Word Bubbles

People often ask me what I was thinking about when I took a particular shot in pool. This is because either I’m not thinking three shots ahead or I’m actually trying to think that far ahead but I don’t see an out. My standard answer is “I don’t know what I was thinking”, then I pretend to be paying attention to something else in the room til the person goes away. But the truth is, I do know what I was thinking. And it makes me glad there aren’t word bubbles that pop up over your head when you’re about to take a shot. Mine would be something like:

God. . . I hate this shot. This game is stupid. What the hell am I supposed to do now? I’m lining up for this shot. . . Rever is shaking his head. It must be the wrong shot. Fuck him. Damn hippie, get a haircut. Maybe I should shoot the other shot. Oh great, I have to stand on one foot and lean across the table. I look funny. Everybody’s laughing at me I bet. Hit the ball low. Stop the damn cue ball. I can make the two after this. Then I have no shot. I should stop to figure this out. No, to hell with it. I’m the worst player in the world. Smack it. 

Miscue. Cue skims off my ball and makes a beeline for the corner pocket. Dave gives me the What the Fuck? look.

It would be cool to see other peoples word bubbles over their head though. Lex shoots like he’s just hittin’ ’em real fast, but he be thinking. He would have a word bubble over his head something like “(i) P = Force*velocity (P=Fv)”. Just another walk in the park.

Mike Ryan’s bubble would be like:

“I wish Dave would shut up. Pretend you’re ignoring him. Damn. . . He’s still talking too. Does this jackass get paid by the word or something? Yap yap yap. I swear. I need to bring in a rolled up ball of tube socks and just jam it in his pie-hole. Yeah. . . keep talkin’. Note to self: bring tube socks next time. 

Dave’s word bubble would be like

“Now. That’s why he missed his shot. Got him rattled. I bet he wants to bring in a rolled up ball of tube socks and just jam it in my pie-hole. Ha! Now he bet not say shit when I’m shootin’. Dammit.” 

I couldn’t begin to imagine what Ramiro thinks about when he shoots. He’s too quiet. Willie’s word bubble would be liberally peppered with the MF word. Joe be thinking “I’m Dolomite!” Zack be thinking “Now I know damn well I’m not gon’ lose this game to Joe. . . his Dolomite lookin’ ass!”

The only person whos word bubble I would not want to see would be Rever. Because he’d pick his shot, set up for it, get a couple practice strokes , and his word bubble would be “Now what the hell was Mike thinkin’?

Comments are closed.