The Ayotollah

Four out of five Ayotollahs approve of the interim Iraqi government, so it must be good. This stamp of approval goes some way to smoothing things over. I hope he had the good sense to hold out for a significant kickback from the American government. That’s why I don’t get to be the Ayotollah, cuz I would abuse it.

Deli guy: What’ll it be?
Mexi: I want a sandwich just like that last guy had.
(Deli man puts sandwhich together, wraps it up, and puts it on the counter)
Deli guy: That’ll be four bucks.
Mexi: What the hell is that? That ain’t what I asked for. Make it again!
Deli guy: What are you talkin’ about? That’s the same sandwich!
Mexi: That ain’t the same sandwich. You gave that other guy more meat than that. Make it again!
Deli guy: Look buddy, either pay for the sandwich or you can leave. I got other customers.
Mexi: Mothafucka, do you know who I am? I will shut this place down!
Deli guy: I don’t give a fuck who you think you are! You’re holding up the line. Either pay for this or leave!
Mexi: I’m the Ayotollah, goddammit!!
Deli guy: (silence). . . . . . aw, shit. I had no idea. I’m sorry.
Mexi: Damn straight!
Deli guy: Look, please accept my apologies, I’ll make it again. And it’s on the house. Don’t worry about paying.
Mexi: And hook up some extra moozerella on dat bad boy! Dammit, now I gotta ‘go’. Where is the little Ayotollah’s room?
Deli man: Uh, round the corner, first door on the right.

Being the Ayotollah has gotta be a sweet deal. I think if you hit the jukebox the music just starts. Plus if I was him I would carry a really cool cane. . . And have patent leather shoes. . . .And some gold teefises. In a perfect world. . .

11 Responses to “The Ayotollah”

  1. gvslim says:

    You know nothing of being the Ayotollah! A real Ayotollah wouldn’t be caught dead ordering deli sandwiches wearing patent leather shoes and gold teeth. He would have his bitches order while he chilled in the pink and chrome caddy wearing some gators and iced out platinum teefs. Stoopid

  2. Mexigogue says:

    It appears Gary really knows his shi’ite.

  3. THE "D" says:

    Very Good One!

  4. Neil says:

    Being Ayotollah is all about blunt smokin’, booty grabbin’, big pimpin’, bling-dogin’ and shit. World-wide West side mothafucka! Well, that and having a close spiritual connection with Allah. Okay, I really don’t have anything to say. I’ve just been away from the blogs for a few days and wanted to post. Hello.

  5. Mexigogue says:

    And the MEXIGOGUE said unto NEIL, Whence comest thou? Then NEIL answered the MEXIGOGUE, and said, From blogging to and fro on the ‘net, and from commenting up and down in it.
    (my apologies to whomever wrote the Book of Job)

  6. moses says:

    Don’t misquote me again suka

  7. Phelps says:

    I bet the Ayatolla could get a ham and cheese sandwich and nobody would say anything about it. It sure wouldn’t make the papers.

  8. The Sicilian says:

    I bet cheeseburgers with extra ketchup would, though.

  9. Neil says:

    Mmmm…cheeseburger. Sicilian, quickly, buy me a cheeseburger!

  10. Mexigogue says:

    Don’t do it. Cheeseburgers are child abuse. Buy him a nice government approved healthy snack. Hippie approved!

  11. Neil says:

    Damnit, I don’t want a hippie burger! I want a man’s burger. Seven pounds of barely cooked cow floating in pure cheddar cheese with a side bowl of lard. Sicilian, buy me this now!