Florida Breakfast Table Talk

“Look honey! Right here in the news, people are calling for this guy to be put in jail just for doing something I think about doing every day of my life: shooting black people right in the face. I mean come on!”

“Oh Dear!”

“Yeah. I mean, I’m not saying something like this is not a crime but if it is it’s certainly a minor one. Sometimes cops and prosecutors need to look the other way. Something like this is just so understandable. I mean, every time I look at a picture of a black guy, I say ‘you know what would make this picture look even better?'”

“Bullet holes.”

“Bullet holes, exactly, I say that all the time!”

“I know you do dear. I believe the first time you said that to me was that time that when we met at the vigil for Caley Anthony.”

“Right, that vigil for Caley Anthony we attended because life is so precious and must be protected.”

“Yes. Just the thought of the life of an innocent child being snuffed out by that heartless monster and her little white body being lowered into the ground. And the fact that Casey was allowed to just walk out of the jail like that. It must makes me want to. . . (breaking up)”

“I know honey I know. And then there are these idiots actually get online and defend her and make cruel and insensitive comments about poor little Caley. As if that’s something to joke about! I mean we’re talking about the killing of a child here! What kind of person would make jokes about such a thing!?”

“I don’t know honey. There’s just some sick people out there. It’s really a testimony of what kind of society we’ve become.”

(the two sit in angry silence sipping coffee and looking around restlessly)

“Life is just too short.”

“It really is. Sometimes what we really need to do is sit back and appreciate it all. And hope there is some justice in the afterlife.”

“I think about that sometimes.”

“Do you suppose in the after life. . . Do you think there are colored people in heaven?”

“Of course there are. Who do you think is gonna be serving us steaming bowls of Cream of Wheat?”

“Oh you, you’re such a card! Oh that reminds me! I’ve got a riddle for ya.”

“Oh goody, I love riddles! Go ahead!”

“What do you call. . . Ha ha wait, I can’t say it with a straight face. Let me try again.”

“Oh go on, stop laughing and say it!”

“I know hang on haha! Ok here goes: What do you call. . . What do you call a dead black kid and a scattered bag of Skittles?”

“Oh dear, let’s see. NEIGHBORHOOD WATCH!!??”


“Seriously though. I hope the shooter, this Zimmerman fellow gets a fair shake. I don’t see how a white guy stands a chance with all this biased media coverage.”

“Speaking of, I just noticed it says right here this guy’s family says he’s not white. They say he’s a Spanish speaking Latino.”

(uncomfortable pause while they look around and start fidgeting restlessly)

“Yeah so this ethnic gang violence really has to stop.”

“Absolutely. What if an innocent bystander had been killed?”

One Response to “Florida Breakfast Table Talk”

  1. Phelps says:

    Ehh, you’re just another “white Hispanic” like Zimmerman.

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