest reads the bible so I don’t have to.

    It’s great – and he does it for free! what a deal.

  9. Phelps says:

    Catholicism always seemed like the lowest-maintenance version of Christianity, once you get past the whole “graven image” thing. It seems like the AOL version of Christianity. The priest tells you what to do, you make a laundry list of things that you shouldn’t have done (but will continue to do anyways) and then he tells you how much your sinner tax is. You pay it, and if you happen to die right then, you get into heaven. Pretty sweet deal.

  10. Ghandi from the "D" says:

    Come On Mike I cannot wait to read the blog about lastnights “Pool Hustle” Extravaganza~~~~

    Better than T.V. Shucks Rever even gave me some money for loaning the table 1 set of quarters. What a night!

  11. guy in the UNLV Jacket says:

    Fill us in Mexi

  12. Ghandi from the "D" says:

    I have to let Mike tell you. It was one of the sweetest hustles I have ever seen. That includes the time I robbed the beer delivery truck with my friend Rufus when we were little. Remember when the sliding doors did not lock!!!!! Sweet! Mickey’s Malt Liq at 12 years old!

  13. guy in the UNLV jacket says:

    Y’all was some ghetto little dudes robbing Mickey’s man that some bad stuff. I remember back in the day buying 40 ouncers of that stuff for like $1.29. mmmm Mickey’s big mouth

  14. Mexigogue says:

    Give me five minutes!

  15. Ghandi from the "D" says:

    I remember doing the same thing UNLV

  16. Phelps says:

    Malt Liquor. It’s still too expensive when you can get a bottle of Boone’s Farm for $1.99.