Political Slogans

I was reading this article about the Republican campaign and I found a line that cracked me up.

Implicitly, they’re also suggesting he’s out of touch with Americans. One Republican operative told the New York Times last year that Kerry “even looks French.”

Ok, the mudslinging has begun in earnest now. I would really like to be in the thick of it. Ideally I would have a spot making campaign ads for both sides. For Bush’s side I would hit ’em hard with the French motif. I would plaster Kerry’s face on the side of a box of waffles. I would show spots of Kerry arguing against himself, like his decrying the movement of American jobs overseas and then telling a crowd in Cincinnati “I’m not a protectionist.” Then I’d punch out and run across the street and go to work for the other side.

For the Democrats I would highlight statements from former officials of past administrations both Republican and Democrat saying that Bush deceived the nation and squandered American credibility worldwide by beginning an unprovoked war on a sovereign nation. I would show the twin towers, the American flag, and united Americans followed by the sounds of goose stepping in the background to imply that the legitimate grievance against Al Qaeda was highjacked into a personal vendetta against Saddam Hussein. I would have a narrator saying “George W. seems to think he’s Wyatt Erp. You can show him in November that he’s not.”

Finally I’d make posters for both sides, one showing John Kerry in a beret, the other showing Dubya in a cowboy hat. I’d rake in lots of money for my consulting work, the election would go all the way down to the wire again, and not matter the election results, the big winner here would be The Progaganda Machine and capitalism (as I would have fistfulls of dollars by the end.) This is what I really need to do. What I’ll probably do instead is just hang out here in Lansing and shoot pool. Oh well, it’s a nice thought. What do y’all think? (In case you’re wondering, I’m allowed to say y’all, I was born in Texas.)

12 Responses to “Political Slogans”

  1. sargent carter says:

    Can you tell the difference?


  2. The Sicilian says:

    I say, damn can you be my campaign manager when I run for president?

  3. Mexigogue says:

    As your campaign manager, the first thing I will advise you will be to get that damn bannana phone thing off your website and then to find some insider at Google to erase all the cache files and make it so it never existed. Because if I were on the other side trying to bring you down, I would be ceaseless in bringing up ‘banna-gate’. Hey, feel free to post a link to that so everybody else can see how EVIL that thing is!

  4. Mexigogue says:

    Did I stutter? A couple minutes ago it was like. . an Elks Lodge meetin’ in here or something. Now it’s as quiet as a church!

  5. Neil says:


  6. Mexigogue says:

    More potential sound bytes: If my opponent is elected, that giant sucking sound you hear is going to be of my opponent sucking. BECAUSE HE SUCKS!!!

  7. Phelps says:

    One point — if you put Bush in a Cowboy hat, you are just going to get him MORE votes. Just like Reagan.

  8. Neil says:

    Try putting him in a medieval armor helmet. That will confuse people.

  9. THE "D" says:

    Do they have a way that you can have wireless mobile, internet service when you are on the road? I needed it yesterday so I could read the blog out of town on the road.

    I broke out in a cold sweat due to lack of Blog. SOmebody please call me and tell me what today’s topic is. I can’t make it without y’all.

  10. Mexigogue says:

    The topic is what was the chicken war count at the end of the night? I have to update that total. And don’t start to relax because just when you start to think you’ve got a comfortable lead I’m comin’ back like herpes!!!!!!

  11. THE "D" says:

    I think we were 3 – 2 you are up. I think.