I used to like Kobe Bryant. In an era when too many basketball players declare for the draft and prove to be less than ready for the big time Kobe was an anomaly. He was intellectually precocious (spoke like five languages), came from a basketball family (father Joe “Jellybean” Bryant of the Philidelphia 76ers), and he showed his skills by helping the LA Lakers win three NBA titles. He was an outstanding young player being mentioned in the same breath as His Airness. Then he turned into Mr. Hyde.

To be sure he had evinced signs of the kind of selfishness hurts team play before, but amid the constant squabbling the Lakers had somehow found a way to contain it. In 2004 though the monster that is Kobe’s ego had grown too big to hold down and the Lakers paid in the finals against Detroit when crunch time came and Kobe seemed to entirely forget he had a big man in the post. Bryant shot a zillions shots and the Lakers lost.

While things seemed bad for the Lakers they quickly got worse. It was rumored that Bryant’s refusal to play for coach Phil Jackson or with with Shaq was behind the front office’s decision to trade the mighty O’Neil to the Miami Heat. He was tired of playing sidekick to one of the greatest centers of all time and O’Neil was therefore banished, never to be heard from again. Darth Bryant got his way and the rest of the world was to finally to find out how good he really is. And so we have.

In the present season which has seen Kobe Bryant excuse his team’s losing season with such platitudes as “We’re a young team” (read, “It’s not my fault”), Shaquille O’Neal’s Miami Heat are perched one game away from the NBA finals with a second year player leading the team in scoring. While Bryant’s teammates grumble publicly about their inability to play on the same team with him Shaq draws double teams in the paint and kicks back out to the open guy.

It’s not that O’Neil is not selfish. His is simply a type that is more advanced than Kobe’s and goes beyond scoring. He’s selfish to the point where he wants to win and he wants it bad enough to take the smartest path to victory, and if that means letting his own scoring take a back seat for the sake of victory then so be it. Shaq is one game away from the finals. Bryant missed the playoffs for the first time in his career. Look at Shaq and Kobe once again. Who has the dumb look on his face now?

36 Responses to “Shakobe”

  1. R says:

    You’re talking about basketball, right?

  2. Jenn says:

    You used to like Michael Jackson, too.

  3. Mexigogue says:

    I still like Michael Jackson. I just crossed him off my list of babysitters, no problems now.

  4. Jenn says:

    Right on. I was afraid to admit that I still liked him. Now that I know I’m not alone, I’m coming out of the closet. Thanks to you, Mexi!

    Any recomendations for a new sitter?

  5. Mexigogue says:

    If you so much as mention your friend I’m gonna scream.

  6. Jenn says:

    Well, that never even crossed my mind, but, I do want to hear you scream.

  7. Mexigogue says:

    Say The Lord’s Prayer backwards three times. That will summon Monique. You’ll have your scream.

  8. Let’s leave the deamon Monique where she belongs on the 9th layer of hell

  9. Mexigogue says:

    I couldn’t help it. Jenn gave me a straight line.

    How come nobody liked the nun picture?

  10. Jenn says:

    I know more about this Monique demon and how and where she spawned from.

  11. Jenn says:

    *I wanna know more

  12. Mexigogue says:

    She’s just a girl we all used to like and then she turned out to be The Devil Incarnate and she killed Gandalf or so we thought. And he came back next episode with even more powers and now Monique is the Invisible Dark Side of the Force. Or something.

  13. Jenn says:

    I can’t believe she fucking killed Gandalf! I will not summons her. I’ll just have to hear you scream another way.

    That sounds perverted, but I swear I didn’t mean for it to.

  14. Jenn says:

    I need to learn how to close the tags. It’s no?

  15. Jenn says:

    Okay, that didn’t work. It’s Right?

  16. Mexigogue says:

    put a tag with /i in it

    Oh and your new picture is magenta. I need to do you. I’ve never done a magenta chick before. Here, I’ll do you right before you go the movies with HMT. We’ll see if he can tell!

  17. Jenn says:

    I give up! I even left spaces between the tag and it still didn’t show. Okay, I don’t give up. To close the tag (say italic) it’s the less than symbol, i, slash, greater than, RIGHT?

    I’m totally spamming your comments. I love it. You better too. Just be happy I don’t work day shift on the norm, or this would probably be consistant.

  18. Phelps says:

    You have to use escape characters to type brackets in HTML, and I don’t feel like looking them up. You close a tag by typing it exactly the same way, but you use a slash in the front. Like “i” is closed with “/i”.

  19. Jenn says:

    Haha. Your tags didn’t work either.

    At least you didn’t say it’s fucking pink!! Magenta’s nice.

  20. Mexigogue says:

    Actually I only know like the basic colors. I opened your picture and asked a chick in the office what color that was. She said magenta. I was gonna say purple.

  21. Jenn says:

    I said purple too. But all the girly girls swear it’s pink. You’d look nice in pink.

  22. Mexigogue says:

    No I wouldn’t. But I am making progress though with the running and the weight lifting thing. In another month I’ll post an after picture.

  23. Cosmic Siren says:

    Kobe Bryant is getting karma payback. When you jerk with someone else’s career, you’re just asking to get screwed by the cosmos.

  24. Jenn says:

    Score! I need to get back into it, too. I was doing so damn good. Then I went to California and can’t get motivated since. Maybe I need some new running shoes. Maybe I can borrow a pare of Kobe’s.

  25. A smoking hot chick with size 16 feet! I’m sorry Jenn but it’s over I just can’t stalk a chick with feet bigger than mine!

  26. Kobe says:

    She’s mine. Why don’t you give me a tour of the hotel, Jenn?

  27. Jenn says:

    Kobe, I’m afraid of you. I watch the news.

    UNLV, don’t do this to me! I only need ONE of his shoes for both of my feet.

  28. R says:

    …Ohhhhh! SHAKOBE! I GET it!

  29. Jenn says:

    Yay! I get to go home now. Just wanted to say thanks for the laughs and making my day a little more interesting. Have a suave weekend!

  30. HMT says:

    I hope everyone gets sexed up this weekend..

    in the dirtiest way possible.

    and eats cheese nachos.

  31. Kurt says:

    Isn’t it interesting how Shaq has always played with the “next” greatest – Penny Hardaway, Kobe, now Mr. Wade is being called the most talented. Coincidence? Maybe not.

  32. Mexigogue says:

    The attention Shaq draws from opposing defenses makes his teammates better than they would normally be. An average player will put up good numbers. A good player will put up great numbers. That is why Kobe is the most overrated player in the NBA. We saw his real ability this year.

    By the way cool that you commented on the actual blog subject!!!

  33. Phelps says:

    You have subjects? Hell, you don’t even have coherent thoughts!

  34. Mexigogue says:

    Yuh huh!!!

  35. Phelps says:

    I had cheese nachos this weekend. I rule.