The Program

My oldest son is getting ready to start high school. His mom was trying to get him into Catholic Central but she gave up on that idea a little while back. Now she’s got him enrolled in my old high school even though she didn’t want him in a public school. His scores are so high though that he qualifies for the geek program. Well, it’s not actually called that but instead of being in with the general population he’ll be in the same class with the same kids for 7 hours out of the day in a rigorous pre-university course of study. I imagine all the other kids will be Melvins and Poindexters.

Jordon is kind of thrown off by not being in the general mix of things but I told him it’s like being tossed in with elite pool players. The truth is, though, that he doesn’t need to be tossed in with all the knuckleheads in a school district where the graduation rate is an abysmal 57% according to the Lansing State Journal. I’d rather he be hemmed in with the Poindexters.

Hell, if I were back in high school now I’d want to be in that program. I was reading the curriculum and these kids have to write an extended 4,000 word essay! HAVE TO??? GET TO!!! I used to have to keep my opinion editorials for the State Journal under 600 words. Do you know how hard it is to do a topic even cursory justice with only 600 words?? All you can write is basically here is what I think, my opponents say this, but they’re morons. I’m right. Thank you, bye. Four thousands words???? Man I damn near got a woody just reading the curriculum!

So while I already have tomorrow off to watch USA basketball, I’ll also use it to make a trip to good old Lansing Eastern with my kid and my ex so we can get him acclimated. Hellified memories there. We used to have rap contests in the hallways. I just need a human beat box. Where’s Gary’s mom when I need her?

An addendum: I was telling this Mexican dude at Leroy’s about the program. I said it’s cool as hell because my son doesn’t need to be in the general population with all the- and he smiled and said Mexicans? I’m like oh nice. . . Low expectation havin’ mothafucka.

50 Responses to “The Program”

  1. THE "D" says:

    Keep him there in Eastern. I heard they have a very good understanding of what each student needs to succeed. I almost snatched Dave out of school (Catholic Central) due to the effect rich kids have on the general population. I thought it would be too much for him.

    He loves it even though he struggles with the grades. He understands the big picture. Struggling at Catholic Central and graduating is still better than going to Sexton and becoming the Dope man. The bad things about the schools here is that the kids are trying to be tough when they do not have to. Lansing is wonderful place but because of broken homes and drugs.

  2. Mexigogue says:

    They called me the dope man in my senior year at Eastern because I had a fat money roll I would peel off from to buy my lunch. Truth be told I was working at Westside Deli making pizzas at night and getting overtime on the weekends. Funny when people asked me for the drug hookup and I didn’t have it and they kind of just looked at me strange like the didn’t believe me.

  3. Amanda says:

    I was reading the curriculum and these kids have to write an extended 4,000 word essay! HAVE TO??? GET TO!!!

    I knew there was a reason I liked you.

  4. Mexigogue says:

    Geeks of the world unite! That’s why I wrote that Cheri post because that girl was a geek too. When I won the 10th grade essay contest for the City of San Angelo she was pissed because she had put in hours of research time before writing her paper (like we were supposed to) and I just wrote mine off the cuff. Where are my geeks???

  5. Mexigogue says:

    I’m certain I’ve told that story too. I need to get some new memories. I only remember like 3 things in my life. . the essay contest, the holiday inn VC check thing, and a three rail kick shot I made once at Leroy’s. Everything else is just a blur.

  6. Mexigogue says:

    Here is a nice essay I found at

    abraham lincoln was a good old man, he jumped out the window with his dick in his hand, he said hey lady, im doin my duty, so pull down yor pants and give me sum booty

  7. Amanda says:

    For shame!

    That’s not an essay. It’s a poem. I tell ya, some people are so ignorant.

  8. Mexigogue says:

    Kids used to recite that rhyme when I was in grade school. I remember trying to analyze it wondering if the fact that he was a good old man was because he jumped out the window with his dick in his hand or if it was independent of that fact. I still an unclear on that. I do wonder, though, what positive characteristic or effect can be attributed to such an action though.

  9. Amanda says:

    Grade school?

    I lived in Garden City and Dearborn my first few years of school. The worst word I was exposed to was “fart”. It wasn’t until middle school in Colorado that I started to hear sexually explicit stuff.

    But then, I’m an old broad. Times change.

  10. Mexigogue says:

    Grand River Elementary was a fucked up school (this was the area we had been bussed from a couple years before. Our principle got busted on a drug charge. The kid who beat me up in the playground after school is now doing life for murder (different kid, I absored more than my share of beatings too). The schools annual budget was probably $800.

  11. guy in the UNLV Jacket says:

    Who in their right mind would want to write a 4000 word essay! Fuck that. When I was a kid I cringed at writing anything more than my name… much writing, Give me some math or science something that is graded on right or wrong not a teachers whim*!

    * Veiled reference to Olympic gymnastics and figure scating judging

  12. Mexigogue says:


  13. guy in the UNLV Jacket says:

    huh? I remember reading somewhere that Eastern does have a good accelerated program. They draw alot of kids from the Groesbeck neighborhood and there seem to be some pretty bright apples out there. If I were you guys I would try to get Jordan out to a suburban school though like Grand Ledge or Okemos. I remember when my brother graduated from Grand Ledge they had like a 90% rate of kids continuing on to college not to bad….

  14. Phelps says:

    You know, I never actually heard the whole Abe Lincoln poem in school. It was always, “Abraham Lincoln was a good ole man, jumped out the window with his dick in his hand”. And then everyone would look at everyone else and start laughing, and you were supposed to already know the rest of it.

    I think that no one really knew any more than the first two lines, and no one wanted to admit that they didn’t know what it was (like me.)

