Spooning with the Homeless

I did a short run yesterday and then prepared to lift weights. Last week I took heavy weights and did two sets of everything and ended up completely spent. It took four days for the soreness to go away and I rested two additional days because I was playing America’s Army. Yesterday I added ten lbs to what I did last week and prepared to hit it again hard. Then I saw the cops out the window.

My house is on the corner and five-oh was parked in front of the corner house to my left. They were knocking on the door but nobody was coming out. I figured they were gonna come up empty because no one was home. Next thing I dig they are all over the house directly across from me. They get two people outside of the house with their hands up. Then after some shouts and warnings they send in the K-9s.

Now at this point I’m not really sure what’s going on because I’m lying low on my bedroom floor racking my brain trying to think of anything I’ve done wrong. It looked to me like they were just going door to door on outstanding warrants and for all I know I might have a library book out or something. What’s even worse is that the guy who lived in the house they were raiding got arrested just a couple weeks ago so I guess the cops got some unfinished business with the dealings going on in that house. What a neighborhood, what a culture, what a fucking way to live. After a while the cops went away and I presume so did some of my neighbors.

I ended up banging out my weightlifting routine and I can barely move my arms now. I need to look tough because I live in a thuggish neighborhood but truth be known I’m so spent from exercising I could probably get beaten up by a fourth grader today. Unless it was a fourth grade girl or a handicap. In that case I might be able to manage a tie.

I don’t like my drug dealing neighbors, I don’t like the cops, and I don’t like the church that’s parked at the end of my street. Each one of these groups are hustlers and I’m tired of being surrounded by them. I normally just mentally block out my surroundings but it’s getting kind of ugly here. I need to live in an underground bunker with a door cut into the trunk of a giant oak tree. Then I won’t have to deal with the thugs and the tricksters. And I won’t have to deal with the drug dealers either.


33 Responses to “Spooning with the Homeless”

  1. HMT says:

    Are you affraid of racial profiling Mexi? Will the cops settle for you if your scumbag neighbors come up empty?

    hey, I have a friend going to Lansing this weekend… what the fuck do you do in Lansing? are there any lakes for bbq’s or shit of that nature?

  2. Mexigogue says:

    Why in the world is your friend coming to Lansing? There’s nothing here but Michigan State University, Oldsmobile (yipee), and the Capitol Building.

  3. HMT says:

    she has a boyfriend who got moved out there for work.. come on, there’s gotta be SOMETHING!

  4. Mexigogue says:

    There used to be Starr’s Black and Tan. It was five times as thuggish as Leroy’s and the clientele was about 95% black. Most white people would not set foot in there. One day when I was a cab driver this white guy from out of town gets in and says he wants to go somewhere to pick up a ‘colored girl’. I drop his ass off at the Black and Tan. I wait outside a good three minutes. He comes back out (red faced) and asks to be dropped off at a titty-bar.

    (I’ve always been evil, this isn’t something new)

  5. Nice Rack says:

    They can go to Lake Lansing, as long as they don’t swim in it. There is also a park with pavilion, bbq’s and small lake (pond) off of Aurelius and Cavannaugh. If they want to bbq, that’s probably the nicest place. It’s clean and not too ghetto. Otherwise, there are lots of places to shop in East Lansing.

  6. Nice Rack says:

    And when Mexi says Oldsmobile, he means Oldsmobile park where you can go watch the Lansing Lugnuts (baseball) take on other random Michigan teams. It’s not too expensive, and they have hot dogs and beer.

  7. Mexigogue says:

    Tell them to go to Leroy’s and pass the karaoke girl a card saying “Let Mexi sniff it.” Make sure it’s the right karaoke girl though.

  8. R says:

    So your first response upon seeing cops in your hood is to drop to the floor?

    That’s hard core, dude.

  9. guy in the UNLV jacket says:

    Damn I am so glad no longer live in Lansigg, being limited to a beach with no grass, minor league basball and ramdom neighborhood shake downs for entertainment really sucks. HMT there are a couiple of cool bars downtown Lansing called 621 and The Exchange. If your friend is a rokker like you then she might like MAC’s bar on Michigan they usually have some interesting bands. If she is feeling adventerous then they might want to head for the rootin tootinest place in all of Mid-Michigan a little place called Leroy’s classic bar and grill….

  10. Mexigogue says:

    I had an America’s Army flashback. Whenever I see people draw weapons I presume I have to watch out or I’ll get TKed.

