Dave Marion Cheats and Sabatoges to Take an Unethical Lead in Chicken Wars!

I never thought it would come to this. . . But the Chicken Wars pool tournament to 100 has taken a turn for the unethical. My sworn enemy Dave and I were playing pool at Leroy’s the other day when I took a short bathroom break. When I got back my cue stick looked different. The tip appeared to be clipped down to almost nothing. There were shards of blue cue tip fragments on the floor where my cue stick was.

“What happened to my stick Dave?”

“Huh? Me? I don’t know? Why should you accuse me?”

“I didn’t accuse you of nothing Dave, I just-”

There were shards of shattered cue stick fragments on his clothes too. Plus his fingers were all blue. I was beginning to get a bit suspicious. Nawww. . . Not Dave. . Must be some fateful coincidnence.

I miscued my next shot giving Dave ball in hand on the next shot. “Yessss!” He cried. “My nefarious plan has come to- . . .. . I mean. . . um.. . My shot.”

Something else was wrong too. A noticable film of what appeared to be bacon grease had been smeared the whole length of my cue stick. At least I think it was bacon grease because that’s what it smelled like. And because there was a can labeled ‘bacon grease’ right in front of where Dave was sitting.

“Is that your bacon grease Dave?” I asked.

“Huh? Who, me? No. I’ve never seen this can of bacon grease before in my life.”

I thought to give him the benefit of the doubt. Then I saw some writing at the bottom of the can. It said “Property of D. Marion.”

I don’t know people. I hate to be an accusing kind of person, but things aren’t looking very good for the integrity of the chicken wars. It’s now 7 game to 3 in Dave’s favor.

Editor’s note: pretty much everything posted here is a lie except the fact that Dave’s up 7 to 3. But we won’t tell Dave that. He thinks he’s too cool to read editor’s notes. He said he’s from the ‘D’ and in his ‘hood reading editor’s notes is falls under the heading of ‘Not Keeping it Real’!

4 Responses to “Dave Marion Cheats and Sabatoges to Take an Unethical Lead in Chicken Wars!”

  1. THE "D" says:

    Cheating!!! Hey my name is not Joe!!!!!!! Hey my name is not………………….????????????????? Any misc drunk at Leroy’s that wants to prove that one of the true pool hustler’s can be beat!!!

    It is true that I have been trying to find out what will make Mike miss in pool. I think woman with enormous tits and pocahantas features might help. All I need to distract him for 93 more games is a gimmick…….. I will be thinking about this for the nest few days.


    One way or another. I have no idea how people really believe that we will lose track of the score. They must be out of their fucking heads.. Don’t they understand how important pool is to us. Especially since we are both alot better that we were at the “Point After” 5 years ago.

    Hey Mike I know the girl with the Lazy Eye. I could not talk to her long because she is a straight freak!! It is a good thing that I have a girlfriend because I am hook on someone at Leroy’s bad. Let’s say this secret will never be told.

  2. Mexigogue says:

    I had a nightmare that I was in line at Popeyes, PISSED OFF! Nuff said, I’m getting a new tip put on this weekend.

  3. DonJosé says:


    Don’t drag me into this.

    (As if there were some other Joe….)

  4. Mexigogue says:

    Uh uh. Dave didn’t show up to Leroy’s last night. Please tell me he didn’t leave the mexigogue web address in the little drop down watchacawl.