The Revolution

First of all, I would like to extend my heartfelt propers to all those who competed in the Booby Wars. Everyone is a winner and all contestants will be sent (what else?), a Giant Squid and nachos. It’s in the mail (damn I got some strange looks at the post office.)

Second (ow! I bit my tongue). Secondly I would like to invite everyone to visit the terrible blog (linked appropriately enough under “links” over there on the left). It’s written by some dude from INTJ-Open who refers to himself as Laconis. He sounds depressed, maybe suicidal even. I think his blog is a cry for help. In my boundless compassion and mercy, I’ve taken to leaving irreverent comments on his blog for the purpose of ridiculing him. Kicking a man when he’s down is my way of encouraging him to get back up. Call it incentive I guess.

Oh yes. I also propose that we all start a new fad and hopefully it will catch on nationwide. Henceforth, we shall all cruise the city streets between 7 and 9 p.m. looking for midgets (bona fide midgets, grown people like 4′ 6″ and under, regular short people are too hard to overpower). When we catch them, we will jump out and catch them and bind and gag them and duct tape the jack of spades to their forehead. Thus begins the revolution. WHO IS WITH ME ON THIS?????!!!!!!!!

28 Responses to “The Revolution”

  1. Ralph Nadar says:

    Yesssssss!!! Giant squid is de-licious!!! You rock American of Mexican Descent-gogue!

  2. Phelps says:

    I thought we were going to get rid of all the Mexicans.

  3. Mexigogue says:

    That was an idea I had that was poorly thought out.

  4. Nice Rack says:

    When do I get my celebration victory party for being elected in the boobie wars? I like chocolate cake and balloons.

  5. Mexigogue says:

    You don’t want Scrimps? Oh wait, you told off the last guy who invited you to Red Lobster. How about a cheese sammich?

  6. THE "D" says:

    Why would she tell off someone that offered Red Lobster??? Shucks that is a big deal with me! I would be very upset if I offered to take a woman to Red Lobster and she thought I was being cheap!!

    What’s up with that “L”

  7. Nice Rack says:

    I told him off because he called me at 3:39 in the morning, not because he asked me to Red Lobster. I would kill for their bisquits, but I don’t love them enough to go out with a psycho to get them.

  8. Mexigogue says:

    Damn. That leaves me out too. Ok, does Hostess Hoe Hoes count as chocolate cake (no that is not a sexual reference insult, I’m just trying to find the easiest chocolate cake possible).

  9. gvslim says:

    We are going to get rid of the Mexican men and the not so hot mexican chicks. The rest of the chicks can stay in the US until they are not hot anymore then it’s their choice firing squad or deportation

  10. Mexigogue says:

    Yeah. Sounds like a great idea except then there’s less people employed which means less people paying Social Security tax and then the system goes belly up even earlier than projected. Then everywhere you go you have to step over old people corpses who would have lived except they couldn’t afford their old people meds. You can’t really have a world class nation when you’re stepping over old dead people everywhere you go.

  11. Mexigogue says:

    I got one of the rubber gloves our office stocked right after the percutaneous anthrax scare (we’re supposedly supposed to sort all incoming mail wearing these hospital gloves). Anyway I blew it up and now it’s a balloon with little fingers. It looks kind of like an udder. So I’m bouncing it around up in the air. It kind of breaks up the day.

  12. Sir Courvoisier says:

    who cares as long as there are more mexican hot chicas for me…..

  13. Mexigogue says:

    Hey remember Nikki? She came in to Leroy’s yesterday. She’s. . . um. . . pitching for the other team (so to speak). I thought she was kidding at first. Nope. Not kidding.

  14. Sir Courvoisier says:

    not top be a prick but immigrants are the lowest earning group therefore they pay less taxes and use more of the social services. Eliminating the dudes and the fat chicks would therefore save social security and greatly reduce the overall social services budget.

  15. Sir Courvoisier says:

    Lesbians are hot*

    *this does not include softball playing, fat, hemp smoking, 4×4 driving or Harley riding lesbains

  16. Mexigogue says:

    Or you could eliminate social services altogether. Then people will live off of what they earn. Hey, how about that? Capitalism! Then you don’t have to pay some lazy “real American” $12 to work in the fields. The price of produce stays low (as it should be because there are people willing to work for less. Keeping out people who are willing to work is antithetical to capitalism.

  17. Mexigogue says:

    I guess the subject today is lesbian immigrants.

  18. THE "D" says:

    Hey I am pissed off today. I cannot read spanish to get around the Univision website. I want to find the “CHICA’s” Why don’t they have a page that is translated into englist to help perv’s like myself?

    Damn!

  19. TB says:

    fuck, even the mere mention of Dead Lobster makes me want to vomit. talk about horrible seafood.

    Silly Mexico, everyone knows midgets are hip to the game.. they only come out between 4am and 6am, sure to get back inside of your box of Lucky Charms and sprinkle them with magic before you feast.

  20. Mexigogue says:

    But if I drop a house on a witch they will all come out. This method is time-tested and true.

  21. THE "D" says:

    Hey!! Stick with the subject! Where the hell is the English version of Univision???? I have been watching the Mexican version of “Soul Train” called “Caliente” and I am hooked. Somebody please help me. I am having “Caliente” withdraw.

  22. Sir Courvoisier says:

    No I once saw a midget crack head while running in Lansing. I can’t remember but I think it was Mexi whth me when it happened. We saw her and made some off color remarks. I thought they were funny, she didn’t. Sucks to be a midget!!!

  23. Mexigogue says:

    We need to round them all up and put them back in their natural habitat: the circus.

  24. Phelps says:

    Hey, D, did you know that I worked at Oooonivision for a while? All the direction and memos and such are in English. You only have to know Spanish if you are going to be in front of the camera. Jacked up, huh?

    And we aren’t getting rid of the fat old Mexican chicks. They make the best tamales. Won’t someone think of the tamales?!?

  25. Sir Courvoisier says:

    the fat old ones can stay, but they gotta make tamales! The young fat ones gotta go. Using my patented 15 year plan, we can use the old fatties to train the young hotties in the arts of tamale making, then we deport them. Now is everybody happy?

  26. THE "D" says:

    Thanks Phelps!! You have a little bit of knowledge on a whole lot of things HUH?

    Now off for my daily dose of “Caliente”

  27. Phelps says:

    No, I have a LOT of knowledge on a lot of things.

    To quote Brent Sienna, “My brain is hung like a horse!”

  28. The "D" says:

    I stand corrected Phelps!