Mexi Wins an Award in Absentia

Yesterday was the awards banquet for the bca pool season that just ended. I didn’t attend for a number of reasons, foremost because I have my children on the weekend and I didn’t want to spend the day away from them. Had I known my name would be called for the highest handicap score award, I would have definitely attended. I am disappointed as I realize my name was called and the masses looked around in rapt expectation, yet I was nowhere to be found. I missed an enormous opportunity to get up, jam my hands in my back pockets, and strut up there shaking my head from side to side like Rudy in the Fat Albert show.

For those who don’t know, the handicap award doesn’t mean I’m in a wheelchair. It’s the amount of actual game points I scored plus the spot points I got because my opponent’s average was so high. To wit, 21 spot points plus the 27 points I got for winning all three games in one night equals the highest handicap score of the year in our league (48).

I don’t ask for much. The recognition is enough. That and perhaps a life-sized statue of me in front of Leroy’s would be nice. Solid gold statue, of course, because we wouldn’t want something that would rust. And a crown and sceptor, like King Vitamin. Anybody remember him?

Oh hell. Just did a google search on King Vitamin and I came up with this. And I thought I had too much time on my hands! Gotta love the internet.

7 Responses to “Mexi Wins an Award in Absentia”

  1. Leroy’s…I saw Leroy’s today. We were driving around Lansing and I was like…heeeyyyy, there it is. Of course my husband thought I was nuts, and I attempted to explain, but oh well.

  2. The "D" says:

    Mike what happened at Leroy’s lastnight? I heard that there was police tape and the front door was locked up by the police?????

  3. Mexigogue says:

    There was like. . .. this black chick in there. .. . . FINE THAN TWO MOTHAFUCKAS!!!! and she was soooo fine. .. they had to rope the shit off. . .

    No, not really. But goddamn. . .. . she was so fine. . . I have to take a cold shower. . . . and it still didn’t help. . .. . . Damn. . .. Ouch. Blue ball. . . .

  4. THE "D" says:

    Damn Damn Damn!! She had to be fine if you are giving her Props!!!! You are hard on the babes Mike. Halle Berry could walk in and if she has one Grammer error you would talk about the woman for the next two hours. LOUD TOO!!! You know exactly what I am talking about too. This woman must have been smart and fine!!! Damn Damn Damn Damn Damn!!!!

  5. Mexigogue says:

    Put it this way. . . Ken forgot if he was stripes or solids and he shot the wrong ball. And I was so deep into looking at this chick, I didn’t care. . . She was dancing w her girl and her skirt kept creeping up to her crotch, then she’d pull it down again. I asked if Leroy’s had a cold shower. Ken said it wouldn’t help. The girl was like. . . I was gonna bite the heel of my palm like Lenny and Squiggy. Oooooo! wee.

  6. THE "D" says:

    Mike so you mean to tell me that she looks better that juanita’s niece???

  7. Mexigogue says:

    I wish to God you hadn’t missed it because I can’t do the girl justice with my meager words. I sat at the karaoke barstool just to get a better view of watching the girl sitting there. JUST SITTING THERE! The body just screaming CLIMB ON ME AND KNOCK YOURSELF OUT!!!!! GIDDYYYYYYUP!!!!!! Lauri was talking to me for two minutes before she realized I wasn’t hearing a word that came out of her mouth.