UNLV Begins Work on a Unified Bum Theory. Read it, learn it, love it, live it. The practical application for this study is unlimited.

A news story said some kids in Florida are being charged for kicking and stomping a bum to death. That not cool. The guy already knows he’s a bum, there’s no point in rubbing it in. These are human beings we’re talking about and as such they are to be shunned or laughed at, but not murdered. Unprovoked violence is not the way.

UNLV has a better idea. Do a study. Perhaps they can even attach locater tags on their ears and track migratory patterns like they used to do in Wild Kingdom.

18 Responses to “Bums”

  1. Phelps says:

    Was Glenn Reynolds in Florida lately?

  2. Mexigogue says:


    (best part is they dont’ get it)

  3. HMT says:

    Better yet, after you tag em’, get em’ all together in a cage and let JCVD kick all their asses..

    and then dance of course.

  4. HMT says:

    Better yet, round them up and teach them heavy metal..

    then they can joy the kiss army.

    and THEN JCVD kicks their asses. perhaps with the help of Dolph Lundgren

  5. Mexigogue says:

    I was once reading a biography of MLK that was written by some motherfucker who seemed like he was out to to every big word in his vocabulary. It was stupid, instead of saying “clique” he said “coterie”. Instead of “nickname” he wrote “sobriquet.” I made a point of writing down every new word I ran across and later I consulted a dictionary and wrote out definitions.

    Just to be dumb when I got to “edification” I wrote: to make ones self more like Eddie.

    I’m bored.

  6. Mexigogue says:

    I’m listening to Linda Rondstadt’s song “Blew by You” hearing her sing about how she got blown. That must have been interesting.

  7. ? says:

    On that basis Justification would be to make oneself more like Justin.

  8. Mexigogue says:

    Very good “?” I like your style.

    On another note time really flies.

    I’d like to do Linda Ronstadt please!

    Wait, never mind.

  9. Nice Rack says:

    Blue Bayou, nasty man.

  10. Mexigogue says:

    Oh. . . .. . I, ummm, knew that.

  11. Nice Rack says:

    I think Linda’s really a hooker though, cuz she says “I’m going back someday, cum what may on Blue Bayou” Maybe it was originally you version, but they changed it for karaoke screens so that people wouldn’t realize that she’s a hooker. We may just have uncovered a national secret. I bet Rambo comes to shoot you.

  12. Nice Rack says:

    and on the basis of edification, that would mean that ramification would be to make oneself more like a ram, which could mean better sex.

  13. Mexigogue says:

    I have the perfect retort if anyone ever tries to shoot me. It will go like this:

    bad guy: I’m going to shoot you.

    Mexi: Well you could shoot me. Or –



  14. HMT says:

    Laurie, I’ll ram you.

  15. Nice Rack says:

    I was reading yesterday’s comments, and I bet I figured out who the title refers to

  16. Nice Rack says:

    HMT, go get yourself ramificated (so not a word) and we can ram as long as you want. We can even ram to heavy metal just to ensure that it’s even better for you.

  17. I wanna watch rack get rammed

  18. Jenn says:

    You have a link for an article on your post?

    That’s sad.

    Oh yeah, and you’re a bunch of sluts. That’s why I love you guys though.