Save Me from Myself

I was at a Division meeting yesterday. The subject was health disparities in people of color communities, specifically the higher rates of diabetes, heart disease, and lung cancer among minorities. People were discussing health screening and awareness campaigns that were designed to educate people about what’s good and bad for you. Then during the brain storm one guy made a statement that made me want to yell out internet acronyms like WTF and OMFG!!

“Since you’re talking about how most of the shop owners in our communities are Arabs” the young black dude began, “when are we gonna start talking about talking to these Arab business owners and taking licences away from those that sell stuff that’s bad for you, like places that sell packets of Ramen noodles like five for a dollar? That stuff has got too much salt, it’s not good for you, and something needs to be done about that!”

Just look at the question. The unspoken premise is help me. Since I’m too stupid to be left to my own choices as a consumer, come help me by penalizing a business owner for not caring about my health. Never mind that if I don’t care about my own health then why in the hell should the business owner? Never mind that using Ramen noodles in moderation is perfectly safe and others might enjoy doing so, since I’m too stupid to know how to eat right I need the government to wage an assault on local businesses on my behalf, regulating what they can and can’t sell to willing customers. Never mind that if this motherfucker gives a damn about his own community why doesn’t he open his own damn store and sell health food instead of bitching about what the Arab business owner is selling.

Nobody’s putting a gun to your head and saying buy a 40. Nobody is making you smoke cigarettes. Nobody is forcing you to jam your pie-hole full of Ramen noodles three times a day. If you are doing that it’s because you’re excercising your own freedom of choice as a consumer to make a decision. Why is the solution for bad individual choices always government intervention? Help and save me from myself. I don’t know how to act like a rational human being.

In the interest of self discosure I drink at the bar at night, work during the day, run and lift weights during the week, eat turkey subs when I want to be healthy, and consume salty asian noodles when I want to be bad. These decisions are mine and spring from my rights an an individual. You can have my noodles when you pry them from my cold, dead fingers!

Thankfully our division director told this guy that we’re looking more towards effecting behavior change from the standpoint of the individual, not cracking down on businesses for selling legal products. The guy didn’t say anything after that but what bothers me is that I know in his mind he’s still hatching Draconian government plots. And there are others who are of the same mindset. How long can we stave off more attacks on individual rights in the name of the masses or in the name of the children?

16 Responses to “Save Me from Myself”

  1. HMT says:

    you’ve never had a gun to your head, forcing you to buy a 40? I thought you lived in Detroit, or near it. In fact I remember you talking about a police standoff across the street last week.

    You can’t bullshit a bullshitter caucasio, I’m sure that you’ve had plenty of cigarettes and booze without your own consent – like when you wanted some quality ass, or when South Park demanded you be drunk to watch it.

  2. Mexigogue says:

    Southpark did that??? Where was I?????

  3. Back of of the guy at the meeting. He may be on to something. I think Arab owned liquor stores should be included in the patriot act. Think about it Arabs are selling Raman Noodles. Raman Noodles are Asian. North Korea is in Asia. The North Koreans are behind this plot and should be taken out immediatly. To think everybody scoffed at the notion of a North Korea/Al-Qaida plot. We have the proof Mexi’s communist co-worker figured it all out….

  4. Mexigogue says:

    Later on when that guy wasn’t looking I pointed my fingers like a gun to another co-worker and said (in Arab accent) “TAKE RAMEN NOODLES! TAKE TWO!!”

  5. Phelps says:

    I was going to bitch about how that guy got a pass on blatent racism just because he was black, but then Guy convinced me.

    Really though, that guy is a total bigot. I mean, think about if I said this: “when are we gonna start talking about talking to these black business owners and taking licences away from those that sell stuff that’s bad for you, like places that sell fried chicken like two pieces for a dollar? That stuff has got too much grease, it’s not good for you, and something needs to be done about that!”

    Shit, you couldn’t pick up what would be left of me with a sponge. Why? Because the point is that someone who says that is a bigot against blacks, just like this guy is a bigot against Arab. Plus, I love fried chicken, the greasier the better. And the black places always have the good greasy chicken, and they are cheaper too. I like Williams Chicken best, but Henderson Chicken is good too.

    Except I gotta go to the wrong hood for Hendersons.

  6. Mexigogue says:

    Oh my God! At the Detroit Health Department. . . The cafeteria downstairs, all the food is fortified with grease!! Greens? Pork. Beans? Pork. I ordered green beans. SLATHERED IN PORK FAT!! I spit it out and got some peanut butter crackers from a vending machine!

  7. R says:

    You should have shot that guy after the meeting. There are already too many people running around with draconian schemes.

    That wasn’t even a good one.

  8. Mexigogue says:

    The Division Director said “Rather than trying to shut down the store, how about carpooling with others in your area so you can go to the fresh fruit market?”

    The guy just got silent then. You could hear his mind going “Never mind, that would require initiative and action and I’m not about that. I’m all about the blame.”

  9. I say we shut down the store and add to the urban decay that is Detroit. That is just what that city needs, more vacant buildings

  10. Mexigogue says:

    2007:
    We’re starving! We must now get the government to force the A-rabs to come back with their plentifil and low cost Ramen noodles so that we won’t die!

  11. Phelps says:

    I actually thought about that angle, but then I got caught up in the fucking idiot bigotry that guy got a pass on. It is like the argument on Saturday Night Special prohibitions. It is inherently racist, even in the name. But really, who needs a gun the most for protection? Someone in the hood. What kind of people live in the hood? Poor people. Who is hurt the most by making all guns expensive? People in the hood who need guns to protect themselves from ghetto-rich criminals who can afford to buy expensive guns to use on them! Who gets the short end of the deal? People in the hood who were supposed to be protected by the law.

    Plus, you know that any law based on the phrase “Niggertown Saturday Night” is going to screw black people over.

  12. Peggy says:

    Draconian plots have to be stopped. I was going to suggest just shoot him. But that was taken. Soooo, spend three dollars at an Arab store, kidnap him, cook all the noodles in a rusty pot with water from the tap, then force feed them to him. But be sure you salt them first. Heavily.

  13. Mexigogue says:

    I used to think that a Draconian plot was one that (by definition) involved Dracula. I was disappointed to find out that it’s not. That was last week.

  14. R says:

    The more you know!

  15. Phelps says:

    C’mon, that wino was an idiot. He can’t even spell Draconian, much less define it. You know Dracula in da hizzouse!

  16. Jenn says:

    It’s the same shit with all these assholes protesting Wal-Mart because people spend too much money there because it has everything.

    90% of the time when I go to Wal-Mart I spend at least a $100 bucks. I know I’m weak when I’m there, but no one is forcing me to buy DVD’s that are 3 for $15 everytime, or a toy for my son.

    Don’t fucking protest it because you don’t know how to manage your money.

    I agree with Phelps, too. That asshole was using it as an excuse to drop his bullshit racism. I say you shoot him too.