  11. Nice Rack says:

    Passing it to me on a karaoke card won’t do any good, unless they slip me $5 million with it

  12. Mexigogue says:

    For $5 million I get to clamp down on it and growl really menacingly anytime you try to pull away.

  13. Nice Rack says:

    Oh my god, that is so disgusting. You can’t clamp down on her, it might hurt her. Though growling against her is kinda fun, or so I’ve heard.

  14. Mexigogue says:

    It would be a great photo op!

  15. Nice Rack says:

    Whatever dude, you can’t clamp down on her, even for $5 million. And there is no way I would ever let you get a picture of that. Cleavage is one thing, you clamped down on the junk growling is a totally different story

  16. Mexigogue says:

    Ok fine I’ll just blog about it.

    So what time’s good for you?

  17. Nice Rack says:

    I got left alone at work for the last 2 hours on my last day at the job. They all said, too bad you have to leave, wish we could have kept you here, keep in touch, it’s a three day weekend, gotta go. I am so bored, it isn’t even funny

  18. chic says:

    Just stopped in to check out the lastest at mexiblog, and can’t stop laughin my ass off at the thought of him clamped onto Nice Rack and growlin!!!!!!

  19. Mexigogue says:

    See? That’s what the people want! It’s entertainment!

  20. Nice Rack says:

    Thanks, chic, you should be supporting me in my hour of need. Don’t be suprised if I make your microphone sound horrible the next time you sing. Actually, it is hilarious, and I would never intentionally make your mike sound shitty. Oh, the joys of being Mexi’s buddy

  21. Mexigogue says:

    One time Monique turned my mic down to about one notch above nothing. I tried singing the song but ended up giving her the mic back and saying “Ha ha you got me!” I didn’t get mad because I didn’t want her to get the satisfaction of making me upset.

  22. Nice Rack says:

    Yeah, but Monique’s a bitch. Even when I don’t like someone who’s singing, I still don’t mess with their mikes. That’s just childish.

  23. Mexigogue says:

    She used to tell me how ungodly smart she was. She told me she was “gifted”.

    On second thought, maybe she said she was a “grifter”.

  24. Nice Rack says:

    It is highly likely that she meant grifter, she just didn’t know how to pronounce it.

  25. guy in the UNLV jacket says:

    by “gifted” she meant retarted!!!!

  26. Nice Rack says:

    I wouldn’t say retarded, she sure knew how to scam her friends out of things, like diapers for her kids, or McDonald’s. I fell for it a few times, so maybe I’m retarded. I got wise when I hadn’t spoken to her in months and she calls my phone to say she’s moving and needs $200 bucks. Ever since then, if she asks for anything, I’m always broke. Feed your own kids dammit

  27. chic says:

    I do support you Nice Rack, I just happen to think it would be a wonderful cartoonish thing to see!!!

  28. SportsBra says:

    Dammit, that post was supposed to be from this name, see that’s way I’m an internet watcher, not and not a participant. 🙂

  29. Phelps says:

    You big pussy. Hell, in my hood, we got guys bustin caps at random. Me and my brother are on the porch with gauges and 45s deciding when to jump in, and dumbasses bustin in the backyard with cops in the front. SWAT ended up coming out on that one and they flashbanged the house.

    Flashbangs rule.

  30. Brian says:

    I don’t know, dude…I met you. You kinda scared me, but then again, if I see ANY Mexican walking towards me, I turn around and go the other way. That’s just me.

    When I work out (around twice a year), I always try to make up for lost time and try to cram it all in to one workout, and then am sore for days. This one time I went and did legs, and I used that machine that’s like the gym’s thighmaster (I didn’t realize then that that specific machine is used to increase vaginal strength), but I had trouble getting in and out of my car for like a week. I literally had to lift each leg out one at a time with my hands. It was pretty bad. But I could cut a banana in half with my cooch that week, so it all balanced out.

  31. Citizen Quasar says:

    Hey! I live in a hood like that. It’s just east of downtown OKC and is about 100 years old.

    Pace yourself on your workout: alternate days and stuff.

    A GOOD book on what to eat is “Fantastic Voyage” by Ray Kurzweil.

    Shhhh….Don’t tell ANYONE!

  32. Phelps says:

    Another good book is “Soylent Green”.

  33. idiot says:

    i am an idiot and i am lead by richard simmons