Pool Tournament

Dave hasn’t been on in a while so I can only presume he met with an untimely death. Anyhoo, here is my yesterday in a nutshell:

I was one under par coming onto the 15th hole and I’m only two strokes out of the lead. I am playing the best golf of my life and I didn’t want to muck it up. As I’m studying the approach to the green, my phone rings. I’m being told the pool tournament is about to start at Leroy’s and I better hurry up. I put the Mario Golf game on pause and rush off to the spot.

There were only five of us for the tournament but we decide to play anyway. For my first opponent, I draw ‘bye’. I love being matched up with that motherfucker because he never shows up!!! I think he’s scared of me. I end up skipping right into the 2nd round where I have to play Ken.

I get one shot away from the 8 and Ken runs out on me. I lose, but since it’s double elimination I’m still in the hunt. Not bad but kind of demoralizing.

My third game I play evil Chuckie Walker. I lost $5 to him back in 1997 at The Point After and I’m still awful sore about it. I beat him in the grudge match and things are going better. He’s eliminated so in my next game I play this other dude and beat him too. That’s all good because I lost to him last week. More vengeance.

Now I’m in the finals against Ken and since he’s in the winners bracket he only has to win once whereas for me to win I have to beat him twice. The first game I end like a champion, running like my last 5 balls off the table and sinking the 8 in one turn at the table. Now it’s sudden death and the pressure is on.

The championship game I take another lead and then sink my last few balls whack, whack whack. . Hmm. . . That last whack has me looking to drive that 8 ball down the rail for a win, the whole enchilada. But the angle is funny. I’ve never won a tournament before so I’m like oh yeah this is cool. I’ve arrived. I line up, calm, cool. Shoot the shot. Barely misses but not only that I also scratch. Ken has ball in hand on the 8 so I just roll the damn thing in for him. Dammit.

On the upshot, I get home at the end of the night and continue my golf game. I sink a 30 foot putt to salvage par on the last hole and win the tournament! New course unlocked!!! WOO HOOOOOOOO!!!

5 Responses to “Pool Tournament”

  1. TB says:

    moral of the story: Never leave home. Nothing out there in real life is worth it.

    I beat Jesse Orosco and Scott Erickson, then both on the Baltimore Orioles, in a celebrity pool tournament. I’m a star.

    we’re stars!

  2. Phelps says:

    That isn’t your yesterday in a nutshell. This is yesterday in a nutshell:

    “Hey! What kind of nutshell is this that can invalidate the very basics of space and time? Who’s idea was it to anthropomorphize time into a whiny bitch? Is this a very large nutshell or a very tiny nutshell? Do you have any gum?”

  3. Nice Rack says:

    Don’t take all the credit Mexi, I beat that Bye guy’s ass too. Then I got asked out by a 12-year-old, so top that!

  4. Mexigogue says:

    Stop bragging. I got asked out by a 12 year old boy once.

    (I was, however, 6 at the time)

    (( oh yeah, plus I’m a dude, so that’s even more screwed up ))

  5. TB says:

    badoomp, pshhh