The Fires of Practical Application

Last night I was shooting pool when gvslim walked into the spot. Now, you would think that after the acrimonious debate we had in the comment section of the Prisoners, War, and Ethics post, we would be ready to kill each other. For those who don’t know, this is the debate wherein I referred to him as a “Human rights violating comi-Nazi Torture Loving Meanyhead” and he responded by referring to me as a “Turban Powered Freedom Hating Sleeper Cell Traitor with Halatosis”. So now he shows up at the bar and you would think it would be on. But you would be wrong. When two people as evil as we are show up at the same spot, we immediately team up to the rest of the world’s detriment.

So I’m getting ready to play a game against somebody I’ve never seen before in my life when this guy asks if I want to play teams. I said sure, who you got? He said I got my boy right here. I said ok, then I got gvslim.

Now I’m getting ready to break when things get even more interesting. This guy asks if we wanna play for ten bucks. Under normal circumstances I would say no (or alternately ‘hell no’), but for some reason my curiousity is piqued cuz we got two ass clowns who wanna rush up in Leroy’s and start putting money on the table. Now I’m not the best player in the world but my game has been picking up due to the 585,236,221 hours I’ve logged playing pool thus far in my life. I check with gv and it’s affirmed, we’ve got a bet.

I break like lighting and crack the rack like thunder (ok, it wasn’t really that cool but dammit it’s my blog and I’m the one tellin’ the story) and I make something on the break. Then I miss and by the time it gets back to my turn we’ve got four balls on the table and the other guys only have two.

I’m getting a little concerned cuz there’s not only money but pride at stake and I want to play as well as I know I can. I study and see an easy shot in the side pocket. Thump! Now I have a long corner shot that’s easy cuz the ball is by the pocket. Thump! I overdo the leave and end up with a tough cut for my next corner shot. Thump!

Great. Now all I see is an extremely long walk the dog shot up the right rail that, if by some miracle I make, is gonna leave me screwed cuz the 8 is hidden behind the opponent’s ball on the rail. I take the shot as lightly as I dare and it walks, walks, walk up the rail. Walks. I light a cigarette. Walks walks. I finish smoking. Walks walks. I do some stretches, walks, the ball bobbles in the corner, stops. . . then drops in.

Ok, now I’m looking at the shot and I can barely get by the opponent’s ball to hit the 8 that’s pinned against the rail. I study the shot. I know everyone is looking at me and they’re thinking what they would do in this situation. I study the shot some more, then call cross corner. Emptying my mind, not thinking about the leave, the money, the people, there is nothing in the world but the shot. The cue misses the opponent’s ball, hits the 8 off the rail, and sends it cross corner into the pocket, DEAD IN!!! The cue skips harmlessly away and stops. The game is ours, Gary snags the $10, balloons drops from the ceiling, the women tear their tops off, and all is well with the world. All is well.

The best part about it is, after such a demonstration as they saw not only in that game but in subsequent games, these guys left without even trying to win their money back. I am the FONZ!!!!!

10 Responses to “The Fires of Practical Application”

  1. Neil says:

    I know who I shouldn’t ever play pool against now.

  2. THE "D" says:

    Didn’t they know who they were messing with. How the hell would they just walk into our bar and expect to win money. We practive daily and live to see the sinking feeling of defeat…………….on another persons face!!
    I wish I would have been there so I could have hyped the bet higher. I love for that stuff Mike. Damn I always miss the good nights.

    By the way what color were Sthephies shorts??

    Okay back on track now have a lapse. Good job on your pool victory Buddy! Keep up the good playing!

  3. Mexigogue says:

    Stephanie was not there last night else I would have missed all my shots. That thing about them walking up into ‘our bar’ and expecting to win money is the key. It’s an affront! Verily, the turkeys are in jive mode. It had been about 6 months since I bet on myself but this time I was not nervous. Last time my heart liked to explode out my chest. This time, I’m thinkin’ it’s MY HOUSE like the Pistons!!!

  4. The Sicilian says:

    Oh come on , Neil, we can take em’.
    Scratch that, you suck at games. Nevermind.

  5. Neil says:

    I once beat someone at a game of bridge. That counts for something, right?

  6. Mexigogue says:

    BRIDGE?????? My peoples play SPADES!!! Whoaaa! This internet blog thing really DOES reach across cultures! That is one of the best things I love about the ‘net, it opens me up to new experiences.

    Oh, if I switch between proper English and ‘hood vernacular from time to time, don’t be alarmed. I do it in real life too. Sometimes it gets confusing.
    “Naw foo! You don’t know with whom you are messing!

  7. Nedward says:

    Rock job man.
    I’m up for some rummy…

  8. Phelps says:

    The league has started up, and we won three games this week, agaisnt a team where one of them was setting an average. (Lost the first game, got the series.)

  9. Mexigogue says:

    Ooh freaking RAH!!! Competition lets you know that you’re alive!!!!