I’m usually the one who ignores people here at work, not because I have anything specifically against individuals, but because I hate people. To some I am friendly but the others to whom I don’t speak either can’t figure me out or regard me as decidedly anti-social. I find that funny as all get-out but now I find myself on the other side of that line.

Our office has an intern who speaks only when the situation requires it. She will give a perfunctory giggle if you say something friendly but she will then drop immediately back behind the mysterious cloak of silence. She never initiates idle conversation and if you are completely silent she will double the volume on her silence which just drowns yours out and leaves you looking stupid. What makes it even worse is that she sits at the front desk so there is no way to avoid it. When you go by you either have to speak and get almost no response or just pretend she’s not there.

It would be better if she rolled her eyes or something. I can deal with being despised. I have appropriate responses for that, some which include frozen orange juice concentrate and gasoline (thanks to Phelps for the homemade napalm recipe). What I can’t deal with is not knowing if the person is silent because she is just naturally quiet or because she is busy PLOTTING MY DEMISE IN SOME HORRIBLE HOME-ALONE FASHION BOOBY TRAP COMPLETE WITH FALLING ANVILS, ROMAN CANDLES, AND A CROSSFIRE OF RAPID FIRE NAIL GUNS!!! I just can’t take it. The suspense is killing me.

What is even more scary, when I wanted to find out some more about her I had her take an online personality disorder test. Back when I took the test I came out reactive for all sorts of disorders, paranoid, antisocial, narcissistic. You know, normal. But when she took the test, she came back as low for everything which, if that result is to be believed, means that she HAS NO PERSONALITY DISORDERS WHATSOEVER!!! WHAT KIND OF PEOPLE ARE THEY BRINGING IN HERE I AM TOTALLY UNPREPARED FOR THIS!!!

So now I stay here at my desk taking periodic trips where I have to slink past her area so I can get my coffee. I am gravely afeared. I don’t know how to react around a female who is not kind of evil or at least moderately psycho.

16 Responses to “Scary”

  1. R says:

    But if she IS plotting your demise without you knowing it, she IS evil.

    Anyone can fake answers to those personality tests anyway.

  2. Peggy says:

    Ill have something to say when I get my breath back and my sides stop hurting. “Slinking?”

  3. Mexigogue says:

    Our Detroit people called and told me on Tuesday that they can neither send or receive e-mail. I e-mail the Helpdesk and inform them of the problem and list the name of the Detroit server. The tech calls me back today, I’ll call him Swifty, and he asks.

    Hey I got this help ticket you emailed about not being able to send or receive email. And you say the Detroit server. I have to clarify, is this YOU who can’t send or receive email or Detroit?

    WTF. . . If I can neither send or receive e-mail, then HOW THE HELL AM I EMAIL YOU ABOUT IT?? WHY WOULD I LIST THE DETROIT SERVER WHEN CLEARLY I AM AN ON THE OKEMOS SERVER (they can tell by my userid). I have no words to describe. . .

    Yeah, every time my email is down I email the helpdesk just to be ironic and I include the Detroit server information jsut for shits and giggles. AAAAAARGH!!!

  4. rae says:

    Help desk people assume that even the on-site IT people are morons. They suck.

  5. guy in the UNLV jacket says:

    Help desk people are the lowest of the low in the IT food chain. All you need is a monkey to open the ticket and pass it on to somebody who can actually fix the issue. They should be called helper monkeys! Mexi is your front desk intern hot?

  6. Mexigogue says:

    In a librarian kind of way.

  7. guy in the UNLV jacket says:

    That is why she bugs you ’cause you want her

  8. Mexigogue says:

    A good title for a blog entry would be “Spooning with the Homeless.” Whether or not you had any content, people would just have to read it!

  9. Phelps says:

    Actually, we do call them ticket monkeys in our shop.

  10. R says:

    Mmmm, librarian sex….

  11. Mexigogue says:

    Huh huh! The “do me” decimal system! huh huh huh!

  12. Peggy says:

    If she scored low on everything, it doesn’t sound like she has a personality either. There is a woman here like that: she’s makes me think of a robot that only responds when spoken to and then only with the fewest words possible. Strangely enough, she looks and dresses like the librarian type too. I wonder what would happen if someone tried peel the skin away from her face. What would be underneath?
    Still having a hard time imagining you slinking past her desk.
    I took the test. High Paranoid, Very High Schizoid, High Narcissistic, High Obsessive-Compulsive and low on everything else. Nothing surprising.

  13. Mexigogue says:

    Oh sweet Peggy!! I also get highs and very highs every time I take that test. Even when I try answering conservatively I’m still up there!

  14. Mexigogue says:

    Haha, peel the skin away from her face! I need to try that! I might get in trouble though.

  15. Peggy says:

    At least I wouldn’t be scary to you. And that’s weird, because an obsessive-compulsive paranoid-schizophrenic narcissist would scare most everyone else.

  16. Jenn says:

    Hahah! Some chick makes the Mexi nervous. That’s fabulous and not something I imagined happening. I like her already.