Veracity in Lectures

I’ve been debating with myself about whether or not to post this. It’s a helluva situation but it hits very close to home. My fourteen year old son got a lecture from his mom about some less than stellar grades. He said I should be expecting a call from her but he one point of the lecture went like this:

She is like “I’m going to pull you out of I.B and im going to talk to your dad about it and you are not going to have a word to say, when I was in high school I had strait a’s and never had a B or a C or anything all through 9th 10th 11th and 12th grade.” So I
was thinking, if my mom had strait a’s how come she didn’t go to college.

Ok, without touching on the veracity of her statement both because I’ve never seen any direct evidence on her grades one way or the other and because my son hits the blog so I don’t want to make any remarks that might seem disparaging, I’ll let that go with an ooooookey dokey. . . But I do want to add my thoughts on setting the bar too high.

I don’t mean that we as parents should not demand excellence and accountability from our children. We can and we should. When I say setting the bar too high, I mean that if we portray ourselves as superhuman and without flaws, we are setting an example that doesn’t jibe with reality or at least one that our children can’t relate to. If my son had to face a bully and he was scared and I were to say to him “Son I had to face a thousand bullies in my time and I didn’t have one bit of fear” that wouldn’t be very helpful. It also wouldn’t be true. If you have an issue, then by all means address that issue. But examples should always be realistic in order to be helpful.

Like when my friend Tyrone’s Bible thumping mother told him that premarital sex was “Nothin’ but the devil!” He was like yeah right. And then he didn’t have any premarital sex all through high school, but it wasn’t because of what his mother told him. It was because he had no game. The “nothin’ but the devil” lecture from his mom was not realistic or helpful. A better approach would have been “Premarital sex is fun as hell but it can mess up your future and if you do it I’m going to stab you, ergo no future to worry about.” Or something along those lines.

Truth be told, I think my son has the same procrastination gene I have and this needs to be addressed otherwise life is gonna be real tough. But I will begin by saying hey look I have the same tendency and this is the problems it causes me. So maybe as I talk to him about addressing his procrastination issue, I need to also address mine.

(I say that but it took me 2 hours to finish this entry)

24 Responses to “Veracity in Lectures”

  1. guy in the UNLV jacket says:

    Interesting quandry you have. I don’t believe setting a high bar will harm Jordon at all. The kid is smart. I also don’t think giving him a lecture about “I got all A’s so you should to” is worth a damn. Geting all A’s ’cause your momma got all A’s isn’t exactly the greatest motivator for a kid. I think you need to find out why his grades are slipping, Is he just fucking around and not doing his work? Is he stoopid? Is he in over streached extracuricular actives?
    When my grades slipped in ninth grade, I had to be at the kitchen table from 7:00 8:00 doing homework every night. If I had more than 1 hours homework, I would be there however long it took. If I had less, I was still at that GD table studying. At the time I hated my mother for it but by the time 10th grade came around I had my act together and didn’t have a mandatory study time anymore. I don’t know if this will work with Jordon but either way you need to light a fire under his ass and instill a sense of urgency that he needs to realize his potential and not be another average joe

  2. Mexigogue says:

    Setting the bar as in get perfect grades is great. Setting the bar as in look I have no flaws is not.

    My point is that to say hey look you have X problem, I’ve had to deal with the same issue in myself and here is how I chose to deal with it. Like with me when I was taking business law classes at LCC I made my grades into a competition with this chick who sat next to me. If she got a 93 and I got a 92 I was pissed! It motived me and I ended up doing really well in all my business law classes. I think the issue with him is motivation just like it was with me.

  3. guy in the UNLV jacket says:

    I agree with you on that. How else is Kim handling the siutaion? Has she tried anything besides a get all A’s or else rant? How about some carrots and sticks?

  4. Mexigogue says:

    I think she already tried stabbing him with a carrot. Now she’s gonna move on to hitting him with a stick.

  5. guy in the UNLV jacket says:

    No no no she has it all wrong!!!! She is supposed to poke his eyes out with the stick and use the carrot in place of his nose!!

  6. Phelps says:

    My grades went to hell when I turned 12 because I was a lazy asshole.

  7. Mexigogue says:

    When I was in school people used to try and cheat off of me from time to time. Once in science class I noticed this girl looking at my paper. So for the question “what is an inclined plane?” I answered “An inclined plane was a fighter/bomber plane used primarily in World War II.” After the girl copied my answer I erased it and wrote the correct answer on my paper.

  8. Thuperman says:

    Well, ithn’t that just thuper!!

  9. Escalatario says:

    I’m gonna get you if it’s the last thing I do thuperman!!!

  10. Thuperman says:

    I’m thcratch you mith-ter ethcalator-boy! WEEEEEEEE!!!!

  11. Dear Sir:

    I am writing to you to object to the already demeaning homo-erotic tone these comments have taken. Several of my former nemeses were homosexuals, and none had a speech impediment or considered scratching a form of super-power. I demand that you return to your normal pattern of discoursing on billiards and hairy crack whores.

    Hugs and Kisses,
    Sir Fellatio, Captain, Her Royal Majesty’s Butt Bandits (Retired)

  12. Dear Sir:

    I am writing to you to object to the objection just submitted to your website. This is obviously a forgery, as evidenced by the 1998 model Digimatic keyboard that it was composed on. Any reputable expert could tell you that all Digimatic products are quite heterosexual and would never be used by a queer superhero, and would be quickly ruined by the spittle issueing from any gay user talking while he typed.

    I demand that you issue an immediate retraction.

    Danielle Rather, CBS/USMC (Retired, medical)

  13. Adian says:

    I am gay and I talk with a lisp!

  14. Al Gore says:

    Dear Sirs: I will not have you yahoos using my invention for such a twisted purpose. Cease and desist.

  15. Aidan says:

    >instill a sense of urgency that he needs to
    >realize his potential and not be another average
    >joe

    why is it a crime to be just another average joe?

    Mexi, shouldn’t you be providing a better example for your kid re: your behaviour when interaction with minoritiy groups? 🙂

  16. Aidan says:

    if I’m crazy enough to have a kid, i’ll have to come here for parenting advice.

  17. thuperman says:

    Mexi’s son is a member of a minority group stoopid!

  18. guy in the UNLV jacket says:

    Adian
    Don’t you have some Aborignies to opress?

  19. Aidan says:

    >Mexi’s son is a member of a minority group
    >stoopid

    is he bashing up ‘fags’ at school? if he is, we’ll know where that is coming from.

  20. Aidan says:

    >Don’t you have some Aborignies to opress?

    it’s more fun oppressing you with my flaming, homosexual ways. who knows, maybe I’ll move to Michigan, take up pool, invite 1000 of my closest, dearest and most flaming gay friends to move with me.

  21. Aidan says:

    >Don’t you have some Aborignies to opress?

    Actually, we’ve trained them so well they practically oppress themselves now.

    am i so very annoying to you? maybe i’ll go annoy mr. phelps instead.

  22. guy in the UNLV jacket says:

    Actually you are entertaining with your ignorance of life in the United States…I personally haven’t seen Mexi bash any fags and I’ve known him for about 20 years. As a matter of fact he works in the HIV/AIDS field and is a pretty tolerant fellow. Adian I think you confuse tolerance with acceptance. Everybody here tolerates homo’s and nobody is going to go out and opress anybody. People treat you like shit because you are an ASS and spout ridiclious opinions and falsehoods about living in America when you know nothing about living here…..

  23. Mexigogue says:

    Although most gay rights activists I know hate Bush, they can be very much like him in the extreme “You’re either with us or against us” mentality. I’m kind of like Moe Szyslak on the Simpsons.

    “Thanks Homer, but I’m not your friend. I’m really more of a well wisher, in that I don’t wish you any specific harm.”

  24. Phelps says:

    I’m more of a general misanthrope rather than a gay basher. The problem is that so many queers also happen to be hippies, and I do hate hippies.

    Damned hippies.