  15. guy in the UNLV Jacket says:

    I always felt the same way about Beans Beans the magical fruit, The more the more you eat the more you toot…..Is there more?

  16. Nice Rack says:

    The more you toot, the better you feel, so let’s eat beans for every meal

  17. Mexigogue says:

    I didn’t know any more than the first line either. Thank God for the internet!!! I bet Dave knew it.

  18. THE "D" says:

    Yes I did know it!! I was busy today so I missed much of the Blog today. Good Afternoon Blogsters!!!!!!!!!!!

    Mike I believe everyone that lived in a big city had their share of beatings. Not counting the ones from Grandparents, Uncles and parents.

  19. Mexigogue says:


    and don’t forget: at Leroy’s this Saturday, it’s my mom vs Lauri’s mom in a bareknuckled fight to unconsciousness!! it’s OLD LADY WARS!!!!!!! WOOOOOOOT!!!!!!!!

  20. Nice Rack says:

    My mom isn’t fighting, but I might kick your ass, punk

  21. Mexigogue says:

    Oh, your mom is fighting all right. . . if we have to park ourselves on her front lawn and call her out Rocky III style, punkette!!

  22. Nice Rack says:

    My mom is not a fighter, and your mom will probably be at the casino

  23. guy in the UNLV Jacket says:

    Fun times are over no more drinking and chasing strippers and sluts my wife got here last night…..Can I get a moment of silence?

  24. THE "D" says:

    I feel for ya Brotha!

    You will never be able to enjoy yourself (rubbing in lounge) with another woman again.


  25. Mexigogue says:

    They got mad at me because there is a condolence card going around the office for someone who had a family member die and I was gonna write “Jeez o peetz!” on it.

  26. guy in the UNLV Jacket says:

    I feel like early man. I went from a hunter gatherer to a farmer. I liked farming life was good tomatoes when I wanted tomatoes, chicken when I wanted chicken no more dark times. The last 2 months I dusted off the loin cloth and spear and went back to hunting again. Life was good. Water Buffalo, Turkey and Deer all made it on to the menu although not as conststantly as the chicken and tomatoes. But Damn I like the taste of water buffalo. Now it is back to tomatoes and chicken…..:(

  27. Mexigogue says:

    I had a sasquatch a long while back. That scared me out of my appetite.

  28. THE "D" says:


  29. Nice Rack says:

    Was that the lazy eyed girl, or the beast who could have kicked your ass?

  30. Mexigogue says:

    The girl who wanted to have sex all the damn time and I was afraid she was gonna snap something off that I needed.

  31. Nice Rack says:

    Did her name start with La and end in Venus?

  32. Mexigogue says:


    For the record, I categorically deny any such allegation.

    Off the record, yes.

  33. Nice Rack says:

    I figured she was a close to big foot as you could get. I was always afraid she might try to kick my ass cuz I talked to you. Thank god that’s over and done with, though you could still be having penis-endangering sex if it wasn’t over.

  34. guy in the UNLV Jacket says:

    Rule #5 Don’t sleep with women named after planets or expensive cars. If said chick is a stripper and the name in question is a stage name thou shal bone her!!!!

  35. Mexigogue says:

    And she has a sister named (and I’m not kidding): Saturn.


  36. guy in the UNLV Jacket says:

    No fffffing way! WHat happened to regular black names like shaniqua, shavonda and the like. They wern’t good enough for her family. Hey mike what is your home #? I gotta call you tonight

  37. Mexigogue says:


  38. Nice Rack says:

    I am being stalked on yahoo messenger by a psycho who I ignored the other day. Now he keeps changing his screen name and telling me that if I ignore him one more time he will fuck up my connection. Is that possible?

  39. guy in the UNLV Jacket says:

    Nope not possible to mess up your connection. If you give me his screen name I’ll see if I can track him down and put a trojan horse or really fucked up virus on his computer. Let’s have some fun with this guy.

  40. guy in the UNLV Jacket says:

    better yet. Pretend you like him and want to send him a picture. We’ll spoof your email address and send him a nasty virus disguized as a picture of you . That should end his internet stalking!!!!

  41. Nice Rack says:

    his Yahoo ID is flipper2502, fuck him up the best you can buddy

  42. Mexigogue says:

    Muhuhahahahahahaa!! I like it!

  43. Nice Rack says:

    So, how do I get a blog Mr. Meximan, cuz I really need all of the internet attention I can get. Just think of how popular my page would be if that picture of my cleavage was the headline. I would soon rule the world!

  44. guy in the UNLV Jacket says:

    He looks kind of faggy

  45. Nice Rack says:

    And you wonder why I kept hitting ignore? I don’t talk to faggy looking men on the internet. If you have an ugly picture or no picture at all, don’t bother talking to me is my motto. Damn internet freaks anyway, lol

  46. Phelps says:

    NR, you can go to (bleh) and get a busted-ass blogger account, or you could get a web hosting account with your own domain ($$$) and install Movable Type or WordPress (yeah, right) or I could set you up on my account. But then you know what that will cost you.

  47. Nice Rack says:

    Would I have to sleep with you Phelps, or just supply you with a lifetime gallery of naked photos? Of course, you could choose to stop the photos at anytime, once sagginess starts to kick in. You boys have a good night, I am out of work and headed for home, where I will proceed to get ready for work at Leroy’s. Damn it was a long day.

  48. Mexigogue says:

    lifetime gallery of naked ph-

    (counting the money in my pocket)



    Getting ready for Leroy’s. yee ha. . .

  49. THE "D" says:

    I hate when I have a very very very busy day like yesterday. I missed all the good stuff on here. I still starting laughing this morning. You guys and gals make my